Male Nursery Staff

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My child is in Nursery after my return to work. They nursery chain have been hiring make staff recently. My child's nursery has 3 male staff.

My daughter's nappy was changed by a male member of staff. For my own personal reasons I feel upset about this but not sure if I can even say or do anything. I just don't like it.

*child sex abuse

Other forms of child abuse are either equal among the sexes or more heavily female (depending on the statistics)

You’re comparing apples and oranges.

If Muslims or Jews were responsible committing 98% of sexual assaults, then I might not send my child to the local mosque or synagogue for pre school. They’re not, so it’s irrelevant.

Was just wondering what the heck I'd said to be deleted then but realised it's because I quoted one that's been deleted 😁

Again just making stuff up. Nurses murdering children is vanishingly rare with one recent exception being so horrific precisely because it is so rare.
Mothers killing their own children is more common but in almost all cases there's a history of mental health problems, mothers from neglectful or abusive backgrounds, poverty, involvement of abusive or violent men, lack of support. Most of the women are already known to services. It doesn't just randomly happen. And of course it's mainly women who have care of young children. The kinds of women who end up killing their own children are not likely to be working in childcare.

If you're not happy, move your child.

Personally, as an early years specialist myself, I'm always delighted to see men in early years.

Anyone can be an abuser. Childcare settings have policies and procedures in place to avoid employing abusers and to avoid there being opportunity in a situation where an abuser does get a job there. At our nursery adults were rarely alone with a child, ratios and it being a busy environment meant there were always people coming and going all over the place.

OP should either remove their child and find a setting where they are happy with all the staff (good luck keeping up with staff changes) or visit and ask to see the change situation and policy. Perhaps she could request that her child only be changed when there are 2 members of staff available to sign off on it (but that would lead to her child not always being changed immediately).

Exactly.

I’m not going to pretend that my son’s keyworker is a monster just because he’s a man or lie and say he’s bad at his job.

Anyone can be an abuser. Statistically, it’s far far more likely to be a man. The risk of it being a female is much lower.

I make my children wear helmets on their bikes and scooters at the park because, statistically, small children wobble around and could hit their heads. I don’t make them wear helmets when they’re walking around the park. The risk of them sustaining a head injury walking is much lower than if they’re on wheels.

I'm not making things up

Mothers are more likely to kill their child than fathers and rates of abuse are about the same

And there are plenty of stories on here about people complaining about abuse from female nurses and nursery staff (not changing nappies, feeding them food they aren't allowed, letting children hit each other...)

This is a completely ridiculous reaction and this is not a normal level of anxiety.

Out of interest, in a care home - do you think female residents should have the right to request a female carer for intimate care needs or not? Is that discrimination?

Yes I do. If I am seeing a medic with a personal problem I ask for a female so in a care home I'd want the same option.

We have the same rule for male and female teachers.
Either sex can change nappies or help with intimate care in the setting.
However, regardless of their sex there must be two staff members present throughout this time and the door of the room being used must be open, whilst still giving the child some privacy whilst undressed.

We would never have just I've member of staff doing intimate care - for their own safeguarding not just for the child's.

But re the op - the bottom line is simple. Your child's nursery has male staff, seemingly a number of them. At present they are allowed to,do intimate care, as would be expected of nursery staff.

If you don't like this then you need to find alternative childcare. You could perhaps look for a female childminder where she is the only one providing the care.

OP I think that unfortunately a potentially serious issue has got lost here in a lot of politicising about men's rights, and a lot of (willful) naivety. Your baby is in a nursery that has taken on an influx of male staff. People are not beating down the doors to take on usually minimum wage childcare roles, so there is no guarantee that every staff member of either sex will be the optimum well trained professional people on here are imagining. Such is the market that many nurseries take who they can get and amongst that number will be people who aren't diligent with procedures.
They will have background checks, but a clear one means only that no one has been caught. Which is why extra safeguarding in terms of double staffing and visible areas is important. Your nursery is not reliable about either.
In addition you are getting a 'bad feeling' about a carer. I suspect if your 'bad feeling' had been that your child's female key worker seemed disinterested/distracted you would have got very different responses. But you are not allowed to have bad feelings about men on this thread, because that's 'discrimination'.
Ultimately this is your baby and you need to put her first. Personally I'd raise my concerns with the nursery about changing procedures and if not happy with the response I'd be looking elsewhere.

What makes me sad about this is the implication is that no man can ever take on a role of caring for young children, be they paediatric nurse, nursery worker, primary school teacher, doctor, surgeon etc. Loads of Mumsnet posts show that too many men don't see childcare as a primary responsibility of theirs - one reason may be becasue the system excludes them. The exclusion of men from these areas also means that children often have no male care figure in their lives.

Obviously, safeguarding is vital, and checks need to be rigorous, but excluding men from the care of young children is just nuts.