DP suspicious hotel stay

[Rainbowismyfavouritecolour]

So I went away for a week on holiday with the children. DP stayed behind on his own as he had work. One evening after work he left the house and stayed at a reasonably local hotel because he got scared and felt like something was ‘off’ in the house. Apparently the lights were flickering (it’s an old house in the countryside) and he didn’t feel safe alone there.

He rang me from the hotel and we talked for about 5-10 minutes. He stayed one night and went home the next morning.

Now I think this seems really odd. AIBU to think something else went on?

YABU- this is normal behaviour
YANBU- his behaviour is suspicious

Bizarrely bad excuse on his part, plus the whole indignation of how dare you question me/ not believe me. Sorry OP, this is a classic playing away.

Absolutely bullshit.

Sounds like he's seeing sex workers.

I think one hundred percent he met someone to have sex with at the hotel. Then got spooked either from recognising someone out and about or at the hotel. Or he realised the ring camera would show he was out all night.

I am sorry to spell it out but I think for your own bodily safety ( could be unprotected sex or sex worker) and sanity it’s better to be clear.

I would suggest search computer history , search email for receipts and search the phone for apps / hidden apps. Look at hidden WhatsApp’s too under archived.

I think it’s extremely unlikely he would have forked out for a hotel as he got spooked- he’s not 16 is he?

good luck op x

I've walked this mile. My ex husband used to send me pictures of his van outside random buildings with "look at poor me working late". One day he sent a picture of a checkered floor with water on it. Turns out that was OW's hairdressing salon where they were having evening meetings. My favourite was when we had his parents staying and he said he was going on a training course (on a Sunday). When we got to financial disclosure, it turned out that his training course was indeed a lovely day out with OW taking her shopping and for lunch while leaving me with our baby and his parents to entertain. He and OW continued the narrative that there was no affair 🤣. He's having an affair, I'd put money on it.

I think one hundred percent he met someone to have sex with at the hotel. Then got spooked either from recognising someone out and about or at the hotel. Or he realised the ring camera would show he was out all night.

I am sorry to spell it out but I think for your own bodily safety ( could be unprotected sex or sex worker) and sanity it’s better to be clear.

I would suggest search computer history , search email for receipts and search the phone for apps / hidden apps. Look at hidden WhatsApp’s too under archived.

I think it’s extremely unlikely he would have forked out for a hotel as he got spooked- he’s not 16 is he?

good luck op x

Can you access his emails? That should confirm how many were booked in the room.

A lot do but they don’t tend to stay overnight. A lot book afternoon slots. Unless he paid for a girlfriend experience.

If he was scared he would have text you to say something weird was happening in the house. And then it would have escalated to not being safe there. He didn't do that.

Something happened before 9pm that made him contact you with the shite story.

What a lot of old nonsense he's spinning you there!

I would just demand you see that hotel booking and his bank statement. No pissing about, you need to see it now.
By creeping round him you are giving him the opportunity to hide these things from you.
If there was nothing to hide he would gladly show you.
You're in a relationship, he shouldn't get shirty about asking for some reassurance, he should just provide it for your peace of mind.

Odd behaviour.

I have an old house and I often hear random creaking sounds, I have had things randomly fall of the walls/shelves and I often wonder if I have a ghost in residence...It was worst when I first moved in as I even felt I was being watched /someone else was there but I got used to it.

The point is even with the spooky happening I never once thought of running off to a hotel so I would find it odd for a grown man to do that.

Unless of course he has a history of being overly superstitious or a tendency to anxiety and struggling to be on his own.

He could have used the hotel to see a prostitute and was spotted there as it local by someone who knows he is married and he had to come up with a random excuse.

Officially (DP, not DH) he is free to do whatever he wishes, but this behaviour is suss.

It's not a believable reason imo, especially at 6 in the evening when it's still light out until 8ish. I'd have thought 'call girl' scenario here, but had to explain the stay if someone saw him.

I agree with you 'startingagain' I can not imagine any man being scared by this. 2 men have come in here saying they are 'big burly' men who were scared of flying insects or noises!!! Christ!! How the hell is that normal!!! I am embarrassed for these men. What wet lettuces! I think op partner is definitely up to something!

He may not have even been to a hotel at all! If he did book a hotel it would have been arranged further in advance so if you can check his email and either there is no booking email or the booking was made prior to that evening then that would be enough evidence for me.

He's obviously just hiding in plain sight.
Ask to see the booking information, it will tell you when it was booked.

Agree.
I'd look for odd cash withdrawals around that date. Or numbers dialled/messages sent that day or week.

He’s setting up his alibi so to speak and the phone call meant you’d had a chat that evening and probably wouldn’t need to speak again.

I think this is your best bet tbh. I think this whole thing sounds dodgy

How far into your trip was it and do you often go away leaving him home alone. It does sound very strange but I guess if he’s not used to being home alone for long periods maybe he was really struggling and felt he wanted to get away.

He must think you are thick if he thinks you'll believe that. Nobody would. Its a ridiculous fucking story.

Sorry he's lying to you op. You wont be able to trust him now and you may make yourself sick trying to catch him out and do all this detective work...whats the point of wasting all that time and energy.

If that was my partner I would tell him once and firmly that its it's time to tell the whole truth about that night and if not, he can get out now.

Surely if it was planned though he would have come up with a better excuse. It’s just such a weird thing to come up with

This. I'd assume he was happy to take a call at 9pm because when you're paying by the hour it leaves the rest of the evening free.

He may not have even been to a hotel at all!
Exactly, please dont mentally exhaust yourself trying to navigate this mans lies.

Youll end up in circles, feel like you're going mad and become mentally unwell.
Nobody is worth that.

It sounds like he's covering his tracks in case someone saw him. Is he normally so pathetic?. I've never heard of a husband and father booking into a hotel because the home lights were flickering. If the bed was levitating I could understand it.