To think it’s rude not to wave your guests goodbye?

[Pastelbuttercream]

I was brought up to always wave guests goodbye at the door and only shut the front door once they had driven off. This was the norm when I was growing up, everyone did it. If they were not parked near your house you’d walk to their car and wave them off there.

The amount of people who do not do this anymore surprises me. I always feel it’s rude but maybe I am out of touch?

If you don’t wave your guests off, why not? (besides having to close the door incase your toddler runs out, this I completely understand!)

Am I old fashioned? Is this not a thing anymore?

My grandparents used to do this but my house didn’t have a road in front of it so my parents didn’t expect my siblings to do it.
Now I walk guests to the door and depending on the guest/ day/ situation, I’ll either help them out with bags or kids or I close the door and say bye. I only wave bye when they’ve travelled a long way to see me.

I wouldn’t be annoyed or find it rude if someone said bye and closed the door.

I absolutely hate being watched as I am trying to leave. I need to faff, pick a podcast, set up my maps. Instead someone is grinning at me, I often have to drive off and pull over somewhere else. Just say goodbye at the door!

I meant the responder was intolerant for being so intolerant of waving hosts!

This - I don't like being waved off because sometimes it takes me ages to faff in the car and get ready to actually leave, and it feels awkward when people are standing there waiting for you to go.

I always do this for family and friends. If I am the one leaving and it’s cold or I am going to be a while I tell them to go in .If I drop someone off I always wait to see that they get in ok . It’s just courtesy.

How does the waving off work if you live in a flat?

@Pastelbuttercream - it's so funny how many people hate this! I do this and have taught my 9 and 6 year old DCs that it is rude not to wave until the car is out of sight!

I thought everyone stood and waved goodbye, till I first met my in laws who I thought I’d got on really well with.phew. We left, I turned round to wave and they’d already shut the door before we’d even got to the gate! I was horrified, what had I done?

they don’t wave at all.

Bit daft to think of is as a 'norm'. Sometimes it is nice/appropriate/etc, sometimes it isn't, depending on: length of journey, parking logistics, how close you are to the guest, whether it is raining, how you feel on the day, whether there is a telly programme or washing up that you are desperate to get on with, whether the guest would feel awkward about the Leaving Deputation, etc etc.

We even toot the horn when we're being waved off. Now THAT'S old fashioned!

That's what I thought.

And I'm assuming the responder it was referring to was me.

And I'm still not sure how it's intolerant not to want something to happen - as I said, I'm not shouting at them to get back inside...

I've always done it but then I am from that older generation, yes along with the horn-tooting too! Having read through these replies though I can see why now it might be annoying!

I always wave off my kids and GCs, just as we used to be waved off by our parents. And as my kids used to wave off their grandparents. It's part of feeling and slowing love, to me. It'd feel weird just shutting the door on them.

Obviously now I'm going to have to ask them if they want me to stop doing that.

I’m in my 30’s and I do this sometimes for anyone that’s travelled a long way!
I think it’s because my grandparents always did it for us (before maps on phones, Spotify on phones, messages on phones etc), used to stand at the end of the drive and wave us off.
Just say bye and shut the door to everyone who lives locally but I do feel rude doing so.

What is all the faffing people say they need to do? Car seats I get, but putting my destination into my map takes seconds not minutes. Does everyone set up an entire Spotify playlist before leaving?

I do this, and am happy to either wait while people get sorted for their journey, or if they say Im going to be a while getting ready so dont worry about waiting then I wave until they get to their car and then close the door. It is smart phones that have changed things I feel. Why sit on someone's drive and reply to messages, other than something that needs a quick answer. I find that more strange than waving someone off

I think it is because you cannot tolerate/be bothered with a behaviour that means something to person undertaking that behaviour. It's not like you are being asked to permanently change your lifestyle, just to accept a quirky bit of your hosts' personality for a tiny moment from your life

Only grandparents do this in my experience and it's really sweet!

It's also a bit rude to stay on someone's drive while doing these things.

And where do you get the impression I 'cannot tolerate' it from?

Because you seem to be reading something I didn't write.

I do this people have come a long way or are infrequent visitors. I do think the rise of car tech has something to do with this falling out of favour with younger people. Also when I was young there was probably a 30 percent chance each time that the car wouldn't start.

I do this, and if I am the one in my car I beep the horn as I am going around the corner! Family tradition I usually inflict on my friends too.

Saying your goodbyes at the door is plenty.

We do this, but not to the point of waiting until people drive off, unless we're unlikely to see them again for a long time. PIL's do it with us, even though we visit all the time. Sometimes MIL will say 'I won't come to the door today because I'm a bit tired/sore/cold'. I used to tell her I didn't expect her to, but quickly learned that she expects herself to! There is the same tacit understanding that we will do it for the PIL's as they occasionally say 'Don't be getting up' with the obvious implication that we were going to and should🤣

I was brought up to do this too. It's good manners. Good manners are dying out. Shutting the door as soon as someone leaves is like being glad they've gone.

if you really can't find your way home without satnav 🙄🙄then use voice control/ pull over. But seriously? How often do you need sat nav to get home?