Rude or polite

[Dullardmullard]

I told him no

context is
a man approach me at the bus stop and said excuse me and I said no right away. He then came back and said you could of said I’m not interested.

no meant I wasn’t interested
no meant no

I stand by my no, but some friends/colleagues said I was rude and I don’t think I was.

ive said not interested in the past and got abused verbally.

I normally have my headphones in but I forgot them this morning

Well, whatever he wanted, possibly best he learned early on that he was best to give you a bodyswerve.

Which is rude.

If everyone was like that it would be a weird.

Well I think I would have waited to hear what he was going to say first so making an assumption then just saying No seems a bit rude and abrupt.

Don’t even have to read the first post to tell that you’re rude, as you have been on the following ones too.

👋 to you… and your poor grammar.

Well from your rude responses to people on here then, yes, your colleagues are right you are rude.

I think the way you have responded here shows that you are naturally rude...so you would have always been rude to him.

I assume he was making a pass, asking you out, hitting on you? It takes some men a lot of effort to try that. You could have at least politely said you weren't interested...if he came back for a second go then be rude.

You should have set off a rape alarm as soon as he came within 2m of you. You can’t be too careful - who knows what he wanted to do to you?

Noone should feel the need to be polite to someone trying to pick them up/hassle them for money (etc) but the OP really didn't make it clear that she knew for certain that was going on and I'm still not sure that she was convinced that he was not going to ask about the stop for the number 11 bus (eg).

Given her posts on this thread, I don't actually think clear communication and civility to strangers are her strong points.

Well, I think we can all trust OP's readings of his intentions, given that they turned out to be right. He was a stranger who was obviously sexually interested in her and she was a woman on her own who wasn't interested.

I don't know why so many people are saying "what if he was just going to ask her the time" when she had already clocked that he wasn't going to and events proved her to be correct. I think she was entirely within her rights to make her lack of interest clear.

Over the years I have had people (mainly men) approach me & time and again I have given them the benefit of the doubt (maybe they are just asking the time etc) and it has turned out that they just want to hassle me or sell me something.

When it does I am frequently rude to them. Someone walked over and approached me when I was walking down the street, said something I didn't hear & I barked 'Not interested' and kept walking. He shouted after me 'Are all the women in (town name) as rude as you?'

So: my instinct was right. It is not normal, in a street full of people, for someone to go out of their way to approach a lone woman who is walking and obviously going about her business. Or to approach a lone woman at a bus stop.

I don't blame OP at all for being rude. The 'be polite' brigade on here should consider that concern about politeness can put a woman in danger. I'll be polite when I want to be polite; politeness is for safe places.

well op asked rude or polite-so im going wit rude

never happened to me so cant say wat id do

This is so peak MN!😂

This is very confusing. If someone says "excuse me" I don't assume they're hitting on me. It does sound though like there was some body language that made it clear he wasn't going to ask you if you know when the next bus comes along?

Having said that, you've been very rude on this thread, so perhaps you do have a tendency to jump to rude responses.

OP have you been drinking? your first post doesn't make any sense - did it not post in full?

From what I can make you, some man walked towards you - you shut him down before you had any idea of what he wanted?

Yes that is rude, he may have a question about the bus, time, know you from somewhere etc. By all means say no etc if you want to a question.

You sound very aggressive and angry - or you may be defensive due to previous experience ? Either way your first post may need editing as it seems to be missing some context.

oh dear, the #benice has long been forgotten! coming at this OP from all sides.

My friend and I were approached by a young woman on Saturday afternoon outside a supermarket, she said "excuse me" and proceeded to ask if we were Christians. Now, I am but that's my personal business. We heard her out and then I said - "thanks but we haven't seen each other for a long time and we just want to catch up - have a nice day" she persisted but I reiterated "thanks but we are catching up and I don't really want to share my religious beliefs today, have a nice day" she did ask a couple more questions but we both repeated that we are not prepared to talk to her today "have a nice day". she said thanks and went on her way. No rudeness but it doesn't mean I wasn't irritated by her. Had I been on my own and it was a man and I felt trapped being at a bus stop, if I had previously been approached and it ended badly, if it was dark, if I felt vulnerable for any reason, I might have responded differently, context is everything. Lack of context here incites negative feedback. Also, asking a question and not liking the answer is also going to attract negative feedback OP.

Holy shit @Dullardmullard what the hell am I reading? You weren’t just rude to this man, you sound rude in general.

I have read all your replies, including the first post and it’s clear you completely shut him down without knowing his intentions. You didn’t give the man a chance to let you know why he said excuse me. That most definitely is rude, the rudeness of your replies to others is a whole other issue! You can’t be a very happy person if that’s how you treat others. Well you reap what you sow.

My husband saw a man drop a brown envelope, husband picked it up and went after the man and said, "excuse me you" Man cut him off and said he wasn't interested. DH opened the envelope, it was a big A4 size brown envelope, and it was stuffed full of £10 and £20 pound notes. He stood there for a minute not sure what to do and the man came running back, snatched the envelope and said, "that's mine." and walked off.

People have no manners.

Judging from your opening post and your aggressive and rude tone throughout (especially when told you’re rude), I’d stay well clear of you.

@Livingtothefull You've never had anyone ask you the time, for directions or anything else innocent?

You bark you are not interested in random stranger's faces?

You are rude and odd too.

I’m voting YWBU on the basis that you wrote “could have”…

Aside from that, yes, very rude. What if he was about to say I think you just dropped your purse/ glove/ keys? Manners are free.

Good grief you come across as very rude and argumentative just from reading the comments on here. Most people would allow a person to finish their sentence before shutting them down. He might have had a genuine enquiry, he might have been pointing out you had dropped something etc. Ok you weren't interested, it doesn't make you any less rude for not entertaining basic manners to another human being.
Wearing headphones in public to avoid the possibility of someone daring to talk to you is telling.
Personally, I think it is risky to not have your wits about you when out in public, I've never understood these people who walk around looking at gadgets with their ears stuffed, God forbid there was a crazed knifeman like Australia has seen, you'd all dead before you heard it coming.

I’d have to have been there. If he putting his hands all over you then you weren’t be rude to tell him no, in fact you were being ridiculously polite. I’d have said a lot more and worse things than No.
However if he just said Excuse me and you cut him off with “No” before he even got a chance to speak then you were very rude. Are you that stunning and breath taking you think that any time a bloke speaks to you it’s to declare his undying love and admiration for you.

YANBU to shut down a come on at the bus stop abruptly.

It’s always possible you could have misinterpreted what he was going to say but, frankly, we gave men FAR too much of a margin on this sort of stuff and they need to just stop being entitled arseholes first. Then we can start giving strangers who might or might not be about to come on to us more leeway.

The fact that he came back to you to tell you what form of words he thought you ought to have used to make him feel better about himself goes to show how completely self-centered the action was on his part.

OP was rude to the man for not giving 5 seconds of her time to find out what he wanted, and has been rude to people on this thread by calling posters "dense" and being deliberately obtuse and bolshy.

Verdict: rude

It’s quite unusual for someone to make a romantic overture at a bus stop, with no previous interaction. Did he think you we touting for business maybe?