To think there's never an excuse for not offering to take your shoes off in someone's home?

[CheerUpFFS]

If you're a guest ( not working, I.e in a profession where you go into someone's house ) aibu to think there is never, ever an excuse to not at least offer to take your shoes off in someone's home? My mind is always blown when someone comes to mine and leaves them on,

Yabu - I keep my shoes on
Yanbu - I take them off

Yes, but they're outer clothes, protective wear against the weather, if you like. Shoes are not quite in the same category imo (you would take hat etc off when you get to the office, for instance, but not your shoes). For me, removing shoes is over-familiarity.

It appears that quite a few trades people and jobs involved with home visits are trained to take shoes off. That tells me it's common courtesy to do so.

You'd not be able to complain if your roolz led to a Verruca outbreak in your family. Eek

Trousers, pants, bras, shirts, all clothes. Where do you draw the line? There is a line of what is acceptable. Set your own, but don't make out that shoes being part of what makes you acceptably covered for public interaction is wrong.

All those people abusing offices. What about GP surgeries, dentists, hospitals.

Are you aware that it is considered non-U to expect people to remove their shoes when they come into your home?

LOLing at this. Who gives a flying fuck? Also @MasterBeth and her GCSE sociology thesis about shoes off correlating with Brexit support. I’m a hardcore frothing at the mouth Remoaner and shoes off.

I can’t believe people still playing the Non-U card as some sort of class checkmate on these threads as if the opinions of a few fascist supporting toffs from the 1930s and their opinions should still be a relevant benchmark for class or taste.

It’s just embarrassing.

I know, all these shoes indoors! 😱

You need to go on the "is it rude to wave people off when they've been visiting" thread in active 😀

If you are wearing socks you are just as covered as in shoes.

Agree

You don't seem to know the difference between are and should - class markers exist, whether you find them embarrassing or not.

And you don't seem to know the difference between a trend and an anecdote. Yes, I bet there's a strong correlation between Brexit voting and shoes on. Your example to the contrary doesn't change that.

Most people are non-U. As a working person I have no interest in following the social norms of the rich.

Agreed, it's just a way of shutting people down.

See MasterBeth's post.

Taking off shoes is not universal. I've lived on 3 continents and the only place I've ever been asked to take off my shoes is Japan.

Taking off shoes is not universal. I've lived on 3 continents and the only place I've ever been asked to take off my shoes is Japan.

The norm in the Gulf countries as well.

@MasterBeth

And you don't seem to know the difference between a trend and an anecdote.

I understand the difference thank you. But you need to present evidence to establish a trend exists, as opposed to a lots of half baked theories based on your own prejudice.

On the class thing, I asked my posh friend about this recently as we've had a few similar threads.

He said it's rude to take your shoes off because it implies you think the host doesn't have enough money to get their floors cleaned.

I'm an indoor shoe wearer - we have downstairs tiled floors - they're easy to clean & also cold on bare / sock wearing feet. I don't expect my guests to remove their shoes unless obviously caked in mud. That's why we have door mats. Non-visible dirt / germs are a) good for you (& your microbiome) in small quantities & b) my family are all old enough to no longer be crawling around on the floor (& even when small never licked it).

I like to make my visitors feel welcome so am happy for them to remove their shoes or keep them on. I also provide ashtrays for smokers - I'd prefer they smoked outside but don't want fag butts lying about. We also put visitors used nappies in our bin too.

I like to wear heels & get cold feet very quickly so would only remove my shoes at another person's house if they asked me to. I would also hope they would provide me with slippers - but sadly this has only happened once.

People who live in a warm climate, like me. Thankfully, shoes off is not really a thing where I live in the Southern US. I've never been in a house where visitors were asked to remove shoes

Also in the US the old-fashioned wall-to-wall carpeting is seen as a less desirable flooring option. Carpeting is seen as a negative when trying to sell a home.

Hardwood floors, ceramic tile (in the South in particular) is becoming the norm.

I really, really dislike carpeting person,ally.

The people I know who are shoes (not culturally) off are also the people that clean their house every 11 seconds so I don't even see how it makes much difference anyway

if you want me to remove my shoes, just ask me. Why is it my job to ask about the rules of your house?

Yep. It's rude not to take them off if asked. It's not rude to not ask the question.

On the other hand, if you're a shoes off house, don't make the demand (and brusquely) the first thing you say when you open the door, like someone did to me a few months ago. That just makes the guest feel uncomfortable. Just greet them warmly and show them where the shoe rack is.

Only that specific paragraph related to those areas, all the others related to carpets in general.

"Carpets are a catch-all for dirt, with dust mites, pet hair, pet urine, dead skin cells, dust, insect faeces, insect husks, bacteria, mould, volatile organic compounds, and many other types of allergens clinging to the fibres."

"As if that wasn’t enough, your carpet is coated in a sort of greasy residue that comes from dead skin, oils from hair and pet fur, dropped food crumbs, and more. "

" The average carpet can hold roughly four times its own weight in dirt!"

Do you really think dust mites, bacteria and dead skin cells are limited to children's bedrooms but adult bedrooms are magically exempt??"

Nope, I don't have to clean all the time as we leave our shoes at the door.

On the other hand, if you're a shoes off house, don't make the demand (and brusquely) the first thing you say when you open the door, like someone did to me a few months ago. That just makes the guest feel uncomfortable. Just greet them warmly and show them where the shoe rack is.

I do agree about this. Sometimes “shoes off” people are a bit performative and officious about it, which is tedious. It’s really not the end of the world.