Rude or polite

[Dullardmullard]

I told him no

context is
a man approach me at the bus stop and said excuse me and I said no right away. He then came back and said you could of said I’m not interested.

no meant I wasn’t interested
no meant no

I stand by my no, but some friends/colleagues said I was rude and I don’t think I was.

ive said not interested in the past and got abused verbally.

I normally have my headphones in but I forgot them this morning

We are not being dense on purpose.
Your first post wasn't very clear.
What was he wanting to say to you?
Was he trying to chat you up?
You still haven't clearly explained and instead called other PP dense.
My conclusion is that you are RUDE.

OP why did you bother posting AIBU?!

OP: was I rude?
MN: yes you were rude
OP: no I fckn wasn’t, read my post

🙄

Let's turn this around. Imagine you as a woman went up to a man said "excuse me?" he turns around and instantly gives a NO. You turn around to walk away and think wow that was rude. So you go back to him to say "you could have just said you're not interested?" He turns around and shouts NO again. Be real your ego would be hurt and you'd think what a stuck up c*.

Yup, rude, but sound like you don’t like that answer.

@Dullardmullard
Being told it's not 'could have', and that it's actually 'could have' is not spelling, it's grammar.

@Dullardmullard
If he was going to 'chat you up' then he's had a lucky escape.

Man here. You can say what you like to him. You knew what he wanted by the way he approached you. You said the right thing, I know because he then came back with the “could have said you weren’t interested” line. Well done you.

I mean I would have waited to see if he wanted the time or something. But you sound rude generally when replying to PPs so 🤷🏼‍♀️

Tbh if someone I wanted to chat up just said "no!" to me that would be the end of it.

Why would I go back?

I'd be hurt that they didn't want to be chatted up by me-but it's no great shakes is it?

So you didn't know what he wanted, you just assumed he was going to ask you out or something? Lol.

Maybe he was wondering if the bus had already gone, or what the time was, or if you'd seen a dog/person/whatever come past, or many, many other things.

It IS rude to say no when someone politely says 'excuse me', but you've been really rude to people on this thread so it's obviously your MO.

@diddl well he did go back in this scenario. I have no idea why as I wasn't there. But OP is weird for even posting it on here. Is that the kind of thing to tell anyone?

Very rude. He could've been innocently telling you you dropped your purse.

Woman here. OP didn't know what he was going to say so she was rude.

To be fair, most of us were thinking the same.

You could also write ‘Could’ve’. Most people say ‘could’ve’ and because it sounds like ‘could of’, many people get confused.

Also, you keep telling people to read your post but you haven’t explained yourself clearly.

Regards,

Henry Higgins

No indeed. Just those who are going above and beyond to insult her, calling a poster a TERF and claiming to be women whilst expressing themselves like over excited young men in their 20s, with more emojis than syllables.

It’s probably rude, yes. However it’s a sign of the times that you need to be so defensive. He’ll survive, don’t give it headspace.

I would wait to hear what he wanted before saying no

Most people would.

If he had started to be a slimeball then you can say no and ignore him. To just say no after excuse me is being very odd.

Yes I read your whole post but the point it you were rude. He COULD have been about to ask if the X bus had come already. You guessed he was going to hit on you, and you may have been right. This time. But maybe not the next guy (or woman) who says 'excuse me'.
Somebody said this to my husband once and all he wanted to say was that she'd left her phone on the table next to where he was sitting.

You were rude, yes - you've been rude on this thread too.

Doesn't really matter - it was a bit of a twat for coming back to tell you so you're even. Sounds like a lot of drama over nothing.

Sorry, OP, your posts are almost incomprehensible.

Definitely rude...but that appears to be your default setting.

@Dullardmullard am I understanding you correctly that you assumed his 'excuse me' was some sort of come on? I could understand if you got that vibe why you'd be wanting to shut him down.

I'd probably have let him at least finish his sentence though.

Why is everyone saying she didn't know what he wanted? He told her what he wanted. He said "excuse me"- he asked her to excuse him, she did not wish to excuse him, so she said no.
Bascially he asked her for her attention for a moment, and she declined to give it. She didn't wish to find out what the next thing he wanted to ask was.

I think OP accidentally posted in AIBU when she meant to post in ‘I am definitely not being unreasonable.’ Easy mistake to make.

Alhough she was undoubtedly rude, and has also been very rude to other posters on this thread, I also think there’s a good chance that the guy in question was attempting a pick-up chat rather than e.g. asking the time. Realistically we can often just pick up the vibes and it’s obvious. So I wouldn’t weep for him.