DP suspicious hotel stay

[Rainbowismyfavouritecolour]

So I went away for a week on holiday with the children. DP stayed behind on his own as he had work. One evening after work he left the house and stayed at a reasonably local hotel because he got scared and felt like something was ‘off’ in the house. Apparently the lights were flickering (it’s an old house in the countryside) and he didn’t feel safe alone there.

He rang me from the hotel and we talked for about 5-10 minutes. He stayed one night and went home the next morning.

Now I think this seems really odd. AIBU to think something else went on?

YABU- this is normal behaviour
YANBU- his behaviour is suspicious

That’s so pathetic of him 😂

My ex DH was cheating on me and as he was leaving one night, I asked him where he was going, as he was packing his bag. (I’d already caught him out)

He told me that he was going swimming 😂
I said,
“Well, you’d better take your swimming shorts then!”
and flung them at him 😂

It was hilarious tbh. I pointed out that he wouldn’t even go swimming with me and didn’t like being on the beach barefoot due to an old injury.

(long story short; I eventually divorced him although it took 5 years in all. I remarried and have 2 DC. I know for a fact that he regrets it all and still loves me. But hey, he had several chances to come back.)

Yep, I'd do this. You need to know when the room was booked, whether single occupancy and what he drank/ate. Will tell you everything you need to know.

JIC make sure you use protection if you feel you want sex with him. I know not likely but things do happen unexpectedly.

If a story doesn’t make any sense it’s because it’s not true.

Call the hotel and ask details?

Do this OP!
I always feel like people should be given the opportunity.
Doesn’t sound like he will but you have the option to do this calmly and see what the response is.

It feels very strange that he’s booked a hotel and left so early on in the evening. Him phoning and chatting is him trying to make it sound normal but sounds like he’s covering for himself. I’d ask to see the booking and explain you’re having a hard time believing he was so scared at 6pm in the evening. Even if it was darker in your home, it wasn’t pitch black. I’d also point out he hasn’t been scared before or after this happened.

This is absolutely classic. 'If you loved me you wouldn't ask'' . "You don't trust me. I can't believe you are asking me for so many details" Yadda yadda. It's to shut the conversation down. If he was genuinely freaked out by something he would go on and on about it. He wouldn't want to be home alone if he really thought there were spirits. If he took a photo of himself doing something as mundane as working then surely he would have taken videos of the wooo stuff on his phone. A good friend of mine had a husband who paid sex workers and booked hotels to meet them. He was very 'present' on watts app before and after so she wouldn't think he was ignoring her. He has absolutely done something dodgy.

He has admitted in the past to using call girls before we met

Sounds like QED to me ...

Call the hotel and ask details?

The vast majority of hotels - or at least those with any common sense - won't disclose, knowing perfectly well that many of their guests will be married to someone else

Sorry @Rainbowismyfavouritecolour your husbands reasoning is dodgy as hell. I just read out your first post to my husband (sat next to me) and he pissed himself laughing. He said “At least come up with a slightly believable story like the heating wasn’t working and he was too cold!” No-one would believe a man would be scared of a flickering light at 6.30pm in the evening.

Well yes. I hate to say it OP as I can see you have children but, he’s a man who would use prostitutes 🤮

Suspicious OP. I wouldn’t trust him.

Maybe it's because you've got cameras he stayed in a hotel.

I'd go totally OTT over making him feel 'safe' in the house. I'd suggest that you need to call an electrician to check the house electrics, you are going to speak to neighbours to see if they had power cuts that night, you are also thinking of posting on the local Facebook page to see if others in the village have noticed anything strange. Act really, really, really spooked by this, tell him you won't rest until you get to the bottom of it. After all, it must have been TOTALLY terrifying if he needed to go to a hotel to feel safe ?

Sorry but your other half deserves to be believed. I am shit scared by my self and when my husband was away I would also have booked a night away if I could have.

Why is a night away any different if you’re too scared to be on your own?

When I had an affair, the only time we forgot to spend a night together was in a hotel when his wife went away. We only ever did it once.

Hmm. To leave at 6pm with a bag packed, having made a last minute booking, the spookiness would have had to be slightly earlier, between 5pm when he was at his desk and when he went out, say between 5.15 and 5.45.

As he’d just been messaging you I wonder why he did not text and say “I’ve just seen a huge green flash and some ectoplasm. I’m getting the fuck out of here. Do you know where my travel toothbrush is?”

Not forgot, that was meant to say got!

I hope he's looking forward to a lifetime of celibacy now.

Can you serious entertain the idea of having sex with a man who was terrified to be alone in his own home at 6pm on a spring evening? Can you?

I could never have sex with him again.

Say your going away again and then follow him, the only way for you to find out what he is up to. Wig, scarf and sunglasses 🕶

Does he have anxiety?

I have to admit that for the first time in my life last year (started in 22' but carried on until April last year) I kept calling my mum to come and stay with me at night.
I'm 44 this year and have 3 kids of my own but I had a lot of health issues at the time and my anxiety was out of control. I lost about 3 stone in 3-4 months as I wasn't eating.

I think you have the answer in view of his past behaviour. Sorry, OP, he sounds appalling.

Hooves = horses, right?

Anyone else think it’s weird he was spooked but still packed a fucking wheely suitcase?

If I was scared and doing a runner I’d have grabbed the bare minimum and chucked it in a carrier bag….