Page 16 | To think there's never an excuse for not offering to take your shoes off in someone's home?

BusterGonad · 27/04/2024 15:11

1offnamechange · 27/04/2024 14:41

Only that specific paragraph related to those areas, all the others related to carpets in general.

"Carpets are a catch-all for dirt, with dust mites, pet hair, pet urine, dead skin cells, dust, insect faeces, insect husks, bacteria, mould, volatile organic compounds, and many other types of allergens clinging to the fibres."

"As if that wasn’t enough, your carpet is coated in a sort of greasy residue that comes from dead skin, oils from hair and pet fur, dropped food crumbs, and more. "

" The average carpet can hold roughly four times its own weight in dirt!"

Do you really think dust mites, bacteria and dead skin cells are limited to children's bedrooms but adult bedrooms are magically exempt??"

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Of course I don't, did you see my links? We can all put forward examples to back up our own view point. I'm not particularly bothered about the everyday dirt, dog shit from pavements is gross, piss from public toilets is gross and visible stains is what I don't want in my house. As its my house I don't really care what others view points are. We could go on forever putting our view point across. I don't want outdoor footwear worn on my carpet, it's as simple as that, if my visitors cannot respect that they really are not welcome. If that makes me lower class, working class.. Stupid insults to embarrass people to shut them up. So be it.

BIossomtoes · 27/04/2024 15:13

BusterGonad · 27/04/2024 13:36

It appears that quite a few trades people and jobs involved with home visits are trained to take shoes off. That tells me it's common courtesy to do so.

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Your logic is flawed. What it actually tells you is that a large number of homes require it. Which seems odd to me because no tradesman entering this house - and they were in and out for weeks last year - has ever removed their shoes. It has nothing to do with courtesy.

Nextweektoo · 27/04/2024 15:17

My kids are not little anymore so I genuinely don't care. I think there are worse off places to pick up germs such as trolley handles, door knobs etc

BusterGonad · 27/04/2024 15:17

BIossomtoes · 27/04/2024 15:13

Your logic is flawed. What it actually tells you is that a large number of homes require it. Which seems odd to me because no tradesman entering this house - and they were in and out for weeks last year - has ever removed their shoes. It has nothing to do with courtesy.

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Okay, so either way it's a pretty common thing to remove shoes when entering a house.

TheOriginalEmu · 27/04/2024 15:20

BusterGonad · 27/04/2024 04:50

I'll never understand Mumsnet, apparently it's gross to not rinse plates after washing up, it's gross to not shower at least once a day, it's gross to not wash your clothes after every wear but outdoor shoes in the house is perfectly normal and you're weird if you worry about ruined carpets, dog shit and piss from public toilets over your nice carpet. I like to sit on my carpet. I like my carpet without stains. I paid good money for it so want it to last as long as possible. Obviously people in wheelchairs and with disabilities are welcome to leave shoes on/come on in, but if you are fully able to remove shoes with no cost to your health and wellbeing I do expect and ask for shoes off (fungal feet isn't really as common as most make out, and with socks no issue) My childhood home was shoes off, my husbands was too, most people I visit it's shoes off. I'm not even an uptight person. I just like my carpets to look good and last long, and after having a child I realised it's pretty gross to not have clean carpets. I find it extremely rude and lacking in manners for someone not to offer. And if I got the side eye then tbh I'd think you were a bit immature and not really my type of person and therefore not welcome. I don't think it's a bit ask. Most trades people offer to remove shoes. I must live in an area where being polite is important.

It’s not a big ask, but it is something you should ask if that’s what you want, because whether you like it or not, not everyone has that cultural norm and so they may not even think to offer it as it’s so far outside what they’ve always done. It’s not rude to not offer to do something you don’t know the other person wants you to offer! So just ask.

RamblingEclectic · 27/04/2024 15:22

I don't think there is an excuse to expect people to be mind readers because of your carpets.

It's not automatic for me unless I see visual cues for it like seating and shoe storage near the door or some people have a nice little sign just inside their door. Just having very clean carpet isn't a cue enough for me - my grandmothers always had immaculate homes and still wore their shoes inside.

I wouldn't think much of a host that didn't consider that someone might not be able to easily remove their shoes. If you expect people to remove their shoes, then I think there is no excuse to not provide seating for people to do so safely and comfortably. It's very rude to expect everyone to perch on one leg to remove boots and similar that can't just be slipped off (and if you're worried about my shoes, you probably don't want me to sit on the floor in my coat). I don't care either way, but I put an ottoman bench near the door so guests who want to can do so comfortably. Not all houses make that easy, but if it's important to you, you should make as easy for your guests as possible.

NoisySnail · 27/04/2024 15:24

Ah so you are the relative/friend who expects others to be mind readers and gets upset when they are not.

ChaosMoon · 27/04/2024 15:28

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 27/04/2024 12:28

I’m the same, but I take my slippers or house shoes if it is wet underfoot ( or if I know someone is precious about it) and change when I get there.

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I do the same if I'm able to plan ahead, but that isn't always possible.

BusterGonad · 27/04/2024 15:30

TheOriginalEmu · 27/04/2024 15:20

It’s not a big ask, but it is something you should ask if that’s what you want, because whether you like it or not, not everyone has that cultural norm and so they may not even think to offer it as it’s so far outside what they’ve always done. It’s not rude to not offer to do something you don’t know the other person wants you to offer! So just ask.

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I do ask, generally it's obvious and usually the visitor will ask. I was more referring to the other posters who don't offer and storm on in as if it's their own home. And the side eye comment was referring to other posters making out 'shoe off' hosts are totally unreasonable.

MasterBeth · 27/04/2024 15:38

Thepeopleversuswork · 27/04/2024 14:04

@MasterBeth

And you don't seem to know the difference between a trend and an anecdote.

I understand the difference thank you. But you need to present evidence to establish a trend exists, as opposed to a lots of half baked theories based on your own prejudice.

To be fair to me, it was one half-baked theory framed as a bet, not a load of them.

I stand by it. I think it's probably a more reliable theory than one based on class or ago, although I think class and age have something to do with it.

littleburn · 27/04/2024 15:44

Just ask people to take their shoes off when they arrive, 'would you mind ...' Problem solved.

Portakalkedi · 27/04/2024 15:44

When I read posts like this I think it's a pity we are not a shoes-off culture like some. I lived in other countries where it is standard, and houses have a rack of 'slippers' (plastic or other cleanable material), and the host automatically picks out a pair and puts them down for the guest, who has already taken their shoes off at the door.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 27/04/2024 15:56

The police won't take their shoes off if they enter your house.
I wouldn't ask a fireman to eiither.

CammyChameleon · 27/04/2024 15:57

Idk if you've ever smelled an infected ingrown toenail...

BusterGonad · 27/04/2024 16:23

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 27/04/2024 15:56

The police won't take their shoes off if they enter your house.
I wouldn't ask a fireman to eiither.

I think in that scenario the shoes probably wouldn't be a big worry.

LordPercyPercy · 27/04/2024 16:27

The police won't take their shoes off if they enter your house.

Depends. If they're breaking down your door to arrest you, no. If they're coming round to speak to you as a witness or something then I'm sure you could ask them to pop on shoe covers.

BusterGonad · 27/04/2024 16:45

CammyChameleon · 27/04/2024 15:57

Idk if you've ever smelled an infected ingrown toenail...

How often would someone be coming to your house with a raging nail infection?

Iaskedyouthrice · 27/04/2024 16:50

Hardwood flooring with rugs throughout here so don't expect anyone to take their shoes off. I have a welcome matt for people to wipe their feet on and if they track anything in I just clean it when they have gone.
I offer to take mine off in anyone's house who have carpet.
Only time I won't offer in a carpeted house is if you have a dog, especially a dog that moults, I'm not putting socks covered in dog hair back into my shoes so unless you offer some slip ons, my shoes are staying on.

Hakeje · 27/04/2024 16:54

BusterGonad · 27/04/2024 16:45

How often would someone be coming to your house with a raging nail infection?

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Indeed and you’d think that even if it was infected, that they’d be very regularly cleaning it with salty water.

Cluelessaf · 27/04/2024 16:57

I am not keen on feet so would prefer you to keep your shoes on

Cluelessaf · 27/04/2024 16:59

I also don't have two of my toenails and would be mortified if I had to unexpectedly remove shoes or sandals in the summer, when I'd be sockless. Not to mention struggling to balance on one leg to put them back on, as I've yet to see a seat or bench anywhere that is shoes off!

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 27/04/2024 17:22

Disability

My DM is under doctors orders not to go barefoot. She can only walk or stand while wearing special shoes.

ToWhitToWhoo · 27/04/2024 17:32

If you arrive at someone's home and your host(s) have their shoes off, then I think it's courteous to offer to take yours off. If everyone in the home's got their shoes on, I don't think it would or should even occur to most visitors to take theirs off.

ToWhitToWhoo · 27/04/2024 17:39

And yes, some people have disabilities that would affect their ability to walk in stocking feet. I could manage on carpeted floors, but not easily on floors with any slippery potential.

As regards germs, one can carry germs on socks and stockings, or even bare feet, not only on shoes. And most infections are spread by breathing, or by touching food, which one generally isn't doing with one's feet!

CulturalNomad · 27/04/2024 17:51

Hardwood flooring with rugs throughout here so don't expect anyone to take their shoes off

Same here. Where I am carpeting is just not a thing. Nobody builds a new home and has carpeting installed and if you buy a home with carpeting you factor in the cost of having it ripped out and installing hardwood.

Even apartment rentals here will have wood or even luxury vinyl. Full on carpeting is seen as outdated.