To be sick of the breast is best brigade?

[Bex5490]

Currently sat in a maternity waiting room, waiting to be told that I have a condition which I’ll need to take another round of antibiotics for. Which as I’m breastfeeding will probably give my 1 month old baby ANOTHER round of visibly uncomfortable oral thrush.

There is a video on the TV screen about how everyone should breastfeed playing on loop and what a bloody wonderful thing it is…

With my last baby I had such bad mastitis and suffered through until it was unbearable. The only advice my midwife ever offers now or offered then was keep going with the breastfeeding because…breast is best.

One of my friends had a low milk supply and her baby screamed day and night almost giving her a nervous breakdown until she reluctantly gave in and guiltily offered the baby a bottle.

I know I don’t want to keep giving my baby thrush through the antibiotics or pump all day for a smidgen of milk…so I’m going to switch to formula but something inside still feels guilty and like I’m not doing right by my baby because of the 9 months of people chiming on about how…breast is best.

For the sake of a mother’s mental health surely the message should be a bit more nuanced…

OK - Probably hormonal and living on chunks of 2 hr naps. Rant over!

Would be interested to see this link, as didn't realize there was anything new? @Didimum

Personally I’d have been sad to have missed out on the closeness of those first few days and weeks, where you establish feeding and have cuddles with the baby in favour of a rigid schedule. I guess everyone is different

Sorry you're poorly OP, try not to feel guilty, fed is best. Hope your better soon and congratulations on your new baby

Breast IS best (that's a scientific fact), so YABU to say otherwise - but it might not be best for you and your circumstances, so YANBU to decide to feed a different way.

FF mums still cuddle their babies and develop closeness.

This isn’t everyone’s experience though. I BF until nearly 2 years old and by 6 months, we were well in to a night time feed routine where I rarely woke when DS fed and I felt absolutely fine on the amount of sleep I got. I certainly didn’t feel like a martyr and definitely couldn’t have been arsed to get out of bed to faff about with making bottles

So, by the "breast is best brigade" you actually mean medics giving factual medical advice? Do you also get arsey when told a carrot is healthy?
Formula is already the default in this country- it does not need further promotion.

I never considered breast feeding. I didn’t like the idea in any shape or form. I also took dummies/ soothers into hospital with me as I had decided I was using them. No one ever tried to push me into breastfeeding ,probably because I had made my decision & unusually for me,who generally thinks anyone else must know better, I wasn’t going to be swayed. My boys are strapping young men who are absolutely wonderful,so don’t seem to have suffered at all from my choices.
If you want to breastfeed,go for it, but happy mummy happy baby-if breastfeeding isn’t for you, for whatever reason, there’s formula milk x

I'd love to read the research on this and see who sponsored it.

Please don’t feel guilty. Choose whichever method gives you more time to enjoy your baby and being a mum. Your baby will not suffer because you opted for formula.

Well I didn’t expect this

https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2023/10/study-finds-link-between-breastfeeding-rise-in-adult-colorectal-cancer-risk/

I wonder if it’s because the UPFs mothers consume pass in microscopic amounts to babies via the milk? Whereas that isn’t the case in formula.

Agree - I never tried bf and used formula from day one. I liked that friends and family could give bottles and DH and I shared the night feeds (we had DT’s). Thankfully both slept through the night from a couple of months old.

@Bex5490 "
There is a video on the TV screen about how everyone should breastfeed playing on loop and what a bloody wonderful thing it is......"

I'm sure you're quite understandably feeling vulnerable and got at at the moment-but I would put money on it not actually saying "everyone should breastfeed." I hope you feel better soon-it's absolutely fine to stop BF if it's the best thing for you and/or your baby.

The problem is with research on BF -

1. Breastfeeding is not a multi-billion pound industry so nobody is going to fund loads of research in to it because there is no money to be made
2. Too many other factors to consider when it comes to the health of babies

I don’t think FF moms should be made to feel guilty for their choices (or if they have no choice BUT to breastfeed) but I also don’t enjoy the snarky comments made at moms that can and did BF. They don’t exactly have it easy, either. Plenty of people are judgemental about BF as it isn’t the norm in the UK.

In both instances, moms could do with maybe being a little more resilient and owning their choices and ignoring anyone else’s opinion on how they choose to feed their babies.

They're not allowed to advise you to use formula

You have to say I'm going to use formula and most Midwives will breathe a sigh of relief and say that's great we can now do that that and the other

Yanbu. I formula fed 3 and breastfed 1 (my youngest).

The breast is best thing bugs me too. None of my formula fed babies are any worse off than my breast fed baby.

If I ever have another baby I would choose formula.

Do you not think that formula fed babies develop immediate closeness with their parents when being fed and cuddled?

That’s not what she was saying. She was saying she wasn’t a fan of a strict routine with her baby.

Just to add my credentials I mix fed my first for 6 months then formula fed to 12 months. She’s healthy as a horse at 4 and rarely catches colds and so on.

My second was EBF. He has cows milk protein allergy and eczema.

I think once you’ve seen what little difference it makes having FF one child and EBF another, the whole argument seems a bit over the top. And I’m equally as close to both of my children, arguably DC1 is more confident.

Hilarious.

You do know that 50 years of British society formula feeding has been linked to not only obesity but also allergies?

UK health is severely problematic. UK mothers predominantly formula feed. Correlation or causation? Both?

Breast is best. Marginally. Formula is a LOT better than a hungry baby. Fed is essential. Do you really think that needs to be in a campaign?

The only advice my midwife ever offers now or offered then was keep going with the breastfeeding because…breast is best.

You getting bad or no medical advice does not mean that breast is not best.

One of my friends had a low milk supply and her baby screamed day and night almost giving her a nervous breakdown until she reluctantly gave in and guiltily offered the baby a bottle.

The fact that breastfeeding can be hard does not mean that breast is not best.
The facts do not mean that a mother has no power to put her mental health and ability to parent over the slight advantages breastfeeding offers.

Objective truths are not out to get you.

I breastfed two babies with quite a lot of difficulty in the early months, I'm not saying it's easy.
I had two C-sections. This can be an upsetting subject for me. Does that mean that a C-section is the optimal outcome rather than a vaginal birth? No. It just means it was the right choice for me.

It is easy to be very fragile about these subjects especially in the early months. But better to try to be a little more rational about it.

I can't believe that anyone gives the tiniest shite about what anyone other than themselves feed a baby. I don't care. Breastfed - aye you're doing great. Formula fed? Aye you're doing just as great as the breastfeeding mother.

Nobody cares if you breastfeed for 12 months or 2 years apart from you. You're not a better mother it's just you opted for your tits instead of tippee. Same goes vice versa.

Just feed your kid and never ever feel bad about it

Formula IS a UPF.

If you line up a reception class of 4-5 year olds, you would not be able to tell who was bf and who was ff. Fed is best.
You only have to read some of the posts on here from those who bf, they are literally exhausted, nobody else can settle the wain, they cannot even have a shower as the baby is attached 24/7. FF is the way as far as I’m concerned.