to think people automatically think single parents have no free time compared to married couples… but it’s actually not the case

[Treeplll]

Basically my sister and I each have a two year old. I’m married and sister is a single parent. Her ex husband sees their daughter usually at weekends. Sometimes she will go with them it going somewhere nice or she’ll have the day with a friend etc, hairdressers. My husband works shifts and I haven’t had a day to myself for 7 months. He also gets back late so rarely does bedtime.

Anyway, getting to the point…our parents are very elderly and can’t help practically, but they are ALWAYS saying at social events how resilient and great my sister is … I know being a single parent is hard I used to be one! But AIBU to think sometimes as a single parent you get more of a break?! I have zero credit for doing it all and I do… not because my husband is shit but because of his work pattern!

im probably having a bad week this week but I just feel nobody notices it at all, anyone who is a single parent is automatically seen as stretched for time etc yet my sister has had several hair appointments and catch up with friends in the last month… that’s a once every few months thing for me!!!

Yabu

Many single parents are 24/7 365 days a year because the other parent has chosen to be absent.

I've been married and a lone parent. There is absolutely no comparison and it's ridiculously naive to suggest otherwise.

Yanbu.

There are so many varying factors.

You could be a single parent and the other parent has no input...combined with no family support. Or you could have an ex who shares 50/50 and extended family support.

Same with married couples.

I know a woman who shares custody 50/50 with her ex. She has an absolute blast. Lots of lovely childfree holidays, nights out and weekends away.

I knew another mum who had an involved ex and a lot of extended family support. Her ds spent a minority of time with his mum due to this. He stayed with his dad a couple of nights a week plus nights at his grandparents. She had it very easy

I suppose I wouldn’t really consider your sister to be a single parent OP. It sounds like she’s coparenting. Or parallel parenting as a minimum. My DDs haven’t spent an hour with their father in almost six years. So it’s 24/7, 365 days a year double shifts … that’s single parenthood.

Sorry you have had a tough week. 2 year olds are hard work.

My exh has the kids EOW so yes, I have more free time than you.

But your husband is bringing home a wage. So by default not everything is on you. The pressure I feel as the sole provider for my kids is absolutely relentless.

I've never had a child free holiday - the majority of my annual leave is saved for school holidays, like most parents. I don't resent other single parents who have these though. Being the only one who does anything is extremely isolating and it can be hard to relate to others, so take advantage of the few perks if you can I say.