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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How often are you complimented on your looks

246 replies

Gerbil12 · 19/04/2024 21:27

In particular by people you've just met. Have been out with a very attractive friend tonight who has had men fawning over her/complimenting her whilst I was just ignored as usual. I'm probably a 5 but I don't think my physical appearance has ever been complimented by a stranger. Feeling a bit crap. Does this happen to other people?

OP posts:
1plus1equalswindow · 20/04/2024 15:52

Just talk to a salesman, and he'll tell you you're the most beautiful person he's ever met, and this deal is just for you....

Newname71 · 20/04/2024 16:13

StormingNorman · 19/04/2024 22:15

Quite often and usually when I’ve made the effort to dry my hair properly or put on some make up.

Nobody seems to think I look nice in my joggers and frizzy curls. Shame as I spend 99% of my life looking like that 😂

😂. DH once told me I looked lovely while I was wearing my cleaning scruffs. I said no I don’t I look scruffy. He said “I meant your head” 😂😂

Newname71 · 20/04/2024 16:18

Beezknees · 19/04/2024 22:51

Not a whole lot nowadays as I'm fat. I have a pretty face though and when I was slim I got complimented a lot, but it doesn't happen often when you're fat 😂

My DH’s mate once told me I was too pretty to be fat 😵. Didn’t stop him trying to shag me one night though 😂😂

MartinsSpareCalculator · 20/04/2024 17:50

The only "compliments" I ever get are from drunk men commenting on the size of my tits.

I'm not an attractive woman by any stretch of the imagination, so wouldn't expect to be complimented either.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 20/04/2024 18:09

MartinsSpareCalculator · 20/04/2024 17:50

The only "compliments" I ever get are from drunk men commenting on the size of my tits.

I'm not an attractive woman by any stretch of the imagination, so wouldn't expect to be complimented either.

That's disgusting. Sorry you have to hear that. I'm sure you are attractive.

Dacadactyl · 20/04/2024 18:12

I'm only ever really complimented by people who've seen me before. Most recently by a shop worker locally who usually sees me looking like a bag lady. I was done up for a night out and she said "wow, you look great".

By strangers, hardly ever.

FilthyforFirth · 20/04/2024 18:14

Never! I was always the uglier, slightly larger one in all my friendship groups. Growing up my best friend was so pretty and slim and nights out with her were brutal! So damaging for my self esteem (not have fault obvs).

But I'm married now and my husband seems to find me attractive so there is hope! But solidarity, defo not alone.

BobbyBiscuits · 20/04/2024 18:24

A stranger wouldn't usually say that to someone unless they were crudely trying to chat them up, surely? I overheard a teenage traveller at a bus stop calling me 'really pretty' lol. That was about 15, years ago though.
Homeless people always compliment my dress sense too.
My dentists receptionist said I had a really positive aura. After I'd given them £3.5k. not sure if the two were connected?! Haha.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 20/04/2024 18:41

FilthyforFirth · 20/04/2024 18:14

Never! I was always the uglier, slightly larger one in all my friendship groups. Growing up my best friend was so pretty and slim and nights out with her were brutal! So damaging for my self esteem (not have fault obvs).

But I'm married now and my husband seems to find me attractive so there is hope! But solidarity, defo not alone.

My best friend from age 13 (and also my DB's girlfriend from about 14/15) was stunning. My height (5ft4/5), slim (size 6-8-10 back then) and had long Californian blonde hair, I've never seen a colour like it, but not the flaxen English/Scandi/Celtic blonde.

She also had stunning green cat shaped eyes and tanned really well, a golden colour.

She permed her hair from 13 and looked amazing like that (it was the 80s!). Whenever I was out with her I paled into comparison beside her and our other best friend (my best friend from age 4/5) was plain - she said she was a plain Jane. She wasn't that bad actually, was quite pretty, but she didn't suit makeup really, although we all wore it, dark brown/black eyeliner mostly on lower eye rims.

I looked pretty up until 15/16, when suddenly I recall I'd worn my hair in a French plait for school a couple of times and once when I was home from school, I took it out downstairs (it was really hot) and it sprung into curls. DM and DB suddenly went 'wow' and DM decided I should get my hair permed the next month. I just had normal longish hair, but when the hairdresser finished (I had a bubble perm) she said (and so did her colleagues), 'wow, it looks really natural on you'.

Once I'd had my perm done I got told by everyone, 'you look like Kylie Minogue/Charlene' (Neighbours), I got called 'hey Charlene!' by teenaged boys in the street. And I was elevated from a pretty girl, to, apparently stunning looking. But I didn't really see it, I was a shy, gawky, glasses wearing child who certainly didn't think she was pretty growing up! I also tended to walk around with my head in the clouds half the time, especially when out on the streets.

It's strange when you have to adjust both your and other people's viewpoints of you, especially when you change from 'plain' to 'very pretty' as I did aged 13. I did have the usual older guys approach me, when I was younger and drinking in pubs at 14 and thank god I survived most of those encounters.

I was told by a few people, 'you could model' - but I was only 5 ft 5 though I was very slim, about 6 to 6.5 stone at 12/13 maybe even slimmer but with a bust (always had that), and I don't think I'd have enjoyed it. I had an auntie who modelled though, we all thought she was so glamourous, she did well, but partly I think, due to her DH who was a 'famous' hairdresser back in the 60s (a complete tosser of a man though) and had connections to the modelling side. He was known before he married my auntie (they met when she was 14) for finding and making models. I was actually sent to Lucie Clayton's finishing school at 17/18 and the 'modelling' side of the school too, but I was too short to model, so just did the walks and the course, and learned to turn like on a catwalk, I also did the 'finishing' side too which was mostly, how to speak properly, get in and out of cars correctly, balance books on your head whilst walking.

Grapewrath · 20/04/2024 18:56

Often my friends and colleagues. I often get told I look younger than I am too.
im not attractive and I definitely look my age- maybe I just know nice people.
i often compliment others too- if something is nice why not say so imo!

the80sweregreat · 20/04/2024 19:10

Never ! Even when I was much slimmer ( many years ago now)
Bit of a plain Jane !!

Cel77 · 20/04/2024 21:19

Gerbil12 · 19/04/2024 21:27

In particular by people you've just met. Have been out with a very attractive friend tonight who has had men fawning over her/complimenting her whilst I was just ignored as usual. I'm probably a 5 but I don't think my physical appearance has ever been complimented by a stranger. Feeling a bit crap. Does this happen to other people?

I got quite a bit of that in my 20s and 30s... Not so much nowadays ( 46). I was a bit dependent on it, I'm not very confident but I could always rely on my looks. Not so much now and it's a bitter pill to swallow.

Franticbutterfly · 20/04/2024 22:38

I don't think people comment on other people's looks generally. Men stare at me a lot, but didn't really when I was younger. I think it's because I am a noticeable early 40's woman. I wear nice clothes, blonde hair, lipstick, not fat and I walk confidently which probably makes me seem attractive. But when I take it all off and put my pjs on, no one would look twice!

JeysusH · 21/04/2024 03:21

It's a funny one.

I get people commenting on my 'looks' all the time.

Is it because I'm preturnaturally beautiful?

Of course not!

I'm quite striking, tall, slim, dress in me own way, angular face and have incredible hair.

People like those things.

I never got perviness from men, they were always quite respectful to me.

I've had men tell I'm 'A goddess' and 'Beautiful'.

But we all know they're foolish.

Have lots of people say 'I love your style', mainly women.

My favourite is when young women say (& I've had this since I was 32 with the young woman that used to wash my hair).

'I want to be like you when I grow up'

I love that. I've had it a few times.

That makes me happy.

Just holding a torch for younger women.

That, and the American couple that said to me & DH, when in Shoreditch, 'you two look cool and interesting. Can we take your photo'?

Actually DH & I are BEAUTIFUL.

(We're not. Just a pair of tall silver-foxes, that dress well and garner interest).

GetSomeNaiceHam · 21/04/2024 03:42

I think once, in my almost 50 years. I was on a night out with my then boyfriend (his works night out) and a young lad (I was around 24 and he was probably around 19) said how 'fit' I was. Nothing since then tho. Tbf I'm disabled now and considerably fatter so I'm not really surprised. Most days I can't stand to look at myself. 🤷🏻‍♀️

JeysusH · 21/04/2024 03:49

GetSomeNaiceHam · 21/04/2024 03:42

I think once, in my almost 50 years. I was on a night out with my then boyfriend (his works night out) and a young lad (I was around 24 and he was probably around 19) said how 'fit' I was. Nothing since then tho. Tbf I'm disabled now and considerably fatter so I'm not really surprised. Most days I can't stand to look at myself. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Now now.

Really?

You must look at yourself.

You must see yourself?

GetSomeNaiceHam · 21/04/2024 18:45

JeysusH · 21/04/2024 03:49

Now now.

Really?

You must look at yourself.

You must see yourself?

I do see myself, yes. I just hate what I see.

mrsmiawallace3 · 25/02/2025 14:33

Last week my gardener quoted me 150 for a Spring clean up. Then he suddenly said " But I would do it for free for one night with you..." I am a 62 year old widow 😂

PaperStarred · 25/02/2025 17:28

mrsmiawallace3 · 25/02/2025 14:33

Last week my gardener quoted me 150 for a Spring clean up. Then he suddenly said " But I would do it for free for one night with you..." I am a 62 year old widow 😂

I hope you retorted with a pair of secateurs.

IlooklikeNigella · 25/02/2025 17:36

Semi- regularly. I don't go out to bars now really without my husband and I don't have them walk up to me on the street ever like they sometimes did in my 20s and 30s but I still have women compliment my appearance.

I don't actually think it's a measure of purely good looks though as I have some exceptionally goodlooking friends and they were never approached as often as me. In fact the attention I receive / d always seems to come as a surprise to whoever I'm with so I think it's more that I look approachable and friendly too. I used to be told I was very sexy a lot too which I have no explanation for.

KimberleyClark · 25/02/2025 17:36

FrannieGallops · 19/04/2024 21:32

Fairly often, but I find it quite annoying and it’s often patronising.

Great humblebrag.

JHound · 25/02/2025 17:38

It happens from time to time but I never take it seriously

YouDeserveBetterSoAskForIt · 25/02/2025 17:48

I can't cope with some of these comments 😂

They're like an opportunity for people to get their obsessive and highly detailed maladaptive daydreams about themselves out into the world lol.

Absolutely bizarre.

Waitingfordoggo · 25/02/2025 21:57

Literally never. I'm the wrong side of 45 and haggard, I don't wear make up, rarely brush my hair and wear leggings and fleeces most of the time so it's to be expected really. 😂

Having said that, I'm complimented most weeks on my physique and I work hard to maintain my fitness so I appreciate those compliments. (They don't come from random people though but fellow fitness fans so they're the kind of people who appreciate muscle).

Remoteaccess · 25/02/2025 23:43

Tinymrscollings · 20/04/2024 01:54

Oh god never. I’m nice enough looking, I like myself and I dress well so you’d think I might be in with a shot, but it’s never happened. I think the compliment givers and the compliment welcomers have a radar for each other. I’ve spent my entire life beaming out ‘tell me I’m beautiful and I’ll make it awkward’ vibes. It did used to bother me when I was young, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve realised that I’m an acquired taste. I don’t think that men who go around bars bestowing compliments based on someone’s face and body are usually looking for a project of that nature.

Love that radar analogy!

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