To ask for the biggest CV fails you've come across?

[Kidulthood2027]

Have just realised I've been sending off a CV with a sentence that reads "I undertook regular security checks of the hotel during evening shits." I had meant to say "shifts". I thought I had proofread the CV thoroughly before sending it off, but clearly not enough. I was wondering why I was receiving so little interest for basic retail/food service jobs. Absolutely mortified. Any stories to make me feel better? Can be from you or from CVs you have reviewed during your working life.

In word you can select for it to retain your changes. It's often used when proof reading someone else's work. It means you see the original and the final document in one. So it might be something like - happy with shit shift work with the crossed out bit in red and who made the change You can also add comments. It's like an annotated version of the document

Because apparently most CVs are read by AI and scanned for specific words etc. It can't scan PDFs so automatically sifts to decline as it thinks none of the key words are there. I've seen it in action and realised all those jobs I've recently applied for on LinkedIn are probably using this method as I meet all the criteria and my CV is tailored to each job etc when I write it and I couldn't understand why I was getting automated declines 🤦‍♀️ whereas through a recruiter who you actually speak to and manually reads your CV and passes it onto the company I've been getting interviews.

That's wonderful, OP. 😂I can't think of any myself, but I was hiring for a role once back in the days of paper CVs and we had someone apply using an 8 page (!!) CV printed on lime green plastic sheets.

Like the sort of thing below, as if you were going to put it on one of those overhead projectors from the 90s. She also submitted us a patent application for a new design for a multistory car park that she was currently seeking a patent for.

The role was for a receptionist at a charity. We were all a bit 😳and I think we actually convinced management to let us interview her purely because we were all so perplexed by her application. She didn't get the job though.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Transparent-Translucent-Printable-Drafting-Printing/dp/B07Z992G62?th=1

Under 'hobbies and interests' the candidate 'enjoys wanking in his garden' I think he meant 'working.'

I should add this was on a hand-written job application form, so maybe we just misread his writing .....

I was looking for a part-time role whilst my DC were young and I was applying to absolutely everything from retail to care to admin.
Sent my CV -which I'd amend to suit the job role I was applying for at that moment - to a care provider stating how much I loved working in retail.
I also sent a CV to a company I'd previously worked for and put I'd worked there two year longer than I actually had. Plus I had put a lie about length of service.
Didn't know whether I was coming or going in the end.

One of the most bizarre I've seen was when I was a chef. Sifting through CV's looking for a sous chef, I happen across a lad who had rated himself across various disciplines with a 1 - 5 chillies graphic. Novel approach, I thought.

He had given himself 1 chilli 🌶 out of 5 for communication. No explanation, no desire to improve, just basically admitting his communication was shite. I didn't bother inviting him for interview.

• why I left

Are you sure?

Maybe he thought his penchant for outdoor masturbation would make him stand out 🤣

Oh dear - sitting on a bus laughing out loud reading these!

My contribution would be not a CV but an application form which required referees’ details. Where it asked “How known to you” rather than “Former employer” or “College tutor” or whatever, one candidate had put “Well” and another has put “Paul” and Geraldine”!

Interesting. Bit of a nightmare to not even be in the running without realising!

Hopefully you are getting some interest now.

That's so annoying. Always used to do pdfs on purpose so that Word doc formatting didn't get mangled by whatever settings the other person had.

Oh help I’m proper giggling at some of these !!

A friend of mine was helping his girlfriend with her job seeking.
He mocked up a sample CV for her to use as a template and included some comedic "achievements" he thought would amuse her.
She thought it was the finished product and sent off a CV claiming that she had "invented jam" and "shot a man in Reno just to watch him die".
She got the job.

Ahh OP, that made me laugh, sorry!

Nothing to add regards CV but I once wrote in an email to a very, very senior audience, "the thong to remember is that ...)

I proof read much better now.

Not a CV but I used to work in public sector audit. We were presenting our annual audit report to a local authority council when the giggles started, spreading from one councillor to another. The words “public sector” were missing a rather vital L is several places in the document…

in became part of standing orders that one of the checks on our documents before they were sent to clients was that we did a search for “pubic” just in case!

My favourite from an internal candidate included his own notes to someone who helped him with his CV.

Wrote a paragraph on what he achieved in his last role and at the end of it said [THIS BIT READS A BIT FLAT. I WAS THE BOMB & ACED THAT ROLE - CAN YOU EDIT IT SO IT SOUNDS BETTER?].

In fairness, we rang him and asked him to produce an appropriate CV within the hour in order to be included in the process.

He addressed it in the interview in one of the coolest manners ever & styled it out like a pro! I have still no idea what "I was the bomb means!!"

Wonder what the job was? 😂

I have still no idea what "I was the bomb means!!"

It means really good.

Also not a CV and sadly now removed/corrected but for several years Leicesterhshire had some docs available on their website that had them mentioned as Cunty Council.

I temped in a large hotel HR dept for a bit, recruiting mostly hospitality/cleaning staff. We had lots of European applicants for jobs so photos were the norm but I’ll never forget the one CV that was printed on a full page colour picture of the applicant topless, showing off his muscles 😆

I was reviewing an application for a PhD place with a senior professor once and one of the candidate’s American referees had written, ‘This one’s a no brainer!’ (Meaning, it’s an easy question, of course you should admit her!) Senior prof didn’t know the expression and thought the referee was rudely saying the candidate hadn’t got a brain.

I once interviewed someone for a fairly senior role, who had proudly written that one of his greatest achievements was to drive risk into organisations. I think (hope) he meant out of.

I saw one CV where the (Scottish) applicant claimed to have a 'Keen aye for detail'

I’ve seen CVs for serious office jobs and also a nanny position where someone has added their email - no problem with that. Except when the email address is eg [email protected]!