To be sick of the breast is best brigade?

[Bex5490]

Currently sat in a maternity waiting room, waiting to be told that I have a condition which I’ll need to take another round of antibiotics for. Which as I’m breastfeeding will probably give my 1 month old baby ANOTHER round of visibly uncomfortable oral thrush.

There is a video on the TV screen about how everyone should breastfeed playing on loop and what a bloody wonderful thing it is…

With my last baby I had such bad mastitis and suffered through until it was unbearable. The only advice my midwife ever offers now or offered then was keep going with the breastfeeding because…breast is best.

One of my friends had a low milk supply and her baby screamed day and night almost giving her a nervous breakdown until she reluctantly gave in and guiltily offered the baby a bottle.

I know I don’t want to keep giving my baby thrush through the antibiotics or pump all day for a smidgen of milk…so I’m going to switch to formula but something inside still feels guilty and like I’m not doing right by my baby because of the 9 months of people chiming on about how…breast is best.

For the sake of a mother’s mental health surely the message should be a bit more nuanced…

OK - Probably hormonal and living on chunks of 2 hr naps. Rant over!

I'm with you op. The ridiculous pressure on my sobbing friend who was physically unable to bf as she'd had major breast surgery, to "just keep trying" is what I am sure led to her pnd and marriage breakdown. As it happens I was shocked by a midwife family member who went straight to bottles, because even the midwives themselves didn't believe breast feeding was significantly better for the child, just cheaper and more convenient in the maternity ward.

I don't have a strong view, but it does sound as though safety protocols for bottle preparation have evolved over time, and I'm not sure I'd trust the NHS to keep up with that given how chaotic they are.

Maybe better to throw the onus on the manufacturer. If they risk a lawsuit every time a baby gets gastroenteritis, they'll be highly motivated to make sure the information gets through!

Left it too late to add...

Maybe providers of ante-natal classes don't want to 'teach' FF in case it looks like endorsing it. But are they missing a trick? If they teach it thoroughly (given what a colossal ball-ache it sounds like), they might put a few people off.

There are plenty of things you can do wrong with ff. Bottle sterilisation, storage and concentration are probably the main ones that can lead to food poisoning and failure to thrive.
BF does all that for you so really apart from technique there is less that can go wrong.
So yes, I think that ff should be included in anti natal care.

There does seem to be a bit of a trend to bottle feed expressed milk currently, perhaps it is to try and get the best of both worlds or for babies with poor latch. But it does appear to be a very time and energy intense method. If it is a choice then it’s a bit counterproductive.

More support in the initial stages is probably what is needed for both bf and ff to make sure that both methods are done effectively.

I actually agree and I struggled with milk production. I had NO help at all beyond being badly bruised by a midwife squeezing my breast as hard as she could (you could see bruises in the shape of her fingers on my breast). The breastfeeding "support" group at the hospital was closed as it didn't have anyone to run it. I was shown how to latch DD once very briefly which was really the midwife grabbing me and shoving my nipple into DD mouth roughly no actual help or advice. I remember frantically reading books on breastfeeding in hospital trying to figure it out myself and not understanding why I couldn't get any milk out. In desperation because I genuinely didn't know what to do (in hospital on day three with hardly any sleep) I got DH to bring formula and bottles. DD was happier almost instantly. We went home and I got mastitis which was horrific and I had very limited help with that as well. If I had more positive support maybe I'd have managed to establish breastfeeding. Who knows.

Really sorry, that sounds shit.

I hope there’s a next time so you can try again.

should be taught in schools.

My understanding is that this “trend” is because social media is completely dominated by American content.
American women have no paid maternity leave so they are all back at work pumping away all day.

You’re not a better parent by breast feeding - it’s just one decision parents have to make.

For me it was the prospect of having to get up in the night to boil the kettle that made me push through the cluster feeding stage. The population level benefits were irrelevant to me.

I'd like to see antennal classes talk honestly about the pros and cons of both methods.

Not another go for me as my two are now 16 and 18 and I'm perimenopausal so I'm done! Thank you though, it was a bad time for me x

Fed is best, end of!

Totally agree.

Yes I agree it can be over the top.

Also a lot of the advice seems to ignore the difficulties - ‘oh just pump milk’, ignoring that you might then spend 18 hours a day either feeding or pumping. Or getting up at 5am to pump before work etc.

I still occasionally am asked by people if I breastfeed and they’re 18m old. ‘No they eat food’.

Private school is better for life outcomes too, but those aren't used to beat vulnerable women over the head.

No one is arguing that FF is better, or on par, but it's the strength of the benefits in comparison to FF and then aligned with the strength and tone of the messaging which is important.

obvious goady fucker is obvious.

lol - you are not doing the sensible breast feeding PPs who have made well reasoned points any favours here…

The irony being that if they supported the needs of the individual mother then they may well find BF rates actually increase. A huge percentage of mothers BF at birth and then those numbers drop off drastically at 6 weeks and go down to very very low rates by 6 months. A great many number of those may have stopped because they wanted to and that’s fine. But how many of those stopped because they felt they had to? And would have carried on if they could have got the support they needed? I don’t think they collect the data on why so many women stop?

🤦‍♀️

😂

How come you facepalm this fairly innocuous comment, and yet you ignore the shite being spewed by ColourfulSeasons above? Just out of interest.

Formula feeding is a selfish choice.

I thought making sure my child was nourished and not screaming from hunger 24 hours a day was the only choice. What was “selfish” about it?

Oh just stop it. It is way more complicated that that and you know it. You’re just being goady!