To think it’s rude not to wave your guests goodbye?

[Pastelbuttercream]

I was brought up to always wave guests goodbye at the door and only shut the front door once they had driven off. This was the norm when I was growing up, everyone did it. If they were not parked near your house you’d walk to their car and wave them off there.

The amount of people who do not do this anymore surprises me. I always feel it’s rude but maybe I am out of touch?

If you don’t wave your guests off, why not? (besides having to close the door incase your toddler runs out, this I completely understand!)

Am I old fashioned? Is this not a thing anymore?

I normally do for guests who’ve come a long way in the day time but I wouldn’t stand out at night or for local friends or walk to their car round the corner.

God no!

I hate being waved off. My mum does this and I find it way over the top, just say goodbye and let me go without all the waving.

Old fashioned and OTT.
my MIL does this and I hate it too. Just say bye and close the door.

I hate it as a guest. I often get to my car and want to set up maps and choose a podcast or music to listen to for the way home. Maybe reply to some messages I haven’t answered because I’ve been visiting someone. But I can’t do that in my own time because someone is standing in the doorway waiting for me.

We don't because of child wrangling - DS1 has just reached that stage where he finds people leaving really upsetting, so a quick goodbye in the living room and then closing the door while guests sort themselves out to leave is easier on him. **

Aww I remember when my grandma used to do that. It is very old fashioned now, I haven't seen anyone do it for about 20 years and even then, that was just my grandma and her generation from before the second world war.
I think you should carry on as you are, it's really sweet.

The only people I know who do this are in their 70s and 80s. It’s sweet but very old fashioned. If any of my friends did this when I went round I’d find it a bit awkward.

Oh my god is THAT why people do that? I absolutely hate it as it puts pressure on the car faffing stage! I want to leave without being watched in case it takes -a few mins to get sunnier on/set up sat nav/pass drinks to the kids etc! For the love of god please stop!!!!

Personally I don't like being waved off at the door, pleasant gesture though it is. I feel like it puts pressure on me to drive off straight away when I might want to spend a few minutes doing something on my phone or whatever.

I wish my in laws wouldn’t do this. The children continue to scream bye bye bye until they shut the door. DP and I can’t talk about route home or what we need to pick up for dinner. We feel under pressure to get everyone belted in quickly and drive off. Often we have to stop around the corner to deal with whatever the children need from the boot that they didn’t remember because they were too busy shouting “bye”.

Great idea! Let's draw out the goodbye for as long as possible and make it as awkward as possible!

I don't understand why anyone would want to do that. Do you actually enjoy standing silently waving at people for that length of time, op?

I always do it and like it when it is done to me. I find just shutting the door on guests really rude.

Maybe it’s phones and higher tech that have changed the attitude to this? There didn’t used to be anything to do in a car between getting in and driving off!

I don’t just push guests outside and shut the door on them. I say goodbye and that it was lovely to see them etc. Then when they’ve left, close the door (not on them). Out of curiosity, do you wave people off when they are walking down the street too? It seems mostly a car based thing in my experience.

We do this in my family to people who have travelled a long way, close family and close friends. My sisters are in their 30s, I am 40s. If we have things we need to do, we just say, ‘don’t worry about waving me off, I’ve got to set up the Sat nav’ or whatever. We like to do it and think it’s normal to do. I wouldn’t do it to someone who just popped round though! I would say take care, bye, thanks for coming, pause for a bit and then shut the door so depends on circumstances.

People are definitely ruder now. I'm an HCP working in people's homes - people leave me on their step in the rain for ages before answering, don't turn the TV down/ off when I'm there, let DC poke round my bags and scream over me talking, and at least half don't show me out at all!

Generally, my preference is to be shown to the door (really so they can close the door behind me as I carry a lot of stuff) then I'm fine with them closing the door.

Same with friends and family.

This. It just makes me feel rushed

Just drive around the corner, for heaven's sake. If your hosts are kind enough to be ensuring you get to your car and that it starts, so what? Do what you need to do to keep them happy (i.e., drive off), then stop and do all this admin and stuff you want to do

I don't do this as I simply cannot be arsed. Luckily nobody cares.

Perhaps she does, but perhaps it 's about your final act as hostess - making sure your guests are safe
Intolerant

Car or walking - always wave them off. I had no idea it was such a social faux pas. If anyone needs to do anything like set up sat nav, they always just say(as I would).

Absolutely bonkers suggestion. Ridiculous people pleasing

I hate it. I want to be able to sort the car out, plug my phone in, pick the music, answer any messages and sort my coat and stuff out before driving off.

I have no idea why anyone feels the need to stare at someone's car until they leave - it's both weird and annoying!

Gosh I do this and I'm in my 50s. I was brought up to believe it was the polite thing to do and it feels rude not to. Never in a million years would I have realised that people are offended or annoyed by it. Or that I'm old fashioned. I've definitely learned something new this morning!

And now I'm weird as well