I don't really understand getting married

[Springisnear4]

I don't really understand the point of it other than it being a party and you get presents. I know some people do it on a budget but generally you spend loads of money, is it about showing your love to the world? I don't know, I don't get it.

Really? You thought this added to the discussion how exactly?

It is perfectly possible to put legal protections in place with one trip to the solicitor. Inheritance tax exemption is still
dependent on marriage, but that only.affects 4% of the population.

So no, no reason for marriage at all. So long as you actually do the solicitor trip.

There are legal protections that can be put into place with one trip to the solicitor, but you won't be able to replicate those of a married or civilly partnered couple that way. For one thing, some of them relate to the way that the state treats the people concerned. There's no solicitor who can make the government treat you the same way as a married couple when you're not.

So what it comes down to is whether you want these or not.

@Springisnear4

Are you coming back?
I genuinely don't know how you can get to your mid 30s and not know about the legal protections marriage brings.

Or are you talking about the costs of a wedding? It starts at circa £50 for a marriage license, after that it's up to you what you spend.

7% and rising. It affects any couple whose house is worth £500k or more. And of course part of the reason that percentage is so low is because spouses don’t pay it at all and the unused allowance is transferable to a surviving spouse.

To be honest we didn't have a clue about legal consequences. No one talked about getting married for legal or practical reasons 40 odd years ago or at least no one I knew did.

This is a big part of the problem tbh. People get married because it’s the done thing to do by default and they are not told what the legal and contractual ramifications are.

50 years ago it was just what people did. Partly for religious reasons and partly moral ones. For the vast majority of people those reasons no longer apply but young people aren’t educated properly about the real meaning of marriage.

In fact it needs to be case by case and for every case where it’s a good idea there is one where it’s not.

Bur the miasma of Disney bullshit around it clouds people’s judgment and they can’t think critically about it.

Come back when you’ve had kids with a man you’re living with but not married to, sacrificed your career so he can work whilst you raise the kids, thereby screwing up your career and pension. Bonus points if you live in a house owned by him and which you have no rights.

Then tell us what the point of marriage is.

We didn't do a big party and we didn't get a single card or present.

We got married because we want it legally recognised that we intend to stay together forever. We want to be legal next of kin and have the final say of the worst should happen.

We want the legal status and protections that come with marriage. Personally, I want to keep men from hassling me once and for all. "NO THANKS, I'M VERY HAPPILY MARRIED". Marriage is a firm boundary.

Marriage is safety, home, security and peace. We are for each other first and foremost.

We are a family unit. (We kept our own names, and I'm still Ms, not Mrs.)

I've been enjoying a sunny Sunday, Reading the comments now

No @skipit8103 but I do occasionally bump into one of them on threads about eloping with Mumsnet witnesses!

@Vod "There's no solicitor who can make the government treat you the same way as a married couple when you're not."

In what way?

oh that’s a shame!

Inheritance tax as you’ve already pointed out and some survivors’ pensions. We had to produce our marriage certificate for me to be named as the beneficiary of a military pension.

The big one is the taxation system, which doesn't just relate to IHT either. The differences kick in long before one of you dies! Though it's an excellent point that part of the reason so few estates are affected is the existence of the preferential treatment for married couples.

So there are a very few circumstances where you can't mitigate marriage discrimination. But for the vast majority of us there's no benefit at all. Good to hear.

Where exactly do you imagine you heard this?

So @Springisnear4 - what’s your conclusion? Did you understand the legal issues or was that something you’d not thought about?

This.

Same here.

Spend a lot making sure if he leaves you you're not left high and dry?

Or even, as many many people have posted, that you don’t actually have to spend a lot to get married.

@Vod "Where exactly do you imagine you heard this?"
Well,I inferred it from the fact that people
Iiable for Inheritance tax or entitled
to service pensions are the only people who benefit from marriage.

You’re liable for inheritance tax on significantly less money if you’re not married.

OP you don’t need a big wedding unless you want the whole event. (Which is fine if you want it, but don’t need to).

a registry office wedding is pretty cheap, not far off the cost of sorting a couple of wills.

what’s your situation?

Love that story @Zampa 👏