To be sick of the breast is best brigade?

[Bex5490]

Currently sat in a maternity waiting room, waiting to be told that I have a condition which I’ll need to take another round of antibiotics for. Which as I’m breastfeeding will probably give my 1 month old baby ANOTHER round of visibly uncomfortable oral thrush.

There is a video on the TV screen about how everyone should breastfeed playing on loop and what a bloody wonderful thing it is…

With my last baby I had such bad mastitis and suffered through until it was unbearable. The only advice my midwife ever offers now or offered then was keep going with the breastfeeding because…breast is best.

One of my friends had a low milk supply and her baby screamed day and night almost giving her a nervous breakdown until she reluctantly gave in and guiltily offered the baby a bottle.

I know I don’t want to keep giving my baby thrush through the antibiotics or pump all day for a smidgen of milk…so I’m going to switch to formula but something inside still feels guilty and like I’m not doing right by my baby because of the 9 months of people chiming on about how…breast is best.

For the sake of a mother’s mental health surely the message should be a bit more nuanced…

OK - Probably hormonal and living on chunks of 2 hr naps. Rant over!

Low milk supply isn’t a thing unless there is a specific medical reason.
low milk supply is called by a poor latch usually (baby not getting enough milk in and not stimulating milk production).
the number of people I have heard say “I had to use formula because I didn’t have enough milk”, makes me so furious they didn’t get bf support

The hospital was not "advertising" breastfeeding. They were encouraging. Unless you're suggesting they were attempting to sell you a lactating breast?
It doesn't need to be more balanced, because the rates of breast/formula feeding are very much not balanced.
I'm not really sure what information you feel is lacking re formula feeding? Its widely available, there is NHS advice and the instructions are on the can. What more do you really need?

Like most things in life people only moan when it’s not pleasant. Bf mothers are made to feel guilty if they breeze through it or find it easy so are far less likely to wax lyrical. They are still in the minority.
I decided to bf as long as I felt comfortable, after six months I felt very pressurised to stop and often got snide comments feeding a toddler. It was very rare that I would feed in public after 6 mnths and was always very discreet but people were very judgy.

The endorphin hit you get with let down is pretty addictive. Natures reward for feeding your baby.

This is a good and detailed example of why moving on to formula milk is definitely a good choice for some individuals. You've done incredibly well to continue to bf for as long as you did, in those circumstances!

There was just one small paragraph though, that I wanted to highlight. You said that with breastfeeding 'your whole life revolves around breastfeeding', but then went on to talk about pumping, bottles, sterilising, making sure enough milk in fridge to go out with etc. This is a contradiction, as what you described is actually bottle feeding using expressed breast milk. Breastfeeding itself (feeding the baby directly from the breast) doesn't involve those things at all. No need for pumps, sterilising, making sure enough milk etc. It is there on tap, no prep required at all. This part of it was actually my favourite part of bf. I didn't need to plan! I just didn't want anyone else who may be planning on bf to be put off by that bit. Many women do need or choose to pump milk, but bottle feeding expressed milk is a very different experience to actual breastfeeding.

Anyway, sorry about that interjection. Best of luck with the switch to ff, and I hope things start to go more smoothly for you, and your baby recovers quickly from the chest infection.

A lot of it stems from the Nestle scandal in the 70’s (might be wrong there!). Someone can correct me if I’m wrong but in certain (third world) countries they were heavily promoting formula as being better for babies and giving out free samples in hospitals by sales reps dressed as nurses. Women were then unable to afford to keep buying it or able to safely prepare it, leading to the death of quite a number of babies.

So the advertising ban is so that infant formula remains a medical product and companies cannot claim that it is better than breast milk or any other brand of formula as they all have to adhere to the same standards.

I think the professionals who are the first port of call for new expectant mothers (midwives) should explain that FF is an option rather than just replying to all queries or concerns with a blanket ‘breast is best’ or a differently worded equivalent.

At what point do expectant mothers get detailed advice on how to safely and successfully FF a baby if that’s the choice that they’ve made?

Yes there’s a page on the NHS website but what about those who struggle with literacy or speak another language?

@Kinshipug It feels as though the aim is to increase rates of BF over supporting the needs of the individual mother.

In my area its when you discuss it with your midwife around 24 weeks if you are clear on FF you get the safe bottle feeding leaflet if you are clear on BF then you get the BF leaflet!

I have 3 children born in 3 different places in 2 different countries, I've been asked with each of them during pregnancy, after birth, by health visitors and at the 6 week check how I am feeding baby and how it is going. Ive been instructed on proper formula prep and sterilising when i formula fed. Everyone knows about formula. Why do you think people need to be told? Who doesn't already know that it's an option?

Well yes.

Breast feeding is not the most popular choice. The whole idea is counteract the idea that formula is the norm and breastfeeding is the weird choice. Breast milk is designed for human babies. A woman's breast have multiple uses over a life span but they are not primarily for the male gaze which is the one that's done the most damage to breastfeeding.

To be fair, when I was attending antenatal classes we didn’t receive any info at all on formula feeding. Breast feeding only. They simply didn’t cover it.

For most of us, it is not that complicated, you’re right. But formula which is incorrectly made or stored can be dangerous for babies. It’s important that there is information available for those who want/need it, and that that is a universal experience across the board.

Right, but formula literally has instructions, pretty sure with pictures, on the tin. As did the bottles and electric steriliser I bought. I would assume anyone incapable of following those instructions would already have been identified as needing additional support regardless of how they fed. Breasts don't come with an instruction manual.
There just isn't the need for formula to be encouraged - it is already the default baby food. Evidently the vast majority of mums are able to figure it out.

I mean I understand they want to drive breastfeeding rates but I don’t believe that they way to do that is to simply deny formula feeding it’s place by not giving out any info on it.

See I don’t know. When I was bottle feeding, my understanding was that it was dangerous to store bottles in the fridge to be heated up later. I didn’t do that, I had a perfect prep machine. But soooo many of my friends did store bottles in the fridge.

To my knowledge no one got seriously unwell from that, but personally it’s not a chance I would have taken. I don’t recall that sort of thing being on the tin. I think I read it on this website actually? Maybe the NHS website? I’m not sure.

But the point is, they’d have had to go looking for that information. It wasn’t given to them when i think, for babies’ safety, it should have been.

Why would you want to deny anyone information that could keep their baby safer?

@PrincessTeaSet
It's not free - most people spend on bras, clothes, pumps, breast pads, storage bags, bottles, teats, lactation consultants etc etc.

What even is a lactation consultant 😂😂😂
And I'm pretty sure every woman spends money on clothes and bras.

I have no idea why 'most people' would be spending on any of this shite. You are reaching if you are trying to use this list of random stuff as any sort of argument

Geez I breatfed for 28 months across my two DC and would never have described it as anything more positive than "fine". Certainly not enjoyable and definitely no endorphins! No fair, I want a refund.

I was really surprised at how dangerous incorrectly prepared formula could be. It doesn't seem to be emphasized that much given the risk. I think I thought it was like the equivalent of using gravy granules or powdered hot chocolate.

I don't think "oh but there are instructions on the tin" is good enough. Reading around the subject it just seems like when this risk became apparent parents were given a very faffy prep method but no reasoning for preparing fresh with hot water every time. Surely it should have been obvious that many people would see this method as too difficult and ask their own parents how they did it.

Agree. Manufacturers should be providing this information. Very irresponsible if they don't.

I'm fully sure you know what a lactation consultant is, but it's someone who can help with feeding issues like latch and supply that many women experience. They are available on the NHS but in short supply (no pun intended) and so many women book a private consultation as it is their only route to professional support.

I can't think of any friend who breastfed (and most of them did) who didn't buy pumps, breast pads, breast milk storage bags, bottles and teats.

100% agree. Great post.

You don’t think there’s a place for it within the NHS? Even though it’s the NHS who will be sorting out any issues arising from incorrect formula feeding? You don’t think there is any place for it within antenatal education? Really?

They do. It is on the packaging.

I'm all in favour of good public information about food hygiene, but manufacturers are also responsible for making sure their products are used safely. Having all the information on the tin is a foolproof method of getting it in front of the user (who might have lost their NHS leaflet and can't be bothered to Google).

I’m gathering from the responses that some BF mums feel like people look at them as judgy and ‘earthy’ which is obviously a stereotype and not nice. But it doesn’t compare to feeling as though people feel like you’re not someone who puts the needs of your child first.
Oh I can assure you that lots of breastfeeding mothers also get told that they're putting their own wants before their child's needs - especially if they have the audacity to breastfeed for longer than whatever arbitrary age the critic has decided is "long enough" though there is plenty of criticism available earlier too.
It was ever thus and sadly I suspect it always will be, but from conception onwards, whatever you do, however you raise your children there is going to be someone, somewhere saying that you're not doing it right. Maternal age, type of birth, bf vs ff, what kind of nappies you use, dummy or not, weaning, returning to work or not, nursery vs child minder, choice of school, clothing, hobbies, going to the "right" University, you name it, it never stops. I'm currently getting disapproval over my adult DD's wedding arrangements!!
I just had a quick look for some data. The last National Infant feeding survey was 2010 so its a bit out of date but I don't imagine things have changed drastically. Then, only 12% of babies were excusively breastfed by 4 months and only 1% by 6 months. So the vast majority of UK mothers must use formula at some point. Now the rights and wrongs of that and the reasons behind it are of course worthy of wider debate but criticism of individual mothers, especially by other mothers is ridiculous.
It is not easy advice to follow, but Eleanor Roosevelt did have it right when she said that nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. As long as you are confident that you're making the best decisions you can in your particular circumstances that's all that really matters.

You haven’t answered my question.

Do you think there is a place for it in antenatal education?

(For the record, I agree that the manufacturer also has a responsibility).