To ask for the biggest CV fails you've come across?

[Kidulthood2027]

Have just realised I've been sending off a CV with a sentence that reads "I undertook regular security checks of the hotel during evening shits." I had meant to say "shifts". I thought I had proofread the CV thoroughly before sending it off, but clearly not enough. I was wondering why I was receiving so little interest for basic retail/food service jobs. Absolutely mortified. Any stories to make me feel better? Can be from you or from CVs you have reviewed during your working life.

Yep - though I am dyslexic which doesn't help.

Recently been told there's a text to speech button in word - makes spotting/hearing errors much easier. (Also help kids with language homework as can change language and it reads though in the language - helps them prepare and practise talks)

I only remember one on my submitted CV despite having family read though - I'd been doing a temp job while pg and being on time and professional meant hirer was thrilled with me small job had last few years been bane of her life due to staff given it- she quietly pointed it out on leaving to help me - it was minor and she was being nice but mortifying.

one chap boasted that he had ‘exposed himself to people across the business on a regular basis’ 🤣

Not a CV but I did once sign off an email "King Retards" instead of Kind Regards which was fairly awful!

😆😆

Oooo, I’d have hired him…love a good bit of stats😍

"In my capacity as a killer whale" has absolutely buckled me. Bravo 😂

Genius,why did I never think to use this for proofing.
i spent 8 weeks doing reverse some years ago,when I broke my elbow and had to dictate very thing…just never occurred to me to use it other way round 🤦‍♀️

One came in to me and the heading (obviously the very first line on the page) "Curriculum Vitae" was spelt incorrectly.

That went in the bin!

I don't understand your comment about sports and extracurricular activities in CVs from candidates aged 40+. Could you explain please?

I was going to say the CV's that go to the bottom of the pile quickly are the ones that say they have excellent attention to detail, yet contain very blatant errors that a software spellchecker would have picked up on!

Many CVs come to us from recruitment agents nowadays, so unfortunately I now no longer know whether a CV is poor because of how the agent has put it into their format or whether they have just copied and pasted an already poorly written CV.

@JohnSt1

It's not common practice to put hobbies etc in a CV. This is even more true for older candidates, who should hopefully have enough experience that they wouldn't be able to fit it in anyway!

It also opens up the door for bias/discrimination. If you put Manchester United in there and they support Arsenal... or you like fishing and they were cheated on by Captain Birdseye.

Not me or even a C.V, but an ex colleague of mine sent me a link to his website for his new consultancy business. Included in his list of expertise was proof reading. His web site was full of spelling and grammatical errors. As well as inconsistencies in type face, use of logos etc. I felt like a teacher going through it with a red pen. He was mortified when I emailed him back with a list of changes he needed to make. I jokingly sent him an invoice for proof reading with his going rate.

😂😂😂That just made me laugh out loud!

I read one in which the sender claimed to have spent "three years in a collage".

We've had some bonkers applicants for advertised jobs too though.

1. A secretarial job requiring audio typing skills - application from a guy with no secretarial experience who earned his money as a DJ (perhaps wearing earphones for both roles was seen as the minimum skill required?)
2. Professional role based in the London suburbs, very clearly listed as an on site job. Application from a wildly underqualified candidate in Saudi Arabia who made it clear he had no intention of moving to the UK then got offended when we said thanks but no thanks!

years ago I applied for a job through an agent, he provided my cv to the employer but in his wisdom decided to edit it first to make it more role specific. He did not tell me this!
The interviewer left me in an empty room with a red pen and asked me to circle every error ‘I’ had made. I was so embarrassed until I saw the version she had. Luckily I had an original hard copy in my bag so I was able to demonstrate that a) I could spot the errors and b) I didn’t make them. I also told them I didn’t have the experience that had been added. I did get the job but I was furious with the idiot who did it. He nearly cost me a job. She only interviewed me because she knew my brother!
I’ve tried to cut people a bit of slack since… they may not be the source of the idiocy..

😅🤣. Although you could be doing some level of security check whilst shitting.

I sent a recipe for mango and king prawn curry once instead of attaching my CV.
Dragged the wrong pdf onto my email and hit send without checking like a prat.

Omg that is hilarious 🤣 Did you at least get an interview?

I work in science publishing and lots of places have house style to use 5 g, or 5g or 5<thin space>g. I wouldn't count this as wrong unless it was an editor/copywriter and they had been given a house style.

I'm reviewing CV's at the minute and a good 25% must truly not want to work, they are complete crap. One in particular spent half the first paragraph of her CV describing how she enjoys making vegetable smoothies with her children. Wtf that has to do with a junior financial role I don't know.

Properly laughed at the killer whale though 🤣

a good 25% must truly not want to work, they are complete crap

Do people need to make job applications to keep their benefits? If so, that might be the case for some of them. I'm not benefits bashing, I believe most people on benefits deserve them, but this wouldn't be completely unheard of. Even genuine jobseekers might be forced to make up the numbers if there just aren't enough jobs that they genuinely want, and in that position I wouldn't waste any extra time or energy on the application.

It wasn't a CV mistake but a secretary at my firm - huge, global, serious, hierarchical corporate organisation - was arranging a meeting with the massive bigwigs from across the world.

Up to a point she'd been liaising with these bigwigs' secretaries but now she had to send the agenda email to all the actual bigwigs themselves. She triple checked that email before she sent it. Confident that there were no errors, she sent it.

In it, she confirmed that the meeting would be held under Queensbury Rules 😂😂😂😂

She meant Chatham House Rule.

Maybe she was spoiling for a fight?