Rude or polite

[Dullardmullard]

I told him no

context is
a man approach me at the bus stop and said excuse me and I said no right away. He then came back and said you could of said I’m not interested.

no meant I wasn’t interested
no meant no

I stand by my no, but some friends/colleagues said I was rude and I don’t think I was.

ive said not interested in the past and got abused verbally.

I normally have my headphones in but I forgot them this morning

You were rude, and as your subsequent posts demonstrate, you continue to be rude.

You came here to ask others opinions and can't even be bothered to explain yourself properly, or have a stab at using grammar/punctuation that would help communicate effectively.

Why should people have to read your posts six times to try to work out what the fuck you're on about? Particularly if, when they have a stab at it, you're obnoxious in your response.

So yes, you're rude. And that might be fine, it might even be appropriate sometimes, none of us have any idea in this situation if it was warranted or not, because you were so rude you have no idea what the other person was trying to ask or tell you.

See, I knew you could be a sensible boy if you tried.

You are being rude but why bother asking and then getting annoyed when people point it out

The reason I asked of the op is ok, is as generally people who behave like this in real,life and then on line like the op is, are often deeply unhappy. It’s seldom they are ill mannered oafs who don’t know better.

the op wanted to habe a go at people, she wanted to be rude, and that’s seldom the sign of someone who is happy in themselves.

I am sure that all those saying the OP was rude are themselves unfailingly polite, to all people at all times.

Just like I was when a chugger approached me when I was going to the station to get home at the end of a working day; I was happy to spend half an hour chatting about his work & about the charity (I didn't have anywhere particular to go) and was happily talked into signing up to support it on top of the ones I already support.

Or when another chugger appeared on my doorstep. Or the man selling fish. Or the Tory campaigner. Happy to chat to them for ages rather than be rude, that was much more important than looking after my DS at home.

Or the time when a tourist approached me in a busy street to ask the way somewhere, when I was out running. I was happy to stop (it was evidently not an emergency but I didn't mind) and explain how to get to the park, and chat about him & all the places in our touristy city he wanted to visit. After all, why should he waste time and money on a map and doing his research?

Or the time that a man got chatting to me and told me the religious sect he belonged to (within the first 2 minutes); 'my faith is precious and vital in my life, I wish everyone could have the same'. I happily chatted with him for ages about his religion and yes of course I was really open to being converted.

Or the time when a woman stopped me and exclaimed 'Look! I found this precious jewel in the street. It must be worth a lot of money but I think you should have it. You have such a kind face. Here you are, yes you have it. But if you keep it, do you think you could give me £XXX? That's only fair, after all I found it'.

Oh heck, I wouldn't like to be a boy. They seem to get unamused, rude, serious people shouting 'NO' at them for unknown reasons.

Bizarre post.
If the bloke looked like a beggar then the “ Excuse me” is usually a request for change.

It’s very unlikely a random bloke would be hitting on a woman at a 🚏 bus stop early in the morning.

I don’t think the definition of being unfailingly polite is to stop and talk to strangers for 30 mins if they approach you. A polite no thanks suffices

Rude and her attitude stinks .
Guy got a lucky escape

OP knew straight away he wanted “HER”
She was horrible then went on to tell her colleagues all about how horrible she was
.
Then came on here to tell everyone here .
Gave loads of attitude then left as she had much better things to do with her time .

Whereas you, on the other hand, are the epitome of charm and politeness?

😂

You were rude and for the love of God it is could HAVE. Please can you not dumb down so that our children and grandchildren don't sound thick after they have copied someone who is wrong.

You are a VERY rude person, not just to this man, but to everyone on this thread. Your manner is rude and confrontational. Perhaps this is what your friends think, too.

IMO you framed the question wrongly, OP.

Ask MN 'was I rude?' and you're guaranteed to get a tsunami of complaints from pearl-clutching etiquette specialists wanting to teach you your manners.

Had you said: 'I was rude. I own it and DGAF, because I'm sick of being approached by random male strangers', you'd likely have met with a more favourable response.

How dare you not humour Random Men and join in with some elaborate Pick Me dance?

If you can manage to stand quietly and wait for your bus without the need to bother women, I'm fairly sure no woman would bother you.

Your mistake was saying anything at all to him. In situations like this - and yes, we know when we're being hit on - it's best to blank him, to act like he's not even there. He'll keep talking and then talk a bit louder and maybe try a different language or two but he'll give up soon enough without being offensive. Don't forget those headphones, Op.

You were rude to him.
You're being rude to people on here.
You seem to delight in being rude... so what is the point of your post?

@Dullardmullard @WiddlinDiddlin
I had a man say “ Excuse me” - I ignored him, til he said it again and pointed and said You have dropped a £20 note.
He could so easily have picked up my money and kept it - and I’d only have noticed when I’d gone to buy food.

I was very grateful to him and his honesty.

Not all men have nefarious reasons for saying “ Excuse me”

Once walking by an urban city farm ( new to area) with DS in his buggy an expensive looking car pulled up and said “Excuse me”
This man WAS being nefarious- he asked how much I charged for a BJ.

I was speechless-never having been asked that before- and told him not to be so daft-He drove off and I went into the City Farm and told one of the women there- she said “ This is an area used by working women and punters are always cruising around.

A female friend bought her first house near there and said it was pretty bad back in those days.

Even so- who would do sex work with a baby in tow?!

Since visiting the area 20 yrs later, it feels very different.

Being so good looking and just knowing what a man is gonna say before he says it you are the chosen one.

So when did they let you out.🍿🍿🍿

I do that with door to door salespeople and chuggers. It’s so much easier to just say no before they get a chance to say whatever spiel is about to spew forth.

I think that picking on people's grammar, accusing them of dumbing down and blaming them for making children sound thick is all very - what's the word again? - rude.

Absolutely true.
Why deliberately be antagonistic- The bloke could have launched an attack - things like that do happen.

I'm very surprised by all these comments - clearly OP you picked up something about his vibe and knew he was going to chat you up (given he said about saying you're not interested).

Women should not have to endure approaches by random men. It's not our obligation to hold our tongues and be polite (heaven forbid we're impolite! the horror) until we're absolutely SURE that they're definitely chatting us up in unwanted advances.

I get approached SO often by blokes asking for money, or blokes being creepy and tbh I'd just start with a firm no because whatever they're saying I don't have time to hear it.

God OP, you sound absolutely horrid and I'd say the guy who showed you some polite interest has dodged a bullet.

He merely said "excuse me". Even if he wanted to ask you out on a date or for your number, what's wrong with that?

If you'd heard him out, and you responded with a polite "sorry I'm not interested", and THEN he persisted in harassing you further and refusing to take no as an answer, then fair enough. But how is anyone supposed to couple up with another person unless one of them makes the first move to approach? Of every time a bloke approached me and I instantly shut them down with "No!" I'd be on my own forever.

He wasn't being vulgar, or wolf whistling, or car calling. It was a simple polite "excuse me".

He was right, a friendly "I'm not interested" would have been nicer. He didn't deserve the rudeness imo.

He's right
Your friends are right
Mumsnet majority are right

Go figure!

Maybe learn a little humilty, because you really do come across as arrogant and self important.

I'm always waving the flag for feminism, but not every man who shows interest in getting to know a woman is a prick. He sounded perfectly nice. Even if he wasn't your type, did he really deserve that?!

If it was the other way round you'd think he was a right arsehole.

I can live with that.