To think it’s rude not to wave your guests goodbye?

[Pastelbuttercream]

I was brought up to always wave guests goodbye at the door and only shut the front door once they had driven off. This was the norm when I was growing up, everyone did it. If they were not parked near your house you’d walk to their car and wave them off there.

The amount of people who do not do this anymore surprises me. I always feel it’s rude but maybe I am out of touch?

If you don’t wave your guests off, why not? (besides having to close the door incase your toddler runs out, this I completely understand!)

Am I old fashioned? Is this not a thing anymore?

I must admit I do love waving guests off, though I close the door once they've got in the car given they may have things like sat-nav to program.

I think it's a nice thing to do given they may have travelled a long way to visit you at home.

Yep, you’re old fashioned.

My nan does this, at 87. No one else I know does. So we do, but only for Nan.

Other exceptions are when DTwins (little) are over invested in guests leaving, and we might lift them up to the window so they can keep waving. The guests are waving back at DTwins, not us.

As adults, if friends were over for a dinner party, we would all do our hugs, goodbyes, lovely to see yous in the house as we gather coats in the hall, and would only follow guests out to their car if they had brought something (spare chair perhaps) and we were carrying it for them. We definitely would not wave adults off and none of our peers would for us.

Though it's also good manners if you are going to faff around answering messages, planning routes and wrangling children to say to your waiting and watching host to go back in because I'll be a while sorting myself, thank you it was lovely and goodbye.

I've said that to people before and they're still insisted on standing and waving which personally I do find really rude.

Waving in general I can see as being polite though personally I find it annoying, but if someone asks you not to and you do it anyway I think that's not very well- mannered personally.

I normally do but really wouldn't think anything of it if someone didn't. We always say to MIL who has poor mobility she doesn't have to come out to waves us off, but she usually likes to anyway.

Only if guests are ones who have been staying and not seen often. DS cousin waved us off on Saturday but we only see him once a year so it’s nice. I hate prolonged goodbyes at the doorstep MIL and now dead FIL and SIL are awful for this.

As a guest it makes me cringe.

I still do this and most friends do the same to me. If I need to do anything when in the car, I just say I won't be driving off immediately and to go in, give them a wave and they shut the door.

I visited some friends I hadn't seen for over nine years recently, when I left, they both walked me to the door, said goodbye and shut the door. I have to say, I did think that was just really bad mannered.

I'm actually pretty upset reading all these posts. I honestly thought that my love shone through to my kids and grandkids when I do this.

I don't do it and hate having it done to me 😂

My family are prolific wavers. It is quite cute now my parents are in their 80s and the kids teenagers.

I just drive round the corner and do all my faffing to speed the whole thing up 😁

I always walk to the garden gate with my guests if it's not raining, then I turn round and head back indoors.
If it's raining, I watch them from my door until they're in their car and then close my door.
Everyone in my family does this.

My in-laws do this and I don't like it, but I would never complain. I always feel like I'll make a driving error and feel really self-conscious, though in the 21 years I've been with DH, nothing has ever happened.

"Making sure your guests are safe"? How hazardous is the journey from your front door to the kerb?

You'd probably find that posters complained if their relatives didn't do this, too. Complaining is just a mumsnet thing. Even things that might have been mildly irritating about my parents and in laws were clearly done from affection so always appreciated.

I don't because a) I can't stand for long, b) keeping the door open let's the heat and possibly the dog out, and c) being watched makes people feel they have to rush getting the car packed up and reversing off the drive and that might be stressful for them. I do often go and wave out the window from a sitting position once I hear the car start

Old fashioned, I think.

Cars are much more reliable these days, and as pp have said, once you get in to your car, you're often setting things up for a bit, so it would be annoying for everyone.

I go to the door and wave them off as they walk down my path, or maybe a few metres onto the pavement, but they're adults and don't need watching to make sure they're ok - if the car has an issue, they'd just come back!

Same thing as on a different thread with the thanking people for dinner parties - my friends and I all say thanks as we're leaving, and wouldn't dream of then sending further follow up messages or note later.

Manners have changed over time - my grandparents would have done the whole waving off thing, but I really think its time has passed now. And I'm 40s.

I hate it when people stand at the door waving. I then feel I need to quickly drive away otherwise they are just standing their like gobshites waving whilst I'm trying to charge my phone, find my sunnies to put on, sort the kids out etc.

Stop doing it!

Depends who it is. Someone I don't really know well I'd probably come to the door. Not sure if stand there and wave them off into the distance though, bit ott imo.

My best friends? No I'd just say c ya from the sofa!

And yeah agree with pps it's annoying as fuck when you don't just want to hop in your car and drive off within two seconds. I want to get my music on etc.. not feel all flustered because I feel like I need to drive off immediately.

Why are you upset over what strangers think about something you do with your grandchildren?

People can find something annoying or unusual without it being a personal attack on the one doing it.

My family all do the waving stuff for f&f and then commit the cardinal MN sin of asking the DC/sibs to text me that they've got home (motorway journey) ok! 😁
I'm sure the waving keeps our nosy neighbour entertained as she's been seething that they had the temerity to park in the street vaguely near her house!

I always wave guests off and prefer if it's done for me. When kids were little they would also be brought to the door to wave ppl off (especially grandparents). If kids leave before me in the mornings I will also always kiss them and wave them off. Obviously if I get the feeling a guest doesn't want it or wants to fiddle with the GPS or whatever, I will shut the door. But otherwise I feel it's polite, like you're showing that you're regretting they are leaving, you are correctly accompanying them.

This!! I feel under pressure to get in the car and drive off quickly, i then have to pull over again round the corner once out of sight to sort everything out

We do this in my family. I rather like it. I’ll sometimes say to my elderly mom not to wait if it’s cold but she usually does anyway because she likes to.