Pissed off at friends birthday plans

[Alarmingghhh]

It's a big birthday and she wants to rent out a space in a poshish bar, I had heard all about it, sounded good, I told her was available to come etc.

Well she's just sent us all our invites and she is charging a fee basically to cover the cost of reserving space. You do get something for the price aka your "ticket" includes 2 drinks, but I just think its really cheeky?! She has savings so it's like use your savings or else lower your expectation?!

Nothing wrong with you paying for 2 drinks that you're gonna drink.

It's bad form to send an invitation to celebrate your birthday and ask for a fee.

It's not bad down to chat with friends and say you'd love a get together and would everyone be up for chipping in?

It's very cheap skate and embarrassing to charge people to celebrate your birthday.

I'm intrigued about the dog.

How did she manage to extract money from you for the dog? At gunpoint? Or with some sob story about having to have it put to sleep otherwise? Or did she claim you were the doggie's "aunties"?

I feel there might be a lesson to be learnt here.

I wouldn’t have contributed to the dog, so 🤷‍♀️

Paying for a ticket to go to a birthday party seems alien to me. I'm surprised by these responses! Showing my age perhaps

I wouldn’t mind contributing to the cost of a redeemable deposit, but I would mind being told I was only allowed to drink wine out of it. If I’m paying for them, I’ll choose my own drinks thanks.

its an invite, not a summons 😝

It's a bit odd. This is probably a situation where she has to guarantee a minimum spend to have exclusive use of the space. In that situation I'd invite people along in the hope that they spent enough at the bar and then if the minimum spend wasn't reached I'd buy a couple of bottles of champagne. It's weird to dictate how much you all have to spend and what you will be drinking.

@Alarmingghhh “A few months ago we all had to contribute to a crowdfunder to raise ££££ for her dog because she didn't want to spend her own money.”

No, you didn’t. You need to learn to say no!

Me too! And I’m in my 30s so not ancient. It’s like selling tickets to a birthday party.

It’s not that I mind paying for my own drinks or expect the host to pay or provide anything. It’s being told I have to put my hand in my pocket to turn up.

Plus might not like wine, or be pregnant, or driving cos I can’t afford a cab or any other myriad of reasons why I might not drink the two glasses of wine my ticket includes.

bloody hell you are unpleasant aren’t you, what’s the point in commenting voluntarily on a thread when you aren’t interested?

If you feel like that about her why did you accept the invitation in the first place, and why are you bothered about maintaining the friendship? And you didn't have to contribute to her dog's treatment.

Yet another person who doesn't seem to like their friends

OP I think you're getting a hard time here. This isn't really about the £15 is it? If there was no back story you might have a brief wtf moment and then pay it. But this has a 'last straw' feeling to it.

This friend wants a lavish lifestyle but all at someone else's expense and you're fed up of it being (partly) at yours. Her level of tightness is going to drive people away.

And who thinks slices of cheese and a bit of carrot is a dinner, when you've invited someone over? Would she be happy with that if she was the one who'd been invited? Or would she expect the full red carpet treatment?

I couldn't stay friends with her knowing that she will always have her hand out. And maybe this is the end of the road for you too.

Oh god OP, if I was her I would be glad you weren't coming. Touchy much 🤣

😂😂😂

Is she the host or a club promoter??? It would be a polite no from me. I’m embarrassed for her.

😂😂😂

Perfectly reasonable. If you want to go and drink cheap nasty wine go somewhere else

I’m actually fucking delightful. HTH

What a strange approach for a birthday party 🤔 She should have paid for it, and let guests know there is a minimum spend so get drinking (or eating)😆 I'd never dream of charging guests!

I hate wine, so I'd be annoyed at that. I'd reply, "Sorry I don't drink wine. £15 is alot for something I can't drink. Why don't we just go to the pub instead?"

No, you didn't "have to" contribute, you chose to.

She can't spend your money, you're the one doing it. So stop. If it means you fall out, then she wasn't a friend anyway.

£15??!! For a reserved space in a nice bar? Come off it. It's standard to charge a fee that is then deducted from the bar tab, it's to ensure people don't mess the bar around by not turning up.

In some posh bars £15 gets you ONE cocktail!

Bad day then, we all have them

If there is a minimum spend that doesn't get met, then that's the host's issue and expense.

I don't drink, so wouldn't get anything for my money. If me and DH were both invited, he drinks but not wine, so we would fork out £30 for nothing.

It is cheeky. Organise a night out that you can afford or where people can manage their own spending for themselves. You can't ask for other people to fund your party.

FWIW: I'm not one of those mumsnet people that expect the birthday person to pay for their meal/ drinks in a restaurant situation. But if you invite people to a party, then at least some form of food/ drink should be on you.

Well yes, but it is the organiser's risk to take, isn't it?