DP suspicious hotel stay

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So I went away for a week on holiday with the children. DP stayed behind on his own as he had work. One evening after work he left the house and stayed at a reasonably local hotel because he got scared and felt like something was ‘off’ in the house. Apparently the lights were flickering (it’s an old house in the countryside) and he didn’t feel safe alone there.

He rang me from the hotel and we talked for about 5-10 minutes. He stayed one night and went home the next morning.

Now I think this seems really odd. AIBU to think something else went on?

YABU- this is normal behaviour
YANBU- his behaviour is suspicious

Blimey, OP. I'm usually slower than most to say it sounds dodgy, but this genuinely does.

I hope he at least starts communicating honestly with you, and that you're able to deal whatever flows from that. Good luck.

All the suggestions about contacting hotel and looking for receipts won't lead anywhere. Receipts don't say - room 69 man & prostitutes - 3 hours!

@Megifer has it right. The only way you'll get anywhere is playing him at his own bullshit. You might need him to give you money for an electrical check - at least £500, money for a priest to come bless the house to rid it of the ghosts, - another £500 you might need to get someone in to hold a seance, a ghost hunter or whatever. Lots of money, pocket it and leave him.

Or do you know a policeman who could call to the house - suspected hit & run matching car description - need details of his whereabouts, any alibi etc?

To be honest, could you really be bothered with the time & effort required for any of that. He's lying and cannot be trusted. You already know that.

OP have a think if you know anyone who works at the hotel, I reckon he told you for a reason, possibly because he was spotted. Could you go away, or pretend you're away for another night? Then see what happens. Do you have a tracker on his car (our car logs it's journeys on an app).

I fully agree its very suspicious, and so unlikely he was scared from what you say. for it to be believablethen id expect sn investigation by an electrician. It's the sort of thing I can see myself doing (but then I got stuck in waitrose once when I got scared of the car park and DH had to rescue me!)

This

call his bluff and say someone you know works at the hotel and told you he was not alone, and he has the chance to be honest or you will ask the person you know what they meant by that, say no more just that, Watch the reaction.

How recently was this? It's 6pm here and still completely daylight and has been since the clocks changed. For this to be true, he would have had to have got "spooked" at he latest 5.30, to give him time to book the hotel, pack a bag, and leave at 6pm. Why would he even have had the lights on at that time? I'm sorry, but no one flees their own house (in daylight) due to flickering lights and bad vibes, and then returns absolutely fine and dandy, never needing to mention the spooky evening again. It's such a blatant lie op. Sorry.

Yeah, right. The lights flickered, so he ran out of the house, terrified, drove 15 miles to a hotel, tripped up and accidentally fell into a prostitute's vag.

and he sent me a picture of him working

^

I think he doth protest too much

It does sound odd . It sounds ridiculous for a grown man to go and stay at a hotel because he’s scared !

But - he knows it’s odd so surely telling you would be weird, he would surely know it’s so out of character you would be suspicious. But then , men are stupid !

If he’s up to something , he’s got no common sense . I don’t really know how you get around this and find the truth . I would be as suspicious as you .

Does he often send you pictures of himself at work.
I tell you what I find the oddest thing,is him ringing you at 9 pm.
Something spooked 😂 him and he rang you.

I didn’t immediately think that it was dodgy. But the fact that you say he has used sex workers in the past - gross - makes me think that this could
be it. Something he probably wouldn’t even feel guilty about. Just a purchase, a financial transaction.

I’d be telling him that I’m calling electricians and the quotes are terrifying.

This.

if you have used these services before, It is probably much easier to do so again.

99% this is what he did and imagined he was spotted or was spotted. Thinks sticking to the near truth is the best bet. He thinks you are stupid or too busy to know better.

Do the thing I said about knowing someone who works there. Forget the PA suggestion, I reckon hotels are wise to that and steer clear of giving out info.

If I were spooked in my own house by lights flickering during daylight hours (I live alone next door to a graveyard, so I know what it's like to be suddenly spooked, but NOT during daylight) - the first thing I would do would be to stand outside the house and ring someone. I don't have a partner but I'd probably ring one of my adult kids. I'd be standing right outside the front door on the phone, saying 'there's something weird going on in the house, I have no idea what' and let them talk me down.
I would not be running to a hotel. For a start I wouldn't want to go round locking the doors, because it would mean being inside with IT.

He obviously suddenly remembered the Ring doorbell and realised you might see the footage so he had to pre-empt any questions. But he was too rushed to think up a credible story.

I read that in that MPs voice from Little Britain

"I tripped and accidentally penetrated him" 🤣

6pm ?? A grown man was scared at 6pm and left for a hotel and didn’t call you until 9 ? You would have thought he would have called you and told you what was going on and said I think I might stay out ?

Also - an overnight bag ? Would he not just sleep there and come back early ? He’s so scared that within an hour of speaking to you it’s happened , he’s got scared , he’s booked a hotel and packed a bag ?

It does sound very fishy to me x

This.

Also, it’s hugely unlikely that anyone would book a hotel room for an hour with a prozzy. It would be an affair.

Hey OP.

I'm a big burly bloke who doesn't get freaked out by much. I lived alone for a good few years, and it never bothered me particularly. Except for one sunny afternoon, where nothing in particular freaked me right the fuck out. A few funny noises, and something in a place it wasn't before.

I fucked off to the pub sharpish. And then pretended Id forgotten my keys so I had an excuse to stay with a mate. Went home the next day and was fine.

So it does happen, that people get freaked for no reason. However I don't blame you for finding your husband's story sus as fuck and it's definitely worth keeping an eye on.

This sounds really far fetched this terror at 6pm. But OP I am impressed by you. 99% of these types of posts are the OP's getting furious and back peddling defending the DH and explaining how there is no way it could be something seedy. Not you. It's hard but I get a feeling you will be fine.

Honestly, it’s just as bad news if it’s true. I couldn’t live with such an anxious wet wipe.

Doubtful, though.

I'd find this odd. If my DH did this (highly unlikely) and I asked where he'd gone, he'd just tell me, no big deal. Saying instead that that I should trust him would be peculiar.

Sounds dubious to me. Watch him like hawk for the next rendezvous

Of all the nights, why that one? And why only one?

The mind boggles.

Can you get a male friend to call the hotel and say "I stayed on X date and left my laptop under the bed could you just check I can't remember which room it was...."

Are you sure he was calling from a hotel? Do you have any proof he actually stayed at a hotel? Maybe he'd planned an overnighter somewhere all along, but only realised after he'd gone that the doorbell would reveal his absence?

Sadly, he's clearly lying, and I think you should suggest he looks into renting somewhere small and modern where he won't feel frightened living by himself. Good luck OP!

I think saying trust me is also projecting. If he wasn't doing anything wrong he wouldn't be thinking about trust.