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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to let DD drink coffee?

181 replies

TheKeyToTheJungle · 18/04/2024 20:47

DD (13) is constantly asking me if she can drink/try coffee. So far I have been saying no because I don't want her to get addicted to it like I am, I have both DD and also a 1yo DS as well as a very demanding job and I just can't function without coffee because I'm always exhausted and need it to function. Coffee helps to keep me alert every day when I'm exhausted, honestly wouldn't be able to function without coffee. DH thinks that I should 'consider' letting DD try it but I'm worried that she will end up addicted like me. Aibu to not let DD drink coffee?

OP posts:
FakeMiddleton · 18/04/2024 20:48

Let her drink it because she will HATE the taste at that age.

Job done.

Remmy123 · 18/04/2024 20:48

Just get decaf? I don't get the issue

StMarieforme · 18/04/2024 20:48

My DGD had decaf till she was 17. Kept her happy.

You are correct not to give coffee to an under 16.

ByUmberViewer · 18/04/2024 20:48

Hmm, I dunno, I think banning stuff just makes it more attractive to be honest.

Also, it's coffee - not cocaine.

Original poster
TheKeyToTheJungle · 18/04/2024 20:49

StMarieforme · 18/04/2024 20:48

My DGD had decaf till she was 17. Kept her happy.

You are correct not to give coffee to an under 16.

She doesn't want decaf though, I've already tried suggesting that to her.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheKeyToTheJungle · 18/04/2024 20:50

FakeMiddleton · 18/04/2024 20:48

Let her drink it because she will HATE the taste at that age.

Job done.

I know there's a chance that she will hate it but I'm worried that she won't hate it and will end up not being able to function/be alert without it like me.

OP posts:
ByUmberViewer · 18/04/2024 20:50

TheKeyToTheJungle · 18/04/2024 20:49

She doesn't want decaf though, I've already tried suggesting that to her.

Show quote history

Just pour the decaf coffee into an ordinary coffee jar.

OhYoko · 18/04/2024 20:50

It's coffee, not heroin. I let my almost 10yr old have the occasional one as she likes a weak, Starbucks latte a few times a year. I wouldn't stress about this, there's plenty of other stuff to worry about!

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 18/04/2024 20:50

FakeMiddleton · 18/04/2024 20:48

Let her drink it because she will HATE the taste at that age.

Job done.

My 15 year old has been drinking coffee since he was 13, don’t be so sure that she’ll hate it!

OP YABU, let the kid drink it just limit her intake.

beAsensible1 · 18/04/2024 20:51

Just give an americano with no sugar, she won’t ask again.

FakeMiddleton · 18/04/2024 20:51

If she drinks most soft drinks, she'll be getting a load of caffeine from that anyway

Chocolatepeanutbuttercupsandicecream · 18/04/2024 20:51

It’s caffeine, not cocaine, and a cup of coffee is definitely better than those energy drinks! I think it’s perfectly normal for teens to drink coffee, I know I did 🤷‍♀️

Hankunamatata · 18/04/2024 20:52

Mine don't know the difference between the decaf pods I use and the non decaf. So I let them have sips from about 10. They all pulled faces and said its gross. Dc who is 10 likes a milky cup of tea, his dad brought him decaf teabags

TheSnowyOwl · 18/04/2024 20:52

TheKeyToTheJungle · 18/04/2024 20:49

She doesn't want decaf though, I've already tried suggesting that to her.

Show quote history

How will she know?

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 18/04/2024 20:52

TheKeyToTheJungle · 18/04/2024 20:50

I know there's a chance that she will hate it but I'm worried that she won't hate it and will end up not being able to function/be alert without it like me.

Show quote history

Your issue is not her issue. Also you should probably work on it, because you do sound overly dependent on it.

2mummies1baby · 18/04/2024 20:52

I'm with you, OP. I would tell her she can choose between decaf coffee or no coffee.

Renamed · 18/04/2024 20:52

Could it be a very weak latte - just a splash of coffee in a mug of hot milk (then at least she would be drinking milk) as an occasional treat? That would probably be far better than any of the mega sugary whipped cream options she could get from Starbucks etc?

Original poster
TheKeyToTheJungle · 18/04/2024 20:53

I understand why DH thinks I should just let her try it but then what do I do if she likes it and ends up not being able to be alert without coffee or function without coffee like me?

OP posts:
hjrl · 18/04/2024 20:54

I'm a tea fan and wouldn't have an issue with that.

Surely though it's like anything OP. You don't want it so it's no.

If it was mum I want to drink wine like you every Friday, or drive your car, etc.

You are saying you don't feel happy with it so stand by that.

BIossomtoes · 18/04/2024 20:54

TheKeyToTheJungle · 18/04/2024 20:53

I understand why DH thinks I should just let her try it but then what do I do if she likes it and ends up not being able to be alert without coffee or function without coffee like me?

Why would she? And if she is it’s going to happen some time.

Edenmum2 · 18/04/2024 20:55

Just give her decaf, it sounds like it's been built up and she'll probably forget about it once she's tried it. Put decaf in the jar, there's no way she'll know

LaurieFairyCake · 18/04/2024 20:55

What do you do?

Well, fuck all - welcome to adult hood DD 🤷‍♀️

It's not exactly a bad additction if you're doing nothing about yours

SabbatWheel · 18/04/2024 20:55

She won’t know it’s decaff if you decant it and if she’s never had non-decaff she won’t know the difference in taste (to be honest I find there is no difference).

Love51 · 18/04/2024 20:55

At 13 can't she just get one on her way home from school without you? Or at a mate's house? I'd offer her your mug when you are drinking something without sugar and gamble that she'll hate it.

Ponderingwindow · 18/04/2024 20:55

dont bank on her not liking it. Mine is a coffee fiend.

the reality is that she is old enough that there is nothing stopping her from drinking coffee when she isn’t with you except the rules you set. She could be out with friends and order a coffee any time she wants. She can buy one on the way to school.

we decided on teaching moderation. Dd doesn’t drink soft drinks like other children because she hates carbonation so caffeine from coffee now and then really isn’t that much different than having a coke.