To refuse to let DD drink coffee?

[TheKeyToTheJungle]

DD (13) is constantly asking me if she can drink/try coffee. So far I have been saying no because I don't want her to get addicted to it like I am, I have both DD and also a 1yo DS as well as a very demanding job and I just can't function without coffee because I'm always exhausted and need it to function. Coffee helps to keep me alert every day when I'm exhausted, honestly wouldn't be able to function without coffee. DH thinks that I should 'consider' letting DD try it but I'm worried that she will end up addicted like me. Aibu to not let DD drink coffee?

She will anyway TBH. I let my 13yo have a small amount of good espresso on special occasions. She doesn't really like it, it's all for show.

When you say you can't function without coffee, what do you mean exactly? There must be some times you're not drinking coffee and still functioning.

Just let her have a sip of your coffee you are really overthinking this

Honestly, you modelling to her reliance on coffee will inform her far more than you telling her not to drink it. Coffee (especially black and unsweetened) is a healthy drink, has lots of fibre and antioxidants. There’s definitely worse she could be drinking.

Yes OP. Your language is concerning considering it’s just coffee. Why do you feel you can’t function without it?

How can you stop her going to Starbucks if she goes into town with her mates?

Your 'addiction ' is psychological you don't physically require caffeine to perform daily tasks, the amount you get in coffee is negligible. If you really want get to be put off tell her how you feel about your own coffee intake and that you're seeking help from a counsellor/MH professional

My now 7 year old has been having sips of my coffee since she was 4. Last year I got her a special little cup (espresso-size) for her to have a coffee with me. I make hers milky and we have a nice little coffee time - she drinks about half hers but likes the ritual.

At 13 she'll be going out with her friends after school and at the weekend and can easily try coffee - unless you've banned independence and pocket money too - so it seems pointless to say no to this now. Better by far to teach her to enjoy more grownup things in a healthy way, than to teach her to fear, avoid and binge them.

Has she tried other drinks with caffeine in them? If she has and isn't addicted to them, why do you think she would become addicted to coffee?
Would a compromise of only once a week be an option that would satisfy DD and ensure that she isn't overdoing it or becoming addicted?

Obviously I can't stop her from doing that. I know that I can't.

It gets me through the day when I'm just so exhausted and also makes me more alert/more energy to function.

DS1 is 15 and drinks tea and coffee. But they actually make him a bit sleepy. Same happens to me, particularly with coffee. DS2 is 11 and occasionally has a cup of very milky, weak tea - maybe once a month. There are much worse things to worry about.

Then you are fighting a losing battle. Because she will drink coffee when you are not there.

Op have you tried taking a complete B vitamin? Just a thought.
Let her have the coffee, it’s not going to kill her and she’ll be so grateful.

You might want to Google adrenal fatigue, OP, if you feel like you can't function without coffee. The kick from coffee is the caffeine stimulating a release of adrenaline. That's what it does. If you need to keep kicking your adrenal glands there are things you can do to get them back on a healthier track.

You do know millions of people drink coffee every day and are not as remotely addicted as you seem to be

You do realise there's more caffeine in a can of coke than a teaspoon of instant?

And how come she hasn't already gone to Starbucks and bought herself one? That's the weird thing about this post!

I get where you're coming from. I'm not a coffee drinker myself but DH can't function without it. DS2 wanted the occasional coffee from early teens. I wasn't entirely comfortable with it but didn't say no. I now have an 18 year old coffee addict.

I've also come to realise in the last couple of years that both DH and DS2 probably both have ADHD and I do wonder if they are both self-medicating to some extent.

Do you/your DS have ADHD? Often coffee affects us with ADHd very differently to those without….i have to say you can’t beat a caffeine nap 😂

Teaching your grandmother to suck eggs here. But you really need to get to the bottom of your exhaustion.

Have you had a blood test recently at all?

I haven't had a blood test recently.

She'll do it anyway so....

Like me I assume that most people drink it because it helps them to get through the day or helps them to function or helps them be more alert.

Ask if she wants a coffee or should be for the taste.

So decaf or nothing.

I agree with you that the a friend at that age is unnecessary but I lived in European countries for many years and drinking coffee in your teens was normal. But they drank decaf.

I switched to decaf years ago and it tastes no different!

Give her a STRONG coffee it will soon put her off!!

The attraction is probably seeing how much you want/ need it.

You sound really over the top about being "addicted". Just don't have coffee for 2-3 days and it's out of your system, "addiction" over. The absolute drama on here.