To think there's never an excuse for not offering to take your shoes off in someone's home?

[CheerUpFFS]

If you're a guest ( not working, I.e in a profession where you go into someone's house ) aibu to think there is never, ever an excuse to not at least offer to take your shoes off in someone's home? My mind is always blown when someone comes to mine and leaves them on,

Yabu - I keep my shoes on
Yanbu - I take them off

This 100%

Mumsnet always baffles me

Yes! Oh and what about my cats and dogs??? What utter nonsense. If you own cats/dogs then surely you'd know they don't wear shoes and be prepared for a few paw prints, otherwise you wouldn't get them in the first place.

Yeah…that’s British culture for you. You asked in the wrong place. Outside of here, nobody will think walking around the house with shoes you’ve been wearing outside is normal.

You should be making your guests feel comfortable in your home UNLESS their staying there in which case they should show appreciation by following direction/family rules

That's the rule of thumb

@BusterGonad no, you must live in an area where taking shoes off is considered polite. Where others live, it isn't.

People are very easily offended if they object to removing their shoes.

I never ask anyone to because it is the norm to remove shoes where I live anyway, but if someone didn't I wouldn't ask them to unless they were obviously wet and dirty.

I remove mine for comfort not because I am anal about dirt and germs.

I always offer to remove my shoes in other people's houses because it is polite to do so.

Depends on the house. If I walk into one with carpets, especially light coloured ones and the place has the sanitary feel of a hospital in the fifties then I’ll take shoes off without thinking. Most friends’ houses I go into have hard floors though, my own included, and it would be ridiculous to expect guests to walk around in their socks or feet on them. I don’t want cold feet thanks and I wouldn’t want my guests to have cold feet either. Flagstones are not only cold but tend to be grubby no matter how much you mop them so are a no go for socks - or bare feet unless in the height of summer I guess.

YANBU
I'm with you OP.

I always offer. Regardless of what their house looks like because I think it's polite.

I don't understand all the posters who seem to think it's normal to NOT ask.

I think as a guest, there is a reciprocal consideration. They've been nice enough to invite you around, your duty is to encroach upon them as little as possible, I.e. make sure you're not causing them to clean up after you (or if they do, as little as possible)... so not carrying dirt into their house, offering to carry plated out, returning things to where you took them...

Shoes off is very working class. I have only ever been asked to take my shoes off in the home of social climbers. Proper posh people never take their shoes off indoors.

I always take my shoes off in my home and anyone else's, so do my dc.

I don't live in Britain, and most people here don't expect you to take your shoes off when you visit. It's perfectly normal to wear shoes inside - and bare feet.

Maybe, but I think it is etiquette to offer to remove shoes regardless of class. I wouldn't smoke in someone's house, I wouldn't put my feet up on their sofa so why would I wear my out door shoes?

I always take my shoes off and my visitors too.

This is a classic Mumsnet post where half the posters think it's wierd to take your shoes off and no one does it and the other half think everyone does it. Perhaps different people do different things? I would be interested if it is regional or class based it.

Fwiw I always offer because I know it matters to some people. Lots of people who come round to mine take their shoes off but if they don't then I don't expect them to.

There is no reason other than bad manners to expect people to remove shoes.

Ludicrous idea.

Fortunately my friends have better manners as do we. I don't want your scabby feet on my floors.

My mind is always blown when someone comes to mine and leaves them on,

My mind is blown that people make interior design choices that make guests feel unwelcome and uncomfortable. Door mats were created for a purpose !

I find this confusing. Why do you think feet (usually in socks) are worse then shoes? Do all your visitors just leave their house, get in their car then come to your door? My shoes are usually quite dirty, as I walk everywhere, I would definitely say my shoes are filthier than my feet. But at the end of the day if you're visiting someone isn't it polite to follow their lead? If you cannot do a simple task (obviously excluding people with disabilities and other reasons why removing shoes is an issue) such as remove your shoes then I don't think you're a very good person tbh. It's such a small thing to do and really doesn't affect you much. If I didn't want to take my shoes off to visit someone then it speaks more about our friendship than anything else.

I'd take mine off if the host asked me to. We all wear slippers at home . But I'd only ask a guest if they had very muddy shoes

I absolutely loath socked feet, particularly my own so unless you're giving me slippers I'd be unhappy to remove them.

I do when I know it's a no shoes house but I didn't ever meet a no shoes house until I was in my 30s.

And with dogs and cats in the house it's particularly disgusting to not have footwear on.

I was taken aback the first time I was asked to take shoes off when visiting new friends. It wasn't something I'd ever come across. They had acres of cream pristine carpets. And a big hallway for the shoes. They're still the only people who expect this whose home we regularly visit and that's fine.

I'd never expect anyone to take theirs off unless they were super muddy etc. we've a downstairs loo and hardwood throughout so floors easily cleaned.

I don't know anyone (these days) that wears shoes in their house. My grandparents used to and they always thought it was funny when I removed my shoes at the door.

I have arthritis and plantar faciitis, but still remove my shoes in other people's houses. At home I have slippers with orthotics in them.

I wouldn't ever want to have bare feet in someone's house either. I never ask people to remove their shoes, but they always do.

Same here. I would expect anyone who is offended at the very idea of removing shoes to meticulously wipe their feet on entering my huuse. It rains a lot where I live and it is just normal to offer to remove one's shoes. It's not cultural where I live, just practical.

I'm amazed at the snobbery expressed about households where people take shoes off though. Is this snobbery extended to cultures where removing shoes is expected? Or are these snobs racist as well?

My mind is blown that people make interior design choices that make guests feel unwelcome and uncomfortable.

My mind is blown at posters who make fatuous remarks like this. We have carpets (regularly cleaned) because the house would feel too cold if we didn't. It has nothing to do with making guests feel unwelcome.

Also, no-one I know would be offended at being asked to remove shoes because everyone does anyway. We aren't social climbers either, just polite.

That said, I am polite and socially aware enough never to ask anyone to do this. My guests are also polite and socially aware enough to offer.

Fwiw I always offer because I know it matters to some people. Lots of people who come round to mine take their shoes off but if they don't then I don't expect them to.

Same here @Disasterclass. Being considerate to hosts and guests is what it boils down to, and it seems a lot of professionally offended mumsnetters on this thread don't have the social awareness to understand this.

Shoes off is very working class. I have only ever been asked to take my shoes off in the home of social climbers. Proper posh people never take their shoes off indoors.

classic mumsnet, and utter bollocks.

I live in the south and it’s very common to take shoes off in someone’s home, I always ask and almost always they say yes please. I don’t want people wearing shoes in my house but mostly so it doesn’t ruin the carpets!! Also shoes are incredibly filthy. My very large family are in the north and it is unusual to take your shoes off there. No idea if it’s area based or just coincidence!

How do the strict shoe off people manage with parties? Or more formal things? It would feel weird to me to be all dressed up with my lovely shoes on and be asked to remove them! And then all stand around in our socks and tights 😮😂