Pissed off at friends birthday plans

[Alarmingghhh]

It's a big birthday and she wants to rent out a space in a poshish bar, I had heard all about it, sounded good, I told her was available to come etc.

Well she's just sent us all our invites and she is charging a fee basically to cover the cost of reserving space. You do get something for the price aka your "ticket" includes 2 drinks, but I just think its really cheeky?! She has savings so it's like use your savings or else lower your expectation?!

How much do you have to pay?

I know what you mean, it does feel cheeky but it's your choice whether you go or not.

Don't go if you feel that strongly. She should have been upfront though.

I think if she rented the space and provided some snacks it would be reasonable to tell guests that it was buy own drinks.

Her birthday, her party, her choice.

If you don't want to go, don't go. Your money, your time, your choice.

It's that simple.

I don’t think it’s that cheeky as you get two drinks assuming the cost isn’t very high. Don’t go if you don’t want to

I think it’s fine. You know upfront and it includes some drinks which presumably you’d have bought on the day anyway - not many people can afford a fully open bar nowadays. Having something invested also helps to prevent people doing the old “oh yes I’d love to come I’ll definitely be there” and then just dropping out at the last minute - which can be pretty shitty if you’ve paid to hire a space, potentially with a minimum bar spend, cut off your invitation list based on the “yes”s received, and then end up with a half empty venue.

Wouldn't you be buying and paying for a couple of drinks anyway? I couldn't get worked up over this scenario. Different if nothing was included.

You can always choose not to go.

How much is she charging? If it’s a small amount that would be x2 drinks cost anyway then not so bad (although still quite cheeky). If it’s a lot I’d say thanks but no thanks as there’ll still be a lot of expense on top of that. Or have the party fee in place of a bday gift.

Its 15 quid and 2 glasses of wine

I guess it does make sense it's just she has form for making sure she never puts her hand in her pocket so it's rubbed me up the wrong way

We've done this and rented private space and split the cost. It's fine as long as she's upfront about it. I'd rather pay a bit for reserved space with tables and somewhere to dump bags and gifts.

It doesn’t sound as though you like your “friend” very much so why bother going to her party? Just decline. £15 for two drinks and the benefit of a nice private space sounds perfectly reasonable to me - but I really like my friends and enjoy celebrating pretty much anything, it wouldn’t occur to me to be annoyed at having to pay my way.

Seems reasonable to me. You'd soon be paying that for wine in my experience.

Just reject the invitation and turn it down.

If she has a strop, because she can't get her own way then it will teach her a life lesson!

Cheeky mare she is!

I wouldn't grudge it. £15 is ok.

I don't see the problem personally...do you not like her?

Don’t go then.

but that cost is what you would pay for two glasses of wine in a lot of places anyway!

Same for me, I expect to pay for myself when I go out to celebrate my friend’s birthdays 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why do people find this cheeky? 🤔 it covers two drinks, perfectly reasonable I think.

It's because she never pays her way. A few months ago we all had to contribute to a crowdfunder to raise ££££ for her dog because she didn't want to spend her own money.

I'd be happy if it was credit towards any drinks, I don't drink wine. She has been upfront about it, maybe assume it is instead of a present.

I just th8nk if you want to hire a posh bar then you pay for it and make it happen, or just go to the pub

Someone I know is doing similar recently because of the number of people who’ve got flaky since lockdown.

We were at a wedding recently where 24 people (out of 120) didn’t turn up on the day after RSVP’ing yes.

The friend, and yours by the sound of it, is simply asking people to pre-buy a couple of drinks before they spend out on hall hire and food. It’s no big deal imo.

Tbf the gofundme is cheeky af. And I wouldn't have donated. You didn't have to.

But this birthday scenario is different.

Just dont go. You clearly do not like the woman !
£15 is nothing for two drinks in a posh bar.
Plus you never HAD to contribute to the dogs treatment.