DP suspicious hotel stay

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So I went away for a week on holiday with the children. DP stayed behind on his own as he had work. One evening after work he left the house and stayed at a reasonably local hotel because he got scared and felt like something was ‘off’ in the house. Apparently the lights were flickering (it’s an old house in the countryside) and he didn’t feel safe alone there.

He rang me from the hotel and we talked for about 5-10 minutes. He stayed one night and went home the next morning.

Now I think this seems really odd. AIBU to think something else went on?

YABU- this is normal behaviour
YANBU- his behaviour is suspicious

Exactly what I said. Clear as day.

Hook-up or prostitute. 100%.

I'd be contacting the hotel and asking about a booking for Mr DH, and concocting a story that would identify if he was alone or with someone. However, for your sake, I hope this suspicious activity really is innocent.

YANBU

If the house was scaring him, why didnt he invite you and the kids to the hotel??
Hes got another woman. definitely

There does not need to be game playing- a very straightforward “ I just don’t buy your story, I think you cheated on me” or similar is more than adequate. There is no need for anything else. I agree the story is odd and would make me highly suspicious that he had been up to something (and given limited reasons for going to a hotel overnight, the conclusion is somewhat inevitable.

However, I think the number of posts being derogatory about a man being scared of something is unpleasant (though “I was frightened so went elsewhere” is an unlikely explanation in this particular case), I think attempting to belittle someone for “being a wuss” is utterly shitty behaviour. I find it fairly puerile that women would suggest a man being scared of something is “unmanly” or a failure in some way, or makes him “less than” says quite a lot about you as a person. And I think that would be a very unattractive trait too.

Will you have the guts OP to say no to sex with him ? I mean possible call girls ?

If not that then a hook up site . While the cats away ahy.

I wouldn’t let him near me and I’d also be up front and say why .
Why don’t you feel strong enough to stand up to him?
He’s told you some stupid story knowing fine well you couldn’t prove he was lying . He doesn’t care if your hurt or that he’s disrespecting you .
If he had nothing to hide he would prove to you even if it did annoy him .

I don’t trust your husband and I’d find the strength to l leave if i were you .

If something looks, walks and sounds like a duck, then it's a duck.

This looks like he booked a prostitute and needed a 'ring doorbell' excuse and could only come up with something so unbelievable that not only is it insulting to you to ask you to believe it - it shows a woeful lack of imagination on his part.

Oh do give over!
It was 6pm...it was light still!
I would call anyone a wuss if they were scared of a ghost in daylight hours...

He's used prostitutes in the past? Sorry OP, but looks like it's happening again. Men buying sex is all about self-deception and double lives and self-interest, so why wouldn't he be deceiving you? Sounds appalling, I'm sorry you have a husband like this. Your self-esteem must be at rock bottom to have married and had children with such a man. You and your kids deserve better.

He’s lying and telling you not to ask about it again is suspect.
If he had a penchant for escorts in the past I certainly wouldn’t be trusting him.
He was probably just covering his back with the pathetic scared story.

Why would it be a prostitute though? Surely he could just go out in the evening and be back later for that and not tell you at all? Spending the whole night away and making up a stupid story is a very risky strategy for spending an hour or two with a prostitute?

isn’t it more likely he spent the night with someone, or went to a sex club or something like that? Why go to the effort of packing an overnight bag just to sit in a hotel overnight doing nothing.

Well obviously he couldn't have a woman over if there's a chance she could be spotted on the door camera or by a neighbour.

Bit amateur to go to a local hotel though;looks like someone recognised him there.

Just read your comment about using call girls in the past;it sounds more than likely he slept with someone.

Because he wanted to do it in a hotel, and I don't think it's easy to book your average Premier Inn by the hour. Once you've paid for it, you might as well stay for the buffet breakfast.

I reckon he did it on a whim and didn't really stop to think that he'd have to explain leaving the house. He panicked and said something incredible when he realised op would see him leaving and coming back the next morning.

Never heard so much bollocks in my life. Of course he was seeing someone and needed a good cover story in case someone saw him there. He's taken you for a mug, OP!

That itself is suspicious. As is his secretive behaviour in general.

Remember we don’t know he stayed in that hotel or indeed any hotel. The only thing the OP know for sure is when he left and returned and that he had an overnight bag. He could have spent the night at someone’s house or in a hotel in a different city .

Wouldn’t the normal response be going to a mates house or relatives?

Absolutely agree. Don’t be brushed off and told you’re paranoid - this is just too ridiculous for words from a grown man unless perhaps he is of a very sensitive nature or ND.

get onto the account details, call and ask for a receipt for expenses but regardless, I’d be telling him he can move back to the hotel until he has the decency to tell the truth.

If he did actually tell this dubious story...... well then OP you must surely have come across equally daft explanations from him for other things in his life. No one could be that stupid as to make up a story like that, too ridiculous to be believed IMV.

So, with his history of playing around, and god knows what else, has he ever come up with other ridiculous excuses to stay elsewhere now and then?

The situation is so unbelievable to me, so OP do YOU believe him? Has the idiot form for this type of idiocy and why would he think you'd believe him straight off.

You have two options in my view.

A) Blow your cover & totally lose it because you know the story is bollocks OR

B) Say nothing, let him believe you accepted the scaredy cat story and snoop like your life depends on it. Phone bills, card statements, Google history the lot. Get all your evidence then let him have it.

Personally, I'd lean towards B.

In no world does a light flickering at 6pm mean you go onto a website and book a hotel, pack a bag and leave the house.

Do we know for sure that he actually went to the hotel? Could have gone anywhere.

Even if you felt scared, you'd ring your partner first, before giving up a free nights sleep for a more expensive one.

Preposterous.

THIS! He's a serial rapist.

I'm thinking drugs. Didn't want to risk you seeing him or finding any evidence, so the hotel was preferable.

Would he suspect that you’d check OP ? If so, why would that bother him ? Does he have form for cheating because it feels as though there’s something unsaid.