DP suspicious hotel stay

[Rainbowismyfavouritecolour]

So I went away for a week on holiday with the children. DP stayed behind on his own as he had work. One evening after work he left the house and stayed at a reasonably local hotel because he got scared and felt like something was ‘off’ in the house. Apparently the lights were flickering (it’s an old house in the countryside) and he didn’t feel safe alone there.

He rang me from the hotel and we talked for about 5-10 minutes. He stayed one night and went home the next morning.

Now I think this seems really odd. AIBU to think something else went on?

YABU- this is normal behaviour
YANBU- his behaviour is suspicious

It does seem suspicious. It's such a random reason and the ring doorbell makes it more likely he would need to make an excuse for being out all night.

Wow, I actually thought you may be being unreasonable until I read it was 6pm when he was scared about ghosts 😄 🤣 I get weird when I'm alone and its late but this is ridiculous. I would a million percent be suspicious.

The fact that he has form for seeing sex workers feels like something to have mentioned to us much higher up the thread tbh

Maybe he picked something that made him sound vulnerable so you'd feel sorry for him.....and not question him.

YANBU

He's got a history of seeing call girls.
and also a present and a future seeing them too it sounds like.
He doesn't let you in his phone or computer or see his bank statements? I know some couples are very independent like this, but hmmm, wonder why he doesn't want you looking at those things.

I'd be amazed if it was the first time or the last.

He goes to a hotel because he doesn't want to order an escort in the family home because that would feel weird, but wants one for "old time's sake" and doesn't want to miss the opportunity while you are away. Either someone saw him there or he worried they might, so he needed to come up with a reason why he was there.

It's the most laughable reason I've ever heard. It sounds like a story a 4 year old would tell about a naughty dog (you wouldn't know him, he goes to a different school) climbing in the window and eating all the cake, while the 4-year-old has chocolate crumbs all over his face.

If the light flickered I'd turn the light off. Or tighten the bulb up. Or if I was feeling really flush I'd ring an electrician to come take a look the following day. I wouldn't run off to a hotel because Casper was playing with the fixtures. Utterly ridiculous.

Oh and if a week was too long to be without sex, could he not just have a w*nk like normal people?

On the other hand, if he was up to something, why would he go to a local hotel rather than somewhere where he could virtually guarantee not meeting anyone he knows? After all, if he was with a woman there would still be a substantial danger that they would be seen together.

Snort. Unless you actually live in Amityville of course.

Commiserations OP. Does sound well dodge.

I like the idea of going full on woo with him though. Going viral on SM, getting the local press interested perhaps, and getting psychic mediums etc in. Or plan to charge for paranormal investigators to do overnighters (you can both decamp to the hotel then,). Maybe do some in depth research into the property. If you can unearth a tragedy involving infidelity then so much the better.....

But seriously have a hug x some men are idiots x

It makes me laugh that anyone is gullible enough to believe this, but it's hilarious that this was the best he could come up with!

The fact he has history of paying for sex (in itself so grim) and you go away and he hops off to a hotel, yes he was cheating in some form or another.

Sorry OP, sounds like the kind of absolute bollocks that my ex would come out with as a 'cover story'.
I mean it's so ridiculous that you might just think no one would think to make it up and believe it.

There's a lot more believable reasons why you would spend a night in a hotel when you lived locally.
Power cut - turn off the WiFi so no ring doorbell to make it believable, boiler broke down and he got it fixed before you came home, car broke down near hotel and the tow truck was going to be next morning so he slept in the nearby hotel than walk home, met a mate there for dinner and had too many to drive home.

Sounds like a last minute thing to me, someone he knows saw and recognised him and he had to try and cover his arse.

You could try ringing and saying that you are doing some admin/tax stuff and need a receipt for the booking on x night under x name because he stayed for work reasons, but he can't remember the room number and ask them to send a copy of the booking and receipt to your email address - they might not because of GDPR but it might be worth a try.

I'm sorry OP, it sucks.

Fishy

I wouldn't want to have sex with him if he's been shagging someone random

I wouldn't want to have sex with a man who thinks paying to rape is ok.

Maybe he wasn't sure whether a haunted object or location. He disposed of possible haunted object en route, then stayed out of the house at night just to be sure... but turns out it WAS the object, so now everybody's safe.

Our house is "haunted" ds hears lots of weird things. Really bloody weird. He's stayed home alone and been fine while hearing the bifold doors bang open, someone walk in and throw keys on the dinning table below his room ( spoiler - he was alone) and not even phone me. He is 16...

Also I know everyone's different and not defined by their sex / gender, but almost all the men I know say they would "drop kick" the Grudge if they saw her. Not run away to a localish hotel. Weirdly not my dad, who can be quite nervy and superstitious - if it were him who'd booked the hotel, I'd believe him. Only you know your DH / DP.

Because you don't have access to his email or phone I just think you need to catch him out with something equally ludicrous. You can get flicker bulbs, I'd be replacing a few and when they flicker say you're scared and suggest staying at that hotel he stayed at and see what he does!

This

It's terribly odd, but...I don't know that it is suspicious. Does he have a belief in the paranormal? If so, it becomes almost understandable.

The whole thing is just so ott:
The reason given for not being able to stay in the home.
The fact he was only so worried not to just on one evening/night.
That he was so careful to give op evidence of him working/ evidence he was in the hotel room alone.
It's like a farce. He must think OP was born yesterday.
All this on top of his previous use of sex workers.
I'd be inclined just to ask him if he really thought I was stupid? I don't think I'd care what his response was because for me the relationship would be over.

Well yes, agreed - but the point I was making was regarding potential STDs rather than a moral judgement.

Now look. I’m a reasonably well adjusted bloke but I’d never have stayed alone in the old isolated farm house I grew up in so I absolutely get it that the OP’s partner did what he did given the circumstances.

I don't think cameras and security deal with the supernatural... .

This story of his has more holes in than a moth eaten jumper!

Yes but a lot of people, including myself, don't believe in the supernatural.

Ive been shit scared in my old house to the point I had a mental breakdown. I heard voices whispering and banging in the loft.
It turned out I'd been hallucinating due to work stress and was diagnosed with PTSD.
Could he be mentally ill triggered by something? I read 10% of people have had hallucinations from stress related problems. I think that's a huge amount of people.

Sounds like someone has cheated no one runs out their house to a hotel if their scared ridiculous