Rude or polite

[Dullardmullard]

I told him no

context is
a man approach me at the bus stop and said excuse me and I said no right away. He then came back and said you could of said I’m not interested.

no meant I wasn’t interested
no meant no

I stand by my no, but some friends/colleagues said I was rude and I don’t think I was.

ive said not interested in the past and got abused verbally.

I normally have my headphones in but I forgot them this morning

Strange comment.

So I was to wait for him to say what he wanted

Thats what most people do yes.

We all have the right not to engage with strangers (within reason) @Magnastorm, but if I approached someone in the street to ask them something and said "excuse me?" and they barked "no" and then blanked me, I would walk away thinking "rude tw*t!" or "ah maybe MH problems?".

You assumed he was making a pass? he's retort seems to reiterate that, but you come across as rude, standoffish and vain and I don't understand how you expect people to understand your post when you can't string a sentence together. If he was making a pass, seems he had a lucky escape IMO.

You don't need to tell me what women can and can't do, thank you. I am a woman.

Strange man approaches you at bus stop. His body language sets your "avoid" radar pinging. And pp say you should have engaged with him. Whatever happened to the famous mumsnet "No is a complete sentence."

YANBU.

How do you know he was going to be a pest?

I’ve had to speak to strangers and say ‘excuse me’ many times and none have been me being a pest.

Judging by your responses on this thread. You were rude. You are rude. Full stop

OP says the way he approached and his body language. Her self-preservation instinct kicked in and she didn't want to engage with him.

I think we can all be very sure that you are most definitely very rude.

It’s not polite is it? Whether you should have been polite is a different debate.

You don't even know what he was going to say. For all you know he could have been letting you know you had dog shit smeared on your coat. So yes you were rude.

Indeed. This could actually have been a helpful discussion about dealing with unwanted attention that, as your infer, can be quite threatening to lone women. Until it got hijacked by the idiot boys.

I'm really hoping Op has trotted on her merry way with a trail of toilet paper hanging from her knickers 😂

@Dullardmullard Well, yes, I would expect you to wait and see what he wanted eg

Excuse me?
Yes, hello
Can you spare a pound for a phone call>
No, sorry

Er no

So it's fine to be rude and bizarre if it's a person with a penis that you're talking to? I don't think so.

I think if it was obvious he was going to chat up Op it was fine to say no straight away.

Why bother engaging at all?

Rude then, rude now, but guessing you don't care what people on here think, which makes me wonder why you posted at all.

I don’t think you were rude OP. Women dont owe men “nice”. The fact that he came back at you goes to show your instincts were 100% right. Trust your gut and judgement, can’t believe there are so many women on here telling you should hve been more polite to a random man wanting to hit on you at a bus stop, in this day and age, with everything we know now and still have to deal with.

You were rude to him but it's not a big deal. You've been ruder on here tbh.

If he was pestering you then fair enough but if you instantly said no before he’d even asked anything then yes you were rude as you had no idea what he was going to ask. You just presumed and yes you were right but he could have been asking for help etc.
He then returned to more or less tell you that you were rude.

Fair enough you don’t think you were but if everyone else is saying you’re rude then maybe think about it a little more?

I normally wait for their spiel (normally wanting money) then I go "no money, no religion, no thanks". Too old to get chatted up so I know it won't be that! I just hope it isn't asking directions, as I am shit at that!

@Hiddenvoice - totally agree.
Yes, your instincts were nice, but are you just automatically going to say 'no' every time a man approaches you? That is very rude.

Also, having your headphones on can put you in a vulnerable position as you won't be aware of your surroundings and might be more susceptible to an attack of some sort...just sayin'

Very rude.

Seems to be your MO as you've continued to be very rude to people on the thread

Perhaps you need to rethink your communication style all round.

There are a lot of posters thinking OP was rude. They aren't all idiot boys.