To think it’s rude not to wave your guests goodbye?

[Pastelbuttercream]

I was brought up to always wave guests goodbye at the door and only shut the front door once they had driven off. This was the norm when I was growing up, everyone did it. If they were not parked near your house you’d walk to their car and wave them off there.

The amount of people who do not do this anymore surprises me. I always feel it’s rude but maybe I am out of touch?

If you don’t wave your guests off, why not? (besides having to close the door incase your toddler runs out, this I completely understand!)

Am I old fashioned? Is this not a thing anymore?

We try not to, as it lets all the warmth out of the house and we live on the edge of a vast golf course and regularly have bats flying above our street.

In the daytime we wave people off!

This is the final stage of the complex leaving rituals practiced by my extended family since time began which have often annoyed me (and totally baffled dh!). It's old fashioned, presumptuous,. unnecessary and annoying. And now I do it too🤦‍♀️😆 Not with friends - although I can't bring myself to defy my upbringing and close the door in their face immediately I'm not a total wrong'un, I wait until they are walking away at least and give a final "bye". But I've stood shivering at cold doors getting annoyed at my parents/other senior family members for the sheer amount of faffing they do before driving off. Sometimes you'll get a "just go it it's cold", but I know very well to ignore that on most occasions... It's mad, and now I'm mad too 😩

I don’t care whether someone waves me off or not. I’m amazed anyone feels so strongly about it.

Yes I was always told it was polite to do this and only close the door when they had gone. I do this. However, when we're at other peoples houses I say when leaving, it's takes us a bit of time to get loaded / seat belts on, etc - don't let us keep you standing at the door.

This

And also has another op said . I hate it because I feel pressured and when I suddenly drive badly like stalling and things

The only person I know who does this is my mum & I also find it awkward!

We do this for the elderly parents and anyone who has come from a long way except my brother who faffs for about 15 minutes before driving off so we just wave him off at the door quickly.

Local friends I just say goodbye to and shut the door.

The only people I know who ever did this were my grandparents. Very old fashioned and completely unnecessary and embarrassing for all involved.

Oh actually my mum did so this sometimes which was awkward when trying to put some music on or set up the satnav before driving away!

Agree with @valjane ! Feel a bit embarrassed now that I always do (did?) this! I thought it was affectionate but maybe indeed it's OTT...

It depends on the person in the car, some people faff and if you were standing outside waiting for them to go this adds unneeded pressure.

I do this, and I'm 38!

I actually find it quite sad that it's a tradition that's clearly going to disappear within a generation or two, judging my these posts.

Thinking about it... if I know you, and you've knocked on my door, I will wave you off! Even if you've left you car running to drop something off, I'll still stand at the door and wave until you drive off. 😂

ETA: if I can see you're taking awhile to set off I will close the door so as not to add pressure but it feels rude to do so.

It's a bit old fashioned. I would still do it for non-regular guests who'd come a long way.

I had to tell my Mum to stop because she has a very long tight drive to reverse down and having her watching makes it harder!

My grandma (78) does it to me, which I find adorable. But if any of my friends (20’s, 30’s) did it I’d tell them to fuck off back inside 😂

I do this! 😂 I don't necessarily wait until they drive off but I make my kids come and wave goodbye and we'll not shut the door until the person is in the car or has gone round the corner. Yesterday I ran down the road beside my friend's car as she drove off just to make her laugh and because I don't see her often! My in laws do it when we visit and the kids are used to being asked to "wave at grandma and grandpa"

Awwh we still do this, my family does and so do my in-laws. I think it’s kind and lovely. My kids are older but do sometimes run out to the drive and wave their GPs off.

DH & I smile and wave and simultaneously mutter ' thank god we live on a bend'

With my mum it's a weird, narcissistic, public thing. She'll have been an absolute bitch in the house but once she's standing on the doorstep, the voice booms out for all the neighbours to hear, big smile. She's just the loveliest grandma in the whole wide world.

The whole housing estate at Christmas is full of cars getting round corners, sorting kids out, checking congestion on the two roads out whilst neighbours shout across the road about how busy/worthy/important family is.

I would always pick a house on a bend.

I don't do it because I fucking hate being waved off. I want to sit in my car, sort out my sat nav, sort out DC's drinks, get the CDs on. I want to do this without my hosts lingering around like poltergeists outside of my car window waiting to wave after I've already said goodbye. Instead I have to jump in and rush off. Say goodbye at the door, close the damn door and let me leave in peace goddamnit.

I also very much appreciate how British this post is. I love how we have awkward traditions that some people love and others find excruciating.

I find it annoying particularly if it is late at night, you need to loudly say your goodbyes on the doorstep instead of in the house and then as they drive off they feel the need to sound the horn to "salute" you.

I vividly remember neighbours doing this when I had a baby who was a poor sleeper. It made me hate them which was fun when years later and divorced I met their nephew and married him.

Disagree 100%

What I've noted is people wave off those they genuinely love, like and or respect.

At weddings, parties I've also noted men sat at the table and friend comes along to say hello. The man at the table will stand up and shake hands if they really like them and stay sat down if they don't

I close the door and wave from the window, especially in the winter to avoid letting the heat out.

I think it’s a lovely thing to do and it reminds me of my grandparents and my dad (who died last year) it makes me quite emotional to think about it. We used to all stand on the front step waving when he left and he would wave out of the car window until he turned the corner. My dad was a difficult man and his visits were awkward for everyone, culminating with relief when he left. But it’s still a ritual that makes sense especially in the era he grew up in.

Before telephones you might only see or speak to some people a few times a year and the war for example separated people for long periods with the worry you might never see each other again. Even now, we don’t know when we will next physically be together with the significant people on our lives. Our time together might feel insignificant, dull or even stressful or annoying but life is made up of a series of events like that. It’s like birthdays, they are just a number on a calendar but we do need to sometimes create drama around things that represent something bigger.

I do understand the feeling of being stressed if you are a visitor because of wanting time to organise yourself before driving away. My grandparents and dad used to factor that in by making a couple of trips to the car before the official setting off time just to make sure they were ready. I’ve noticed an elderly relative of a neighbour doing the same. He seems to ritually go backwards and forwards to they car several times to check everything is in place before his theatrical departure.

Me too. I would only not do it if I was right in the middle of something but then I would make sure someone else did so.

Are you joking?? How farcical is that! Making a pretend start and then parking up again all to suit some outdated social ritual?? Cars aren't from the 70s now. They tend to start and if they didn't, the guest could come back to the house if they wished, the owners don't need to be standing on the doorstep for that.