Pissed off at friends birthday plans

[Alarmingghhh]

It's a big birthday and she wants to rent out a space in a poshish bar, I had heard all about it, sounded good, I told her was available to come etc.

Well she's just sent us all our invites and she is charging a fee basically to cover the cost of reserving space. You do get something for the price aka your "ticket" includes 2 drinks, but I just think its really cheeky?! She has savings so it's like use your savings or else lower your expectation?!

The op sounds delusional

Could the voucher be for £15 bar credit instead?

As a one off, this wouldn’t annoy me, but I’d feel fed up if she’s been a bit cheeky for years, and with the recent crowdfunder.

You sound quite unpleasant op.

I was going to say YANBU but then I saw it was £15 which in a “posh” bar would easily cover 2 drinks. I’d rather pay and guarantee a seat/ extra space.

The dog thing was cheeky though. I suppose if she has form for this sort of stuff I could see why you’d be pissed off.

So the person complaining about paying for her drinks (in form of a pre paid voucher) is accusing others of being grabby?

Well Im just relieved none of my recent invites have a £15 charge for a friends birthday .....which means Ive no chance of bumping into this OP who sounds .......charming 😂

You didn't HAVE to contribute though, it was entirely optional, as is this invite?

In this case you're not expecting her to pay her way, you're expecting her to pay hers and everyone else's way!

If she'd said 'Shall we go for a meal for my birthday,' would you have expected her to pay for everyone's meals?'
If she'd said 'Shall we go to a club for my birthday' would you expect her to pay everyone's door fee and drinks all night?
If she'd said 'Shall we go to the cinema for my birthday,' would you expect her to pay for everyone's tickets?
same for spa/theme park/gig etc.

There are some people on MN who still think that the invitee should pay for everything - there were loads of people aghast on a recent thread that someone was asked to pay £20 for a hen party, completely didn't get that the cost was what the venue (a hotel) charged for afternoon tea and the he wasn't making any sort of profit - but tbh I have never come across this in real life. It seems like a very old fashioned/formal tradition. In my experience someone suggests what they'd like to do for their event, anyone who wants to come shares the cost.

It's more likely (although not expected) that the other invitees would cover the organiser, i.e. as a birthday present, than for the invitee to pay for everything.

I don’t know why people are so snarky op “you obviously don’t like her…” bollocks . I’d be pissed off as well. It’s not the cost, it’s the principle. Having to reward tight arses that want to show off using your money to do it. YANBU.

Totally 😂

Yeah she's a nice person but she's tight as hell. Once she invited a mutual friend over for dinner and it was just slices of cheddar and carrots. She's always hustling for freebies, free places to holiday, free drinks, she's an absolute PITA re money.
Yesterday she texted me to say a friend (who I don't know) had turned down her invite and had a go at her about it which made me feel a bit better 😅

Exactly

OP your posts on this thread are a bit weird. I'm in two minds about whether she is being reasonable or unreasonable but you could just say "Sorry I didn't realise we had to pay and have wine. I don't drink wine so will sit this one out" if you don't want to go.

You say she doesn't pay her way so I wonder whether the £15 covers her costs too!

TBF if you drink wine that's covering your basic costs so you're neutral. It's only an issue if you won't drink the wine or it's specified bottles of cheap stuff left on the tables all night

Seriously though, pot meet kettle. You’re whinging like fuck about paying 15 quid for two glasses of wine and calling her tight.

Define "had to"

What on earth are you on about?

I'd expect someone for their birthday to be like "Hey I've got us this room at a bar, bring cash for your drinks!" Or "Hey guys, see you down X pub for my birthday", and probably everyone would have ended up buying her drinks all night.
What I don't expect is "Hi guys I'd like to rent a £££ room for the evening but don't want it to cost me, can you guys pay?"

What principle? Do you expect free drinks or something? I’m sure f she doesn’t wish wine she can have something else.

bloody hell/

That’s not what this is. Calm yourself down. Most places have a min spend and they guarantee it like this, 15 quid, two drinks, job done.

you are so irate and over the top about paying 15 quid for two drinks. It’s really quite something.

Why do you keep bleating on about free drinks?

Nobody has a problem with paying for drinks that they choose and consume?

are you new? When a poster quotes another poster they are refering to that poster, not you.

Then ask for something else if you don’t want wine.

Yup.

The monster comment was just weird. Sounded rational until that comment then seemed to lose it.

I think where OP is coming from is that the host wants to have the VIP treatment but doesn’t want to pay for it herself. I personally wouldn’t mind paying the £15 but if the friend has form for this sort of thing then I suppose it would grate. I also suppose it depends on how it’s put to the attendees:

”hi it’s my birthday next month and found we can go in a quieter area of the bar for £15 which includes 2 drinks. Would anyone be interested?”

opposed to:

”drinks at x for my birthday. I’ve hired the private area. Hope you can make it”

”would love to thank you”

”great that’ll be £15 I’ll send you my bank details”

Yes exactly this. A friend of mine did this for a special bday. Hired a small space at her expense, put put some food and all the guests purchased their own drinks at the bar. Ppl can spend as little or as much as they want on their own drinks.

But she’s not having rhe vip treatment, she’s getting nothing for it specifically, most venues charge like this. A min spend. I’d understand it if she was getting champagne and roses thrown in and asking everyone to cough up, but she’s not. It’s just a min spend, as standard,