To ask for the biggest CV fails you've come across?

[Kidulthood2027]

Have just realised I've been sending off a CV with a sentence that reads "I undertook regular security checks of the hotel during evening shits." I had meant to say "shifts". I thought I had proofread the CV thoroughly before sending it off, but clearly not enough. I was wondering why I was receiving so little interest for basic retail/food service jobs. Absolutely mortified. Any stories to make me feel better? Can be from you or from CVs you have reviewed during your working life.

My CV claimed that I was skilled at "poof-reading" for an embarrassingly long time.

That is actually one I have seen before more than once, I have let the candidate know so they can amend it. One I see lots is roll instead role. One candidate argued it was correct🙄

I’ve seen CVs that say the person is detail oriented… but then there are spelling mistakes or misaligned paragraphs.

I haven't done this (yet) but can imagine a scenario where it would arise:

I have two CVs: my actual, truthful CV and the CV I would like to have.

The latter contains the qualifications and experience I currently have, PLUS the ones I dream of having. There's a kind of method to the madness. By concretising things, I often end up doing them in the end - and then can add them to the legit CV.

But when sending off my CV to anyone, I have to check, check and triple check to make sure it's REAL CV versus DREAM CV I've attached to the email!

I had one that made a big deal of having been responsible for Student Union elections. Mentioned the ballot multiple times, except he didn't, he wrote ballet every time.

I’ve seen loads of funny ones when recruiting an English editor, these are the ones that stuck out.
I worked in the Finish embassy
I would like to be apart of a team
one didn’t even spell the title of their degree correctly
Attention to details (this one drives me mad)
I have done lots of trainings in …

any typos in an Editor application go in the bin and they aren’t even interviewed.

I've seen some that have several spelling mistakes and one recently that had different fonts, underlining and bold basically inconsistent in everything!
The odd spelling error is easily missed especially if it's a different but similar word.
I checked mine recently and it had a couple of grammar issues despite me checking it over numerous times, sometimes I think it's because I've updated it for different jobs and changed stuff around. Fingers crossed it's all good now.

I know someone who sent in their CV with track changes still on.

Someone I know was struggling to find work and asked me to look over her CV for her.

It was written in two different fonts.
Under 'Hobbies and interests' she'd written;

'I like spending time with my friends and animals in general'.

She also had a sub-heading of 'Things I like to do' which read;
'My Dog'.

I once received a CV from a lady who used to be a hand model and listed that on her CV for an academic post.

No problem really and actually a good way to make yourself memorable.

But, despite the fact she'd stopped modelling about ten years before, the hand modelling was really high up on her CV and she spent the same amount of space talking about modelling as she did her doctorate.

A few years back I had to apply for promotion. I was guaranteed not to get it because I'd been promoted three months earlier. On the promotion CV, we have to write what we've achieved since our last promotion in different boxes covering different aspects of our job. In each box, I wrote "I have achieved nothing" 😅It felt great.

I’ve seen “worked with depraved children and families” rather than deprived.

When I first did mine as a teenager I left it on the computer and unbeknown to me my sister added "pubbing and clubbing" under my Other Interests.

I didn't notice for ages and was trying to get work experience in a law firm.

Ah -- the dangers that arise from relying on spell-checker. Salutory lessons here.

🤣🤣

What's track changes?

Ugh, the mental image that that sentence must've brought to the poor fuckers I sent that CV to. Me, sat on the toilet watching the security cameras on a tablet.

I've been applying for a few jobs recently and have only just found out PDFs are not wanted and in fact they all want word doc CVs so I've been falling at the first hurdle.

I work in a jobcenter. My favourites are the ones who don't include their name or kontakt info. Or the photos (am in Europe so it's a thing) in the car, or on the beach in a bikini, or look like they are on only fans.

https://support.microsoft.com/en-gb/office/track-changes-in-word-197ba630-0f5f-4a8e-9a77-3712475e806a

Working in the not-for-profit arena I’ve seen endless CVs where people have a ‘passion for working in the pubic sector’…

@Superscientist I think it's when you can see all the document edits?

Thanks never heard of track changes!

Don't underestimate the entertainment value of these to the cv reviewer, whose job is normally stupendously boring.

Really? Why would they want word docs?

Sorry I tagged the wrong person!

I hate anything with a photo attached to it. I don’t need to see that!

some of these are brilliant though. Poof reading being a particular highlight 😂