DP suspicious hotel stay

[Rainbowismyfavouritecolour]

So I went away for a week on holiday with the children. DP stayed behind on his own as he had work. One evening after work he left the house and stayed at a reasonably local hotel because he got scared and felt like something was ‘off’ in the house. Apparently the lights were flickering (it’s an old house in the countryside) and he didn’t feel safe alone there.

He rang me from the hotel and we talked for about 5-10 minutes. He stayed one night and went home the next morning.

Now I think this seems really odd. AIBU to think something else went on?

YABU- this is normal behaviour
YANBU- his behaviour is suspicious

So presumably he'll get the electricians out immediately or maybe ghostbusters or a sympathetic priest? Or a clump of sage?

I was thinking the same. It's perfectly possible to speak to your spouse whilst waiting for your affair partner or paid for sex worker to arrive, or whilst they're in the room getting ready for the evening's activities.

Yes, I agree.

Cheating

This

Just say I know - pack your bags on repeat.

Grey rock.

This is the clincher to the bullshit story...

Is he an Adrian Monk type of chap?

But surely he knows that you wouldn’t check this though - no one would randomly check the ring door bell.

He could have even turned the door bell off and come and gone as much as he pleased or had a woman stay round the entire week.

He could have either not told you or made up a better excuse.

I think I believe him simply because if he was up to no good he would either not tell you or make up a better excuse.

BUT… it’s still light now so why did he have lights on pre 6pm to?

👻

What time does he finish work?

If he usually finishes at 5pm that’s quite a short amount of time between finishing work and getting so spooked that you leave the house with your bag packed.

He got back at 8:30 the next morning, did he work from home? So whatever had freaked him out had gone? That’s convenient.
We also live in a fairly dark house so use lamps in the daytime sometimes. If they were flickering at 6pm then surely mr ghost would still be having a disco in the morning? Why was it safe to go back?

Ask to see his bank statement/credit card statement

Good idea

He's speaking utter shit OP as you well know.

Nope , when someone has done something strange it is on them to prove it wasn't dodgy not on the other person to trust.

Or demand to see it

If he wants to reassure you and save your marriage he should be willing to show you his bank and credit card statements.

is there any proof at all he stayed in a hotel? He only SAID he did…

Erm I'd be tempted to say this is true as its such a bizzare story.

Do you live in Enfield by any chance?

Are we going to see your house on most haunted soon? Chairs floating in the air, things flying across the room, you crawling on the ceiling!

Has he cheated before or anything to make you suspicious?

My guy wouldn't stay in a house if he thought there ghosts. Although he doesn't believe he says its all made up to be honest.

I know it's not funny but I keep giggling when I think about this as it's the most ridiculous excuse I've ever heard.

You do sound like you've got your head screwed on OP. I hope you get the answers you deserve.

Please dont call a receptionist that deals with dozens of customers every day about a lost earring & base your suspicions on wether she/they gets confused or can't find the right room because it's in your husbands name!

Just accept it was a weird dodgy thing for your husband to do & press him on it if you feel your being lied to or skirted around

This is literally the worst cheating excuse I've ever heard. Especially since he's admitted to using prostitutes in the past.

Don't worry about catching him, I would run.

Is he the father or your kids?

He was so scared, at 6pm, that he packed an overnight bag, booked a hotel and went? At 6pm? Because of flickering lights?

Honestly? What a crock of shit.

The fact that he has used prostitutes in the past is the deal breaker for me. I suspect that is what he was doing, so the booking may well only be in his name.

Just looking at cold, hard facts:

He has used prostitues in the past
You are away
His ghost story doesn't add up (daylight) and does not fit with his personality
Of course he called you - he wanted to give you the half truth to hide the full truth
A call at 9pm because woman was booked for 10pm
Shutting you down every time you try to bring it up.

I mean... really?

OP, i don't think you will get to the bottom of it via your H as he has already established secrecy around banks and mobiles nad laptops. I would honestly consider going to hotel, finding a nice female member of staff, telling her your concerns and ask if she can check records / cctv. Of course this is probably against company policy but you might get lucky.

Good luck.

This is the first time I hear something like that.
And if it's an excuse because someone saw him,
then he must be very stupid.
😕