DP suspicious hotel stay

[Rainbowismyfavouritecolour]

So I went away for a week on holiday with the children. DP stayed behind on his own as he had work. One evening after work he left the house and stayed at a reasonably local hotel because he got scared and felt like something was ‘off’ in the house. Apparently the lights were flickering (it’s an old house in the countryside) and he didn’t feel safe alone there.

He rang me from the hotel and we talked for about 5-10 minutes. He stayed one night and went home the next morning.

Now I think this seems really odd. AIBU to think something else went on?

YABU- this is normal behaviour
YANBU- his behaviour is suspicious

I may be able to find a way to access his hotel booking account and see if he did actually book it and any more information on it. I’ll just have to bide my time until I have the opportunity.

Scared at 6pm? Really?

I live on my own in a rough area and never once have I contemplated booking into a hotel because I have woken and heard suspicious noises and believe me, I have! What a bizarre tale.

Except I know of someone booking for one and sneaking someone in plus messaging their spouse when their lover was laid next to them.

it's not looking great@Rainbowismyfavouritecolour but you seem to have your head screwed on.

How stupid does he think you are?

How utterly demeaning that he thinks you're SO stupid that you'll believe this absolute bollocks

Can you access his computer if not his phone? When he's asleep ideally, so his phone doesn't flag it up. If he booked the hotel any time earlier than he claims to have gotten spooked, that's pretty straightforward.

Sorry sadly yes sounds dodgy

I like the idea of saying you saw someone in garden and Contact police and they want more info

Don't use an ear ring! Say it was a work doc or bank card or something as you have the same name as well!

I agree with this OP, I'm sorry.

Stupid people tend to assume that others are stupid too.

You're not. You know this is a pile of crap.

Admitted in the past to using prostituted women

Clearly he called you and then hired one

Dump him

Sounds very suspicious/ strange. My first thought was he saw someone at the hotel who may mention it to you, so he got in their first with an excuse of why he had to go. What man would book a hotel because a light is flickering🙄

Surely he could have just dropped the internet at home so the doorbell wouldn’t have recorded🤷‍♀️

Hmm...if he sent you a photo of himself at his desk earlier on, why didn't he send you a picture of the hotel room, or a video even. It all sounds very suspicious to me too 🤔

I mean why bother? It's clearly nonsense. 6pm? Scared? Cobblers.

And He has admitted in the past to using call girls before we met.

He's not a nice person. Have you read the recent AMA by a sex worker? Consent can't be bought. If he's called you at 9m it does sound like a professional.

Do you have kids? Sorry if I missed it!

100% this!!!

OP. You could also mention that a friend was at that hotel the same night. /someone he doesn't know but may recognise him from your photos. And just leave it at that! He will squirm if he isn't guilty. If he says anything you can just say she said it had a lovely restaurant etc

If he is guilty!

He went to a hotel because he was scared of ghosts?

Men are such dicks, like you're going to believe that bollocks

It is crap… imo
You were away so he took the opportunity to do something dodgy and is now treating you as though you are an idiot.
If it was a prostitute he saw then they’d have no qualms with him messaging you while with them.
But, I too know of a man messaging his wife from a hotel room while lover by his side fully aware.
So could have been either above scenario.

This is probably obviously but don’t engage in any sort of sexual activity with him until you’ve got to the bottom of this.

assuming he is cheating or has cheated with whomever, the ring doorbell would have been the deterrent from bringing said person to yours.

Hope you can find out what actually happened on this night you deserve to know x

Megifer
Or....play him at his own game with an equally bizarre story.

tell him you thought you saw someone in the garden, so you've logged it with the police online and mentioned DH feeling unsafe and they called you back asking for specifics about the lights that spooked DH e.g. times, which hotel did he go to, does he think anyone followed him.....because they have had similar reports from others in the area reporting weird house shit and then being followed but nothing they could follow up, this is the first time someone's said they have been somewhere that might have cctv or witnesses etc.....

Pleaaaseee do this! Megifer you are genius!

😌

It doesn’t even get dark until about 9pm at the moment so how did he notice the lights were flickering before 6pm? I smell a 🐀.

The mere fact that he's shutting you down from asking questions should be enough of a red flag here. If it was as innocent as he says it was, then he'd have been giving you details of what was going on in the house, to make him leave for the night!
But, I have to ask, for my own curiosity, is your house creepy and have you ever "felt" anything in there yourself?
I'm sorry hon, but he's spinning you a line here. 💐

OP I will tell you this. I had an affair with an old boyfriend when we were in our early 30s (we had been together several years in our late teens / early 20s). I'd him for dinner when he was in London (where I lived and he didn't) and would spend the night with him in his hotel room. This went on/ off for a few years as well. He did once or twice make a brief call to his wife when I was there in the room, he sounded totally normal and told her he loved her etc. I'm not putting this here because I'm in any way proud of our behavior, I'm not. This is just to say what can be the situation in some instances.