To ask for the biggest CV fails you've come across?

[Kidulthood2027]

Have just realised I've been sending off a CV with a sentence that reads "I undertook regular security checks of the hotel during evening shits." I had meant to say "shifts". I thought I had proofread the CV thoroughly before sending it off, but clearly not enough. I was wondering why I was receiving so little interest for basic retail/food service jobs. Absolutely mortified. Any stories to make me feel better? Can be from you or from CVs you have reviewed during your working life.

I'm an editor by trade so super paranoid about typos and errors in my CVs as they have to be right.

I actually have a 2nd interview tomorrow for one role where I realised there was a typo in my application so I re-sent it and it looks like hopefully they only looked at the correct version.

I've not done much hiring so haven't seen any howlers, but I did see an agency recently advertising for a role where the client wanted the role to help uphold 'there reputation' 😆

A prison, the Reno reference is from a Johnny Cash song which he sang when he did a concert at Folsom Prison. Maybe the candidate was a boy names Sue.

To be honest, I haven't even found one that would pass my level of scrutiny.

From obvious spelling issues, overlapping/incorrect dates, inconsistent grammar, formatting misalignments... I can rip even the best CV to shreds!

I'm in a scientific field, and you'd be amazed how many people don't know scientific nomenclature, e.g. putting a space between 5 g (5 grams), or using superscript zeros instead of a degree sign.

Happy to proofread a FEW if anyone's struggling.

I've seen sports and extracurricular activities in CVs from candidates aged 40+! That always gets me :)

Regarding typos, does anyone else find that they can read through a document on a screen, decide it's fine, print out out and find loads of errors?

Not a CV but I once wrote my name incorrectly on an application form, back in the days of written forms and envelopes! I was living abroad but applying for jobs in the UK, I was part way through filling it in when the phone rang. I finished it quickly and rushed to the post, I got a phone call for interview and the first question was What's your first name as you've written your surname twice? I got the job though, luckily I taught a shortage subject.

I'm very "punchable" instead of "punctual"

A county council had a job sheet called Trawl. Except someone called it Troll several times on an application.

Many years ago, I worked in a recruitment office. One CV explained that as a student he had had a job at a safari park where he had to dress up as a whale as a promotional thing or kid's entertainment or something.

All fine. But then he started the blurb with the immortal words "in my capacity as a killer whale...".

It became a standing catchphrase in the office after that.

made me laugh but poor you

I don't think you really understand the purpose of CVs!

And your comment is ageist

Congratulations 🎈 on being so thoughtless with people's futures, I hope it made you feel big and clever.

To be honest, I haven't even found one that would pass my level of scrutiny.

You mean you haven't found even one.

I agree @Winningatpatriachychicken

“ Attention to details”. Is as grammatically correct to use as “detail”

A friend once showed me a CV she'd received in response to a job advert for a tradesman she'd placed for a position in her small business.

In the covering letter the applicant made a joke about himself and wrote LOL after it.

You got a teaching job, having failed to get your own name right on the application?
Bloody hell!

My evil flatmate who nicked my interests and membership of organisations. She engineered that we did our cvs together. Then applied to my firm and I saw her cv she had said nicked all the wording from mine claiming she played netball and had been an officer in the young solicitors group when her actual hobby was shagging married men.

Did either of you get the job?

If this is true (which I doubt), it’s pretty shameful.

I remember recruiting people in the late 1990s when it seemed to be all about standing out from the crowd. We'd get CVs on coloured or decorated paper and all sorts of crazy styles and fonts. Sometimes there would be instructions for how to read it in a "humourous" style or a "witty" anecdote on a fun post it note attached, or even some small gift included. I don't know if any of those things worked for other people but they just used to get on my tits.

I do remember one person noting as their only hobby "eating". It seemed like both a sad but also very honest admission. I wanted to interview them on that basis alone, but was over-ruled!

@Kidulthood2027 I'd be impressed that you were still working while shitting! 😂

One candidate I was due to interview had put he had been trying stand-up comedy on his hobbies and interests. So naturally I googled him and there was a video of his set - with a routine all about the pros and cons of various sexual positions. I mentioned in the interview that I had watched his set and he was absolutely mortified! Don't put it on your CV then... (this was for an entry level position in a fusty company).

'Merchandiser cum designer' is technically fine (although it should probably be hyphenated) but yeah, maybe don't use it in a CV.

This is my favourite (I hope she got the job):

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/07/12/nicolas-cage-job-application-attachment_n_1667197.html

My all time favourite was someone whose email address was something like [email protected].

I mean really? You wouldn't spend two minutes setting up a different account that might be marginally more appropriate to a prospective employer.

(For the record, it was a reception job, not anything where having massive jugs would be a role requirement).

I’m detailed orientated. But that doesn’t equate to being a good proof reader or speller or typist. I’m dyslexic. And typing is pants.

but I’m shit hot on details, and oddly can spot numerical anomalies a mile away. Add to that I’m probably too much of a perfectionist and yep, it even annoy me that I can’t proof read all my errors- I try!

what I do is ensure I’m honest about my strengths and weaknesses, and manage my weaknesses. It did NOT preclude me from being successful in my role, in all my working life.

Yep, I agree that unproofed CVs is a 🤦‍♀️🤯 and no excuse cos you should go to bother to get someone to proof read even if you don’t have dyslexia or poor spelling or typing. No excuse.

but please don’t confuse errors in typing with lack of attention to detail. The 2 are not always linked.

Someone applied for a job as an IT Security technician, emailed their CV with a virus on it!

They didn’t make the shortlist.

I agree. Terrible, disrespectful behaviour.