I don't really understand getting married

[Springisnear4]

I don't really understand the point of it other than it being a party and you get presents. I know some people do it on a budget but generally you spend loads of money, is it about showing your love to the world? I don't know, I don't get it.

For me, it was because I’d dated before, had relationships, etc…so it sort of felt like it was signifying that this was THE relationship. For my husband it was probably a religious thing. Either way, it’s worked out okay for 17+ years now.

Even if you don't get married for religious/moral/showcasing your love to the world reasons, there can be legal benefits to it: it's the simplest way of becoming a financial unit (if you want to share assets), there's tax benefits (inheritance tax exemptions and marriage allowance), and you can automatically confer parental rights.

DH and I spent some time living abroad, it was much easier to do that married than unmarried. On a similar note, if you're travelling, certain countries won't allow you to share a room in a hotel unless you're married.

I thought that marriage was just a piece of paper when I originally said yes, but 7 years on its meaning has changed for me - I get comfort from the legal protections it offers (even though I'm the higher earner) and I do think declaring vows in front of our family and friends made me more inclined to work at the relationship and grow it stronger

@Pipsquiggle - think you’ve misunderstood that OP is saying

"Even if you don't get married for religious/moral/showcasing your love to the world reasons, there can be legal benefits to it: it's the simplest way of becoming a financial unit (if you want to share assets), there's tax benefits (inheritance tax exemptions and marriage allowance), and you can automatically confer parental rights."

It's one way to do all those things. Inheritance tax affects only a tiny minority of people, despite Tory scaremongering, and naming on the birth certificate automatically confers parental rights.

Inheritance tax affects only a tiny minority of people

Because marriage means a hefty majority of people circumvent it. It’s why people like Ken Dodd get married on their death beds.

As already pointed out, it's the only way to get all of those things.

It is not possible to replicate the tax position of married or civilly partnered couples without being in one of those institutions. Automatic PR is not the same thing as PR that requires you to go through a process first either.

The issue isn't whether you can get those things without marriage/CP. You can't. It's whether the couple concerned actually want them. Not everyone considers the things you cannot get outside the institution to be beneficial. Sometimes they might be even a disadvantage.

And yes, @Blossomtoes is right to point out that more estates would pay IHT if not for marriage. It doesn't address the point about IHT advantages to say the percentage paying it is low, when one of the reasons for that is people who've been able to benefit from an efficient, marriage/CP exclusive way to avoid it!

IHT applies on anything over £325k per person.
15% of UK homes are worth over £500k. In London the average home costs £685k. Once savings, pensions and other assets are taken into account, that suggests a minimum of 10-20% of estates would be subject to IHT if not for marriage and civil partnership. If the unmarried partner doesn't have enough cash savings, they would have to sell their main home to pay tax, even with children residing there.
Personally, i wouldn't like the idea of DH and DS to be out househunting within months of my death because they were forced to downsize.

@Wingingit11 How have I misunderstood it?

She's saying you have to spend a lot of money for the legal protections of marriage (i.e. an expensive wedding) - I'm saying it doesn't have to be.

If my parents hadn’t been married their estates would both have been liable for IHT in the same year on the same money. Once on the first death, then again on the second. As it was there was none payable at all.