Male Nursery Staff

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My child is in Nursery after my return to work. They nursery chain have been hiring make staff recently. My child's nursery has 3 male staff.

My daughter's nappy was changed by a male member of staff. For my own personal reasons I feel upset about this but not sure if I can even say or do anything. I just don't like it.

So, you agree that men are a riskier prospect around children than women but it is too harmful to admit it because that belief is outdated?

but this is insane!! it's not 'outdated' to say that men are a much MUCH higher risk to children, than women. Men haven't stopped offending since the 50s, so why would we pretend that they have? for the sake of 'equality'? that ISN'T what equality is about

No, that's not what I said at all if you read it again.
I said the attitude women to be at home as they're the caring ones and men to be away from looking after children as they're incapable or potential paedos is a harmful outdated attitude.
You're putting your spin on what I said.

I own a nursery. I would never in a million years allow a male member of staff to change a nappy. That’s for everyone’s protection, by the way, including his.

I suppose I might be accused of discrimination, but I can put up with that. Funnily enough, no one has ever complained, mind you.

I just said that children are safer in the care of women more generally. This is true. You added all the other stuff to it. It's not my job to say what people should or shouldn't do or what risks they should accept. I'm just mapping out the clear and inconvenient difference.

Like I say, parents don't have to put their assessment of risk through an equality lens. They can choose a different childcare provider - and I think we agree on that point. And it's not your place to demand that they ignore the facts under their nose when the make that informed decision.

If it's primarily sexual abuse that people are worried about then all nurseries should be operating in a way that makes this impossible. It's a long time since DS was at nursery but I assume this happens anyway. I wouldn't be particularly worried about males changing nappies if it's in a communal area, with other staff present.

Other than that, nursery aged children should have intersections with both male and female staff. Unfortunately there's no guarantee that female staff are always going to harm the little ones in their care.

An excellent policy.

Are you planning to shelter DD from males forever?

There’s a difference between not wanting your children around men and not wanting non-verbal small children to undertake intimate care tasks.

We allow adults to choose if they would prefer the same sex nurse or doctor.

Maybe there's a difference for you, but some on the thread think men shouldn't be caring for children at all, regardless of whether they're non verbal or not.

Yes until she's old enough to speak for herself.

So you'd be ok with your primary age school child being looked after by a male doctor if in hospital, or if at school?

Yes because she won't be on her own with a doctor and a male teacher won't be anywhere near her in terms of toileting.

Alternatively the famous quote often discussed in law "lies, damn lies and statistics" meaning be careful of your sources look at who has published them, consider their motives.

So your only concerned about sexual risks not all risks.....in a nursery children are most at risk from non sexual abuse....being neglected, shouted at, hit, left unfed, dirty etc. at home their are more cases of sexual abuse.
Why is maternal fear around children so focused on sexual abuse.

I wouldn’t allow my daughter to be intimately examined by a male doctor without my presence nor would I change her nappy in front of male family members such as grandfather or uncle. So neither would I have been happy with a male nursery worker changing her nappy.

It’s not men working in those environments that’s the problem. I fully encourage men in a daycare setting. It’s the INTIMATE care that’s the issue. In care homes for the elderly, women are allowed to request no male workers for their intimate care and it’s not a problem. Men still work there, it doesn’t stop them doing the job just because they refrain from doing some women’s intimate care. So why is it an issue for so many people on here when it comes to a nursery? Especially when children are unable to give consent.

J@shattereddreams1

You've put it much better then me, this is what I mean. It's the intimate care thing I have a problem with not them actually working there.

It should always be in the presence of others. Safeguarding should never be lax just because a woman is doing the caring.

My sons keyworker is male and I’m happy for him to change nappies. He’s just doing his job.

@shattereddreams1 to be honest I find it very strange that you would not change your child's nappy in front of her Grandad. Do you ask him to leave the room? Does that mean your child can't be babysat by Grandad at all for fear of a dirty nappy. I think that's really sad for both your child and their grandfather.

It's true men are more likely to rape and kill but have there been many cases where a male nursery nurse has raped or killed a female?
I really don't get the I don't want a random man changing my child but am fine for a random female to do it.
Anyone is a risk to your child.
Pay and conditions in early years are awful, there is only one reason why anyone goes in to that job. I'll let you work out the reason.

I’d be withdrawing my child. No way on God’s Green Earth should men be toileting and changing babies and toddlers. Withdraw your child immediately.

You stalked a staff members social media, and he is the creepy one?

Okay.

I’ve also worked with male teachers in KS1 - but in all cases, they deferred to a female to change a child, or left the class if girls were changing for PE.

I would hope that, unless a child needs specific help, by KS1 no teacher was watching any child change...

Even their own kids?

You can't leave thirty children unsupervised.
Not enough time or space for individual changing.
Generally teachers do light admin/behaviour management whilst children are getting changed by KS2 (a surprising number of children need help before then)