Page 4 | To ask for the biggest CV fails you've come across?

Kidulthood2027 · 2024-04-24T09:57:26+00:00

Have just realised I've been sending off a CV with a sentence that reads "I undertook regular security checks of the hotel during evening shits." I had meant to say "shifts". I thought I had proofread the CV thoroughly before sending it off, but clearly not enough. I was wondering why I was receiving so little interest for basic retail/food service jobs. Absolutely mortified. Any stories to make me feel better? Can be from you or from CVs you have reviewed during your working life.

4YellowDaffodils · 24/04/2024 13:32

I once got a covering letter for a solicitor role working in child protection and the applicant said 'I'm just looking for a nice little job that isn't too stressful to take me into retirement'. - which based on their age was no more than a year away.

Child protection is very stressful and demanding and besides- why tell a prospective employer you don't want to work too much for 12 months.

meatyryvita · 24/04/2024 13:32

I saw a CV many years ago where the person, under hobbies/interests, detailed his thoughts on the film 'Wild Wild West' vs 'Bad Boys'...... Not a sentence or two but paragraph after paragraph. This was not in an application for a role that had anything to do with film, comparative writing etc.

Barleysugar86 · 24/04/2024 13:34

I had an applicant whose previous job role was 'Head of Terrorism.'

Not a typo, just an interesting job title 😂

Nicelynicelyjohnson · 24/04/2024 13:35

Andthereyougo · 24/04/2024 12:55

Not a CV but when asked for her two referees one young lass gave her mother. Seemed very surprised when I explained this wasn’t acceptable as “ my mum knows me well”

For this very reason (that she knows me well), I never use my mum as a referee.

LakesideInn · 24/04/2024 13:35

Also exclamation marks. I once read a CV that contained 42 of them.

1 jaunty ! is one too many and will get your CV binned round here.

JeepSleeHack · 24/04/2024 13:36

Butchyrestingface · 24/04/2024 11:05

I haven't done this (yet) but can imagine a scenario where it would arise:

I have two CVs: my actual, truthful CV and the CV I would like to have.

The latter contains the qualifications and experience I currently have, PLUS the ones I dream of having. There's a kind of method to the madness. By concretising things, I often end up doing them in the end - and then can add them to the legit CV.

But when sending off my CV to anyone, I have to check, check and triple check to make sure it's REAL CV versus DREAM CV I've attached to the email!

I love this idea

EarthlyNightshade · 24/04/2024 13:37

I got one once for a freelance position who had "serial killers" and "coloured gases" among his interests. It was a science position but the coloured gases was too niche for us.

Eliphanbee · 24/04/2024 13:38

I wrote 'character witness' rather than 'character reference" when I was younger..I never did hear back!

thepastinsidethepresent · 24/04/2024 13:38

Misthios · 24/04/2024 12:33

I worked in marketing in the 90s when it was de rigeur for people who fancied themselves as a creative genius or the next Saatchi brother to send ridiculous CVs to showcase their originality. Coloured paper, wacky fonts, delivered with a teabag so you could have a cuppa when reading it, spoken aloud on a dictaphone tape, written in the style of a comic strip, flat pack furniture instructions... honestly. The day we got a CV on white paper, times new roman font, with a simple covering letter the office practically erupted in applause.

Then there's this: https://www.today.com/food/people/woman-prints-resume-cake-nike-rcna49247

North Carolina woman prints her resume on a cake, has it hand-delivered to Nike

From completely different ends of the country, the woman and her delivery driver worked together to make a job happen.

https://www.today.com/food/people/woman-prints-resume-cake-nike-rcna49247

anchoviesanchovies · 24/04/2024 13:39

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 24/04/2024 11:45

A friend of mine was helping his girlfriend with her job seeking.
He mocked up a sample CV for her to use as a template and included some comedic "achievements" he thought would amuse her.
She thought it was the finished product and sent off a CV claiming that she had "invented jam" and "shot a man in Reno just to watch him die".
She got the job.

Oh God these are all making me laugh but this one is my favourite!

GoodHeavens99 · 24/04/2024 13:39

eosmum · 24/04/2024 11:00

That is actually one I have seen before more than once, I have let the candidate know so they can amend it. One I see lots is roll instead role. One candidate argued it was correct🙄

I read one (and i'm wincing just thinking about it!) that said they had 'experience at the cold-face'.

😩

TeaGinandFags · 24/04/2024 13:40

BreadAhoy · 24/04/2024 11:16

I’ve seen “worked with depraved children and families” rather than deprived.

It may be more accurate than you realise 😂

SewingBees · 24/04/2024 13:40

Someone who said they 'like being busty' instead of busy

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 24/04/2024 13:41

I used to work for one of several local universities. It was not uncommon for applicants to tell us in their cover letter how keen they were to work for one of the other local universities. Straight in the bin!

Stigglet · 24/04/2024 13:42

HaventGotAScoob · 24/04/2024 11:23

I've been applying for a few jobs recently and have only just found out PDFs are not wanted and in fact they all want word doc CVs so I've been falling at the first hurdle.

I did not know this! I was always advised to send as a pdf because it preserves the formatting. If you send it in Word format their software can bugger it all up, and they might not have the correct fonts installed, etc. But a pdf appears exactly as you designed it, fonts and all.

GoodHeavens99 · 24/04/2024 13:43

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 24/04/2024 11:45

A friend of mine was helping his girlfriend with her job seeking.
He mocked up a sample CV for her to use as a template and included some comedic "achievements" he thought would amuse her.
She thought it was the finished product and sent off a CV claiming that she had "invented jam" and "shot a man in Reno just to watch him die".
She got the job.

That's fantastic! 😂

Nicelynicelyjohnson · 24/04/2024 13:43

SewingBees · 24/04/2024 13:40

Someone who said they 'like being busty' instead of busy

I've done that in work emails - sorry for not replying sooner, very busty!
I've also signed off "best retards".

TinkerTiger · 24/04/2024 13:44

Username620 · 24/04/2024 11:06

I’ve seen loads of funny ones when recruiting an English editor, these are the ones that stuck out.
I worked in the Finish embassy
I would like to be apart of a team
one didn’t even spell the title of their degree correctly
Attention to details (this one drives me mad)
I have done lots of trainings in …

any typos in an Editor application go in the bin and they aren’t even interviewed.

Ooooh love a nice quick way to think thin the pile!

Xenoi24 · 24/04/2024 13:44

Pistachiovillian · 24/04/2024 11:09

Someone I know was struggling to find work and asked me to look over her CV for her.

It was written in two different fonts.
Under 'Hobbies and interests' she'd written;

'I like spending time with my friends and animals in general'.

She also had a sub-heading of 'Things I like to do' which read;
'My Dog'.

Pmsl

Isitisit · 24/04/2024 13:45

I added my ‘Master of Arts’ degree to my CV and missed out the T.

I did catch it before sending out but it was a close one!

I do have a great arse to be fair! 😂

JadeSheep · 24/04/2024 13:45

Butchyrestingface · 24/04/2024 11:05

I haven't done this (yet) but can imagine a scenario where it would arise:

I have two CVs: my actual, truthful CV and the CV I would like to have.

The latter contains the qualifications and experience I currently have, PLUS the ones I dream of having. There's a kind of method to the madness. By concretising things, I often end up doing them in the end - and then can add them to the legit CV.

But when sending off my CV to anyone, I have to check, check and triple check to make sure it's REAL CV versus DREAM CV I've attached to the email!

I like this 😊

HaventGotAScoob · 24/04/2024 13:46

Stigglet · 24/04/2024 13:42

I did not know this! I was always advised to send as a pdf because it preserves the formatting. If you send it in Word format their software can bugger it all up, and they might not have the correct fonts installed, etc. But a pdf appears exactly as you designed it, fonts and all.

Show quote history

If you're sending to a recruiter or actual person at the company for example use a pdf. If you're applying on a website/LinkedIn/other site etc then use word as AI will filter it. Some jobs get hundreds or thousands of applicants so they use the AI to filter. So a human never looks at most apps which is annoying to know.

Hotpolarbear · 24/04/2024 13:47

Worked in a cafe and we received a cover letter which said, "I think I'd be a great employee for you as I wear your underwear and its so comfortable "!
Safe to say we didn't offer them an interview.

NeedToChangeName · 24/04/2024 13:49

Slightly off topic, but I heard of someone describing a gap in his CV as due to ill health

At some point, occupational health got involved and saw his medical records

He'd actually been in prison, not hospital

thepastinsidethepresent · 24/04/2024 13:49

I'm a writer and editor, so am super careful to proofread my own work as typos are just so embarrassing.

I don't think I've ever made a typo on my CV, but during a previous incarnation as a freelance product copywriter I was very glad I'd proofread my work before submitting when I realised I'd described a dress as 'perfect for the offie.' I somehow doubt that was the image the client was aiming for...