Page 10 | To do this at a child's party where I was the facepainter

BrickTraybake · 2024-04-21T12:30:37+00:00

I am trying to establish a small business as a facepainter just to earn a little extra money. Yesterday I did a childs birthday party for one of the mums at my DSS's school. I did it at a discount price for her as she said she would recommend me to all the other mums and she is the PTA and said she can get me a slot at school fairs. I have a system where I get the children interested in having their facepainted to write down their name on the list and then I call them when it's their turn so there's not loads of bored kids queueing. The parents sign next to the child's name to say they consent to me painting their face and then they tick a box if they consent to me using images for promotion. It's worked well so far. So yesterday one mum puts a massive X in the photo consent box and writes next to it NO PHOTOS NO SOCIAL MEDIA!! fair enough. When it came to that child's turn, I wrote next to her name "pink Tshirt" just to remind me of who she was in case I accidently got her in the background of a pic. Mum paid up, everyone happy. Then later on Facebook I saw her post thanking everyone for coming to the party and the mum of pink t-shirt girl wrote underneath "thanks for inviting us! Shame facepainter wrote down details of what my child was wearing?? Bit odd 😂" and the mum shock-reacted it. I'm so upset. I was so looking forward to hopefully getting more party bookings and a place at the school fairs. This was only my third party and now I'm worried this mum will gossip that I'm a wierdo and I won't get any more. Was I in the wrong? Should I reply??

T1Dmama · 22/04/2024 00:58

BrickTraybake · 21/04/2024 18:15

Omg!!

I did it. I used one of the replies on here. Thank you so much.
I did it then closed my phone with my heart pumping and went sort dinner. When I looked at my phone half an hour later 8 of the other mums had liked my comment and five of them wrote underneath her comment but to me, stuff like 'thanks so much for the facepainting xyz loved it" and then on the same post but a separate comment one of them asked me if I would do her DS's party. It was like they could all see what she was doing and they were sticking up for me I am so grateful - I hardly know them. I think I agree they do all know she's a bit of a nightmare.

And then I went to put my DD in the bath glanced at phone again and she had deleted her comment.

Whoop 🥳

Result ♥️

she made herself look stupid and she knows it!

T1Dmama · 22/04/2024 01:03

CheezePleeze · 21/04/2024 20:46

So it's already been deleted then? I mean along with her comment?

That's good, now I'd ask for this thread to be deleted too if I were you.

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Don’t be daft!

Are you the mother at the party running down a business woman and potentially loosing her custom?? Sounds like you might be her!!

PrincessFionaCharming · 22/04/2024 01:13

BrickTraybake · 21/04/2024 13:49

Thanks all. I do know I am being a wuss but you wouldn't beleive the amount of confidence I needed to build up just to do this I have painted kids faces at birthday parties for family members for free for years and I have been told countless times that I should do it professionally but I never have the confidence. I'm only doing it now because I really need the money. My first party I was crying on my way there I was so nervous. But thank you, I will put on my brave pants and reply to her
I am a bit scared of her though. She was really forceful and she put a massive X over the box using her own black felt tip pen and pressed so hard she ripped the paper a bit lol

Lol what an absolute knob. I’m embarrassed for her.

T1Dmama · 22/04/2024 01:15

MHN101 · 21/04/2024 21:27

My interpretation of GDPR/confidentaility as a teacher is would be that I could get sacked for revealing confidential info like this on Facebook - what if the woman didn’t want anyone to know she doesn’t allow her kids photos on SM etc?

Apologies if it’s wrong OP et al and not a breach, didn’t mean to cause alarm.

I would say, even if it’s not a breach, I would see it as unprofessional of OP. The woman was a dick, absolutely, but OP risks a lot more by taking her on on her friends FB page.

Edited

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OP has quite clearly stated that her response didn’t reveal any preference regarding sharing of images… she likely just responded something polite like ‘I sometimes note what a child is wearing for identity reasons!’

Blueblell · 22/04/2024 06:42

Reply to the message calmly and it will be obvious to others reading it why you did it and show you took her request seriously and made sure you knew which child was not to appear in the photographs. Turn it into a positive.

asbigasablueberry · 22/04/2024 07:09

BaronessBomburst · 21/04/2024 13:36

Just explain.
@Bluebellsinthesun post is perfect as it's factual, neutral, and professional.
You'd actually go up in my estimation, not down.

Yes, this!

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 22/04/2024 07:43

Misthios · 21/04/2024 14:22

Bearing in mind she's a Big Cahoona in the PTA (just spotted how close to PITA that acronym is ... coincidence? ) world I agree replying as recommended is a grand idea to the point of faux puzzlement.

Reading comprehension not your strong point, is it? It was the party host mother who is involved in the PTA, not the mother of pink t-shirt girl, who was a guest at the party. Still, don't let facts get in the way of having your wee pop at the mums and dads who give up their time to fundraise for your kids.

I'd go with one of the responses you have been given OP, but not the one starting with "hiya!" which is about as unprofessional as you can get. Also agree that when someone posts a dickish comment on social media and gets a response which is polite but points it out as dickish, they just end up looking even more silly.

Ahhh yes I did read that wrong. Apologies OP and any PTA MNers reading, my bad. I don't have a reading comprehension problem but thanks for pointing my mis read that out to me in such a nice fashion.

And my comment about PTA was in the context of my initial misreading so now makes your point a bit moot.

Viviennemary · 22/04/2024 08:30

She sounds an absolute pain. You did nothing wrong. Just explain as other posters suggested.

Whatifthehokeycokey · 22/04/2024 08:33

BrickTraybake · 21/04/2024 18:15

Omg!!

I did it. I used one of the replies on here. Thank you so much.
I did it then closed my phone with my heart pumping and went sort dinner. When I looked at my phone half an hour later 8 of the other mums had liked my comment and five of them wrote underneath her comment but to me, stuff like 'thanks so much for the facepainting xyz loved it" and then on the same post but a separate comment one of them asked me if I would do her DS's party. It was like they could all see what she was doing and they were sticking up for me I am so grateful - I hardly know them. I think I agree they do all know she's a bit of a nightmare.

And then I went to put my DD in the bath glanced at phone again and she had deleted her comment.

Whoop 🥳

That sounds like a win.

Lagoony · 22/04/2024 08:47

Some people are just so relentlessly fucking thpecial.

Squish12 · 22/04/2024 09:16

MHN101 · 21/04/2024 20:35

OP. I think that was a really bad move. The woman was already defensive about having photos taken, then about her kids clothing being written down. Now you have broken GDPR by revealing to everyone on that woman’s Facebook page that she requested no photos or social media.

You’re on really dodgy ground with that one. Personally I’d be removing your post ASAP and just letting it go. It’s not that big a deal and certainly not worth the aggro that she could cause you if she decided to.

Lol 😂 mumsnet is hilarious

crockofshite · 22/04/2024 09:30

good luck with your face painting venture, it sounds lovely and by far the majority of parents and kids will be thrilled with what you do.

BTW, just fyi, re cropping out people in photos, I use the Google Pixel 7 (other phones are available) which has an edit function that does just that, crops out people in the background. Lovely for holiday snaps as well when you just want your own family with a nice background and you can crop out random people wandering into your shot. I only mention it because it's a very useful function for the issue you raised here.

VanGoghsDog · 22/04/2024 09:54

ziggies · 21/04/2024 22:09

@PaulAnkaTheDoggo@NeverHadHaveHas@Ohlookwhoitis Couldn't just scroll past – GDPR is my legal bread and butter. Personal data must be given as wide an interpretation as possible, and a previous HC judge has noted obiter dicta that this could include data preferences itself.

Ofc the role of consent is widely overstated compared to eg legitimate interest, but just so you're aware.

Edited

Then you'll know that obiter dicta comments by judges are not binding.

People are just confused between GDPR, safeguarding and normal confidentiality. Which doesn't really surprise me, because all this is so drummed into people that the differences get lost.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 22/04/2024 10:55

LeaveTheClocksAlone · 21/04/2024 21:23

*Here's something I wish Id known at 21.

You know that feeling you get that you're still a kid, that everyone else is so grown up and has everything figured out while you're still trying to figure out adult life and friendships etc.

It never goes away. Everyone has it, the 31 year olds, the 41 year olds. Hell, my Dad says he still gets it and he's mid 60s

You still cringe when we say something stupid, we still worry when we upset someone. We still think "I did not understand what the fuck just happened there" on a regular basis.

The only thing that happens is that we get better at hiding it, and the embarrassments build up until can can't remember the individual ones, and you start giving less and less of a shit.

Don't feel like the "grown ups" know better than you. Because there aren't any grown ups, just people cocking up all day every day. The 30 and 40 year olds don't know any better than you do.*

As a woman who is about to turn 40 this is one of the most reassuring things I've ever read - and totally accurate. I'm still as awkward and scared shitless as I was when I was 21.

This is true. 3 kids, in my 40s, divorced and I still feel like Im faking adulthood. I wish sometimes a more grown up grown up would come along and deal with things for me cause it bloody hard.

Struggle1 · 22/04/2024 11:57

@LeaveTheClocksAlone thank you for that. I still feel the same that I have no idea about anything and don’t feel like a “grown up” can I ask how the teenagers/young adults in their 20’s seem like they know everything. I do not believe they are faking it as my nieces in their late teens early 20’s look and feel so confident, they actually give me advice on life! I do not believe they are faking it as I’ve known them since they were born they genuinely believe in themselves. How is this possible?

ziggies · 22/04/2024 12:18

VanGoghsDog · 22/04/2024 09:54

Then you'll know that obiter dicta comments by judges are not binding.

People are just confused between GDPR, safeguarding and normal confidentiality. Which doesn't really surprise me, because all this is so drummed into people that the differences get lost.

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That's literally what obiter dicta means, my dear – it's not some clever loophole you've caught me in, it's the literal meaning that little first year law students learn on their first day of school. 😅

By definition, they're not binding on the current case because they're not about the current case. However, the fact that a judge goes to the effort to incorporate those comments says a lot. They are taken into a great deal of consideration when looking for precedent (both by us and judges) though.

Many an obiter dictum from a previous (non-precedent) case has been taken into consideration to form the ratio decidendi for a new case, thus setting a new precedent.

No offense, but a judge's comments certainly hold more legal weight than Mumsnet opinions.

Applescruffle · 22/04/2024 12:19

Struggle1 · 22/04/2024 11:57

@LeaveTheClocksAlone thank you for that. I still feel the same that I have no idea about anything and don’t feel like a “grown up” can I ask how the teenagers/young adults in their 20’s seem like they know everything. I do not believe they are faking it as my nieces in their late teens early 20’s look and feel so confident, they actually give me advice on life! I do not believe they are faking it as I’ve known them since they were born they genuinely believe in themselves. How is this possible?

Good stable loving upbringing. Thats the key. Everyone is a product of their upbringing

Sugarcoatedalmonds · 22/04/2024 12:57

Aw man @MHN101 , lesson learnt eh? Just goes to show the importance of understanding what you are talking about before giving advice I guess 😅onwards and upwards!

So pleased its all worked out for you @BrickTraybake ! Well done you for holding your ground ♥️

franbrad · 22/04/2024 17:56

Surely just respond explaining the reasoning behind it. You won't cope if you don't get a tougher outer skin. The public can be so awful to deal with.

kkloo · 22/04/2024 18:15

ziggies · 22/04/2024 12:18

That's literally what obiter dicta means, my dear – it's not some clever loophole you've caught me in, it's the literal meaning that little first year law students learn on their first day of school. 😅

By definition, they're not binding on the current case because they're not about the current case. However, the fact that a judge goes to the effort to incorporate those comments says a lot. They are taken into a great deal of consideration when looking for precedent (both by us and judges) though.

Many an obiter dictum from a previous (non-precedent) case has been taken into consideration to form the ratio decidendi for a new case, thus setting a new precedent.

No offense, but a judge's comments certainly hold more legal weight than Mumsnet opinions.

Edited

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If the OP didn't keep this information then would she be considered to have 'stored' it? If she had made the girls name, mothers signature and the 'pink tshirt' note illegible as soon as she'd taken the pictures then is she considered to have stored it?

Notaregularmummy · 22/04/2024 18:22

Bluebellsinthesun · 21/04/2024 13:32

Just reply ‘it was for my own record to identify your dd so I could adhere to your request for no photos / SM’

100% this ⬆️

Sapphireblueeyes · 22/04/2024 18:25

Bluebellsinthesun · 21/04/2024 13:32

Just reply ‘it was for my own record to identify your dd so I could adhere to your request for no photos / SM’

This^

Fontofallknowledge23 · 22/04/2024 18:29

You must definitely type why you did this and explain it. Not nice for you.

FeetLikeFlippers · 22/04/2024 18:31

She sounds like a passive-aggressive bully and an attention-seeker. I’m a bit sensitive about people misunderstanding my intentions, so I understand how you feel, but please don’t give her the satisfaction of letting her intimidate you. Only unhappy and insecure people behave like her so this all says more about her than you. If you reply/explain in a polite and professional manner, like other people are suggesting, then she’ll probably (hopefully!) feel quite stupid. Just be sure not to word in a way that she could interpret as a criticism of her, as she sounds like the kind of person who’d then switch it on you and play the victim!

NewPinkJacket · 22/04/2024 18:33

I don't think any of the newcomers to the thread are bothering to read the OP's updates.