To refuse to let DD drink coffee?

[TheKeyToTheJungle]

DD (13) is constantly asking me if she can drink/try coffee. So far I have been saying no because I don't want her to get addicted to it like I am, I have both DD and also a 1yo DS as well as a very demanding job and I just can't function without coffee because I'm always exhausted and need it to function. Coffee helps to keep me alert every day when I'm exhausted, honestly wouldn't be able to function without coffee. DH thinks that I should 'consider' letting DD try it but I'm worried that she will end up addicted like me. Aibu to not let DD drink coffee?

This is a very bizarre thread. I wouldn't be worried at. 13 year old drinking coffee occasionally but if you're concerned, just give her decaffeinated. If you use a pod machine, I would defy anyone to tell the difference, or if you use instant, do what other people have suggested and pour decaffeinated coffee into another empty jar.

You seem to be troubled by your own relationship to coffee. Just stop drinking it. In 3 days, it will be like you never had any.

I can understand about the caffeine issue but I have 3 DSs. Been allowed access to coffee, sugar and fizzy drinks. They are all teens, oldest is an adult now. They self regulate.
Friends of theirs who weren't allowed things, some have gone crazy. Oldest was allowed odd alcoholic drink from 15, he's able to drink sensibly, whereas his friend whose parents said no, are now binge drinking at weekends.

Christ. I wish coffee helped me stay alert. You probably have a placebo effect going on there OP.

The reality is caffeine does very little to most peoples energy levels otherwise we’d all be drinking it by the bucket load.

Let the kid have coffee for god sake. If you restrict and control her life to the limit she will soon be doing much worse than drinking coffee.

According to Johns Hopkins, 4 year olds are allowed to have half a cup of coffee, based purely on caffeine content 😂https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/is-coffee-bad-for-kids

I would actually encourage my daughter to drink coffee whenever she's only enough to request it, but only with plenty of milk and no added sugar. She needs to develop a palate for bitterness which is very effectively at combating excessive sugar consumption. Even if you crave something sweet with coffee, it's much better than eating a sweet treat with a sweet drink.

Unsweetened coffee is infinitely healthier than the bubble teas, Frappuccinos, milk shakes or sodas that tweens and teens would otherwise end up drinking. Many of those drinks contain 50-80g of pure sugar which is horrendous. It's also rarely an isolated treat...many kids see it as a lifestyle drink and are essentially addicted to the sugar inside boba tea.

It's probably more fun and sophisticated for a teen to be a coffee snob. Imagine all their friends going for brightly coloured sugary drinks and your kid being the only one sticking to an espresso macchiato.

my 13 year old loves a coffee 😳

I think you have an unhealthy view of coffee.
My teen occasionally drank coffee that age , things are OK in moderation , Forbidden things become more desirable.

We had a coffee vending machine in the dinner hall, back when I was at school in the 90s .

I mean I think she will be more shaped by your relationship with it.... Surely it's better to normalise it and not have in on a weird pedestal?

My 12 year old likes a coffee. He makes his own using nespresso pods and has a cappucino
usually. But it’s not that often. He went through a phase of needing it in a flask for late afternoon at school but that’s passed.

My DD has the occasional coffee. She likes those instant sachets. She particularly likes it on holiday. She is not addicted. DH is like you when it comes to catastrophising anxiety regarding a cup of coffee - and it drives me a bit barmy.

I would say I'm pretty addicted to coffee (3 cups full caff, 2 decaf per day) but it's not that hard to stop. I've done it several times and I get a few headaches, then it's over. It's really not like giving up smoking or heroine!

I might let DD try a cup of coffee then and just hope that she hates the taste and doesn't want another.

Like me I assume that most people drink it because it helps them to get through the day or helps them to function or helps them be more alert.

I doubt it! I drink a couple of coffees a day because I enjoy the flavour. I think that's the same for the vast majority. Most people DONT feel they need artificial stimulants to get them through the day - that's definitely a you thing.

DS1 was found not to have ADHD back in 2021 @JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam, when he was assessed. I am sceptical though. He's awaiting an ASD assessment. I suspect he has both and the ADHD assessment may be revisited in future. I am one of the hordes of middle aged women who suspect they have ADHD. Maybe feeling sluggish after coffee should be one of the criteria😆😆

My granda had my try coffee when I was younger and I found it absolutely disgusting and haven't touched it since to this day (now 32)

(Sucker for an energy drink though)

I wouldn't give her decaf. It's full of chemicals. Better off with caffeine.

I probably wouldn't let her taste coffee but she probably wouldn't like it. It is an acquired taste.

Because it'll taste like shit.

The majority of people who drink coffee will do so for enjoyment, you make it sound like it's a done deal she will become dependant and addictive, it sounds more about you than her.

OP, you sound almost scared of your addiction to coffee, it's coffee, it's not alcohol. She's a healthy teenager presumably, she's not going to want it to be more alert etc and even if she does its coffee, I think you're feeling scared runs a lot deeper to something else if I'm being honest..

It was never restricted for me and I would have the very occasional cup from when I was around her age. Used it to keep me awake to study when doing A-levels and degree but drunk nothing outside of exam time and only started drinking it daily in my late 20s.

So like millions of others, unrestricted access had absolutely no effect on me. Your reliance on it to function whilst refusing her to have any is a recipe for disaster

It's physically addictive but easy to quit or cut down. Just a headache and a bit of fatigue. Water, paracetamol and sleep will fix it. Limit it to once in the morning and social coffees and it's hardly a big deal for a teen.

I'm hoping DD hates it if I let her try it then. Don't want her to end up like me and getting addicted.

Didn't realise this was about decaf!

My 8 year old has been drinking decaf coffee since he was 6. I let him sip my proper coffee when out and about in the morning but he hates it. I've told him it's decaff only as he needs his sleep. However I drink decaf in the afternoon so he may see it as a grown up drink.
My 10 year old hates coffee but does love a cup of string tea ..again decaff unless first thing in the morning

Oh yes, I definitely drink it for the taste and the warmth. I don't really like tea (Earl Grey is OK). And I hate herbal teas. My house is cold. Coffee keeps me warm and I love the taste.

It's hardly a life time addiction! You can quit if you want. It's not nicotine.