To be sick of the breast is best brigade?

[Bex5490]

Currently sat in a maternity waiting room, waiting to be told that I have a condition which I’ll need to take another round of antibiotics for. Which as I’m breastfeeding will probably give my 1 month old baby ANOTHER round of visibly uncomfortable oral thrush.

There is a video on the TV screen about how everyone should breastfeed playing on loop and what a bloody wonderful thing it is…

With my last baby I had such bad mastitis and suffered through until it was unbearable. The only advice my midwife ever offers now or offered then was keep going with the breastfeeding because…breast is best.

One of my friends had a low milk supply and her baby screamed day and night almost giving her a nervous breakdown until she reluctantly gave in and guiltily offered the baby a bottle.

I know I don’t want to keep giving my baby thrush through the antibiotics or pump all day for a smidgen of milk…so I’m going to switch to formula but something inside still feels guilty and like I’m not doing right by my baby because of the 9 months of people chiming on about how…breast is best.

For the sake of a mother’s mental health surely the message should be a bit more nuanced…

OK - Probably hormonal and living on chunks of 2 hr naps. Rant over!

Of course breast is best - if it is possible.
It's especially designed for babies, it is always on tap without all that sterilising and temperature palaver and it is usually better for the mother's breast health, too.

When it doesn't work, it is upsetting and can be an ordeal re mastitis and guilt and so forth.
Thank goodness for the modern wonderful formulas.

Every mother has the right to choose whatever suits her and her baby, with no guilt tripping from anyone.
She also has the right to switch at any time, if she decides that she doesn't want to continue with breast feeding.

So I didn't really know how to vote, at first.
I opted that YABU, because of describing the breast is best people as a “brigade”

That is not the OP’s situation.

YANBU. With both my children I had low milk supply and had to top up with formula. My boobs just don’t seem to be plumbed in properly and doing it that way was fine by me. However for the few days after DC1 was born I was admitted for intravenous antibiotics. I knew something wasn’t right and baby wasn’t getting any milk. It just felt like nothing was happening. But midwives were so hell bent in trying to make me breast feed they were unwilling to accept there might be a problem. By the time they took notice DC had lost 12% of birth weight. Even when they suggested topping up with formula they said it like it was some sort of dirty word. With DC 2, after saying i had low milk supply, a health visitor suggested I sit and breast feed all day, knowing very well I had a 19 mo to look after.

The stuff about breastfeeding only having minimal benefit (for non pre term babies) is in Emily Osters book - I assumed it was true as she cites the studies, is it not?

I think ff or bf are both fine, make your own choice, ignore everyone else.

I dislike the breast is best malarkey as

a) is it a little better or a lot better? No one can answer that.

b) people always use stupid terms like natural. Considering “natural” would have left me to bleed out when my son was born I don’t think that’s a selling point for me.

It’s the simplicity of the discussion that bugs me. If you’re going to guilt me do it with detailed arguments not mantras.

I didn’t say FF was more beneficial. I said BF benefits were minimal. Will link research.

I did bf then switched to formula at 5months ahead of returning to work. When I took my baby for injections the HV weighed him and I commented that he'd started to gain faster. The HV said "well he will now you're artificially feeding him". What an utter prick

I don't think antibiotics means oral thrush.i have fed 5 kids for about 10 years total.None hae had this.Just try and hang in there!

Yes please do link research because I have never heard this before

Emily Oster is known for cherry picking studies which support her views and is not a medical professional or expert on child development. I would take any of her claims with a pinch of salt.

I still eat the pips in apples and haven’t had a tree grow in my stomach yet 😂

Yes, that’s the one.

I breast fed my twins, so I’ve no dog in the fight.

Do whatever you want OP. Baby won’t know and won’t care how it was fed.

Yep, found that odd. Why should a nursing mum move to paying for formula at six months if they don’t need and/or want to and then move on to cow’s milk at age 1?

Thanks for all your responses…

Obviously hypothetically breast is best. It’s just like someone said, the simplicity of the statement.

Like is breast best on antibiotics, or with a struggling mum who can’t get a break because she’s exclusively breast feeding. Where is the research on that to just declare that breast is best?

For a happy mum with no issues and perfectly latched baby then yes - breast is best but maybe the messaging should be ‘if you for some reason want to use formula then that is often a good option.’ Throughout both my pregnancies I heard no mention of why FF might be necessary or something that would benefit me or my baby. And surely that is the real reality of the scientific evidence.

She’s a professor of developmental and health economics. Nevertheless, your opinion is your opinion.

I breastfed so opinions are nothing personal.

This is quite a good one looking at supplementing infant formula. Note the brain development was actually better with one of the preparation over breast milk. I agree it should be fed is best, new parents shouldn't be made to feel bad for their choice just to benefit the small proportion of people unaware of the studies that show positive impacts of breastfeeding.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10320619/

So se has done no research of her own, just chosen to interpret the research of others in her own way to sell her book?
Is that about it?

Do whatever is best for you and baby...both of you fed and well.

I made myself poorly developing post natal depression with the pressure I felt in trying to breastfeed and I really refer letting the views of others push me to that.

I have no difficulty understanding that if mothers are struggling to feed and coping with mastitis, etc, that stress is picked up by their baby. A calm, well rested ff mum can be much better for baby. I wish I’d realised that earlier.

I don’t know what research on breast milk is being referred to here but I’ve long believed that what matters most is what mums eat while pregnant and what they wean babies on to. The 6 months in between are the least significant.

I understand this. I was a militant ‘baby will choose’ mum second time round. When a mw asked me what on earth I meant by that, I’m afraid she got both barrels. I was so angry about the pressure and the complete lack of openness about how full term babies might refuse the breast - even 7 years later. I took no crap from any bf zealot second time round.

The research is comparing production methods of IF not with breastmilk??

It’s awful isnt it, your baby will thrive whatever you choose to do. I am fan of bottle feeding as I like routine and proper sleep schedules

Yes, this is another massive advantage. Women do themselves no favours martyring themselves bf throughout the night at 6 months old. What the hell?

Babies need sleep - as do their parents.

I was a militant ‘baby will choose’ mum second time round. When a mw asked me what on earth I meant by that, I’m afraid she got both barrels.

Please don't give me both barrels, but what is a "baby will choose" mum?