Rude or polite

[Dullardmullard]

I told him no

context is
a man approach me at the bus stop and said excuse me and I said no right away. He then came back and said you could of said I’m not interested.

no meant I wasn’t interested
no meant no

I stand by my no, but some friends/colleagues said I was rude and I don’t think I was.

ive said not interested in the past and got abused verbally.

I normally have my headphones in but I forgot them this morning

Oh dear 😑

OP is definitely the real life version of that annoying skit the girl does on "omg why does everyone want to be with me" 😂 bet your colleagues don't even dare glance your way!

what did he want?

I mean yeah saying no, without hearing what someone is about to ask, is obviously rude. Though sometimes rudeness is justified, for instance if he was trying to come onto you/acting creepy. If he just wanted to know directions it's not justified.

Your first post isn’t altogether clear, probably because it’s lacking grammar and punctuation. It sounded as though you shut him down immediately, but you’re saying that he was trying to hit on you.

It might have been more polite to say you weren’t interested when he first spoke to you.

Come on everyone clearly this is the first time someone has approached OP and she's just had to tell us all about it humbly.

Amen. When I'm alone and going about my private business, asking for nothing and bothering no one, I don't want accosting by Random Men.

And it's always the lone female Random Man makes a beeline for, isn't it? If they're that desperate for company or a favour, or are chuggers who simply want to sell you something or mine you for information, why not approach the nearest man?

Rude? Maybe.

But unlike the 'Women Must Be Nice' contingent on MN who frequently pitch up on threads like this to tell other women off, I don't believe rudeness is necessarily the worst sin a female can commit.

The Be Kind brigade can humour these men all they want. I don't want to, and I won't.

Kudos, OP.

At the end of the day, if a stranger wants to say something to you, they just say it. Do you know if the number 6 bus stops here? Can you point me in the direction of the train station? I think you’ve dropped your scarf.

What is the need to have someone fully engaged in a conversation before you even indicate what it’s going to be about, other than making it more difficult to extract yourself without feeling rude? That’s what the expectant “excuse me?” is for.

It’s got nothing to do with thinking everyone fancies you. She didn’t want to be in a conversation with a random man at a bus stop, simple. She declined his effort to say something with her rather than listen to everything he had to say and have to counter, which could then just be argued against. She didn’t want to be in that cycle, and I don’t know why the hell we’ve decided today that women are obligated to “hear out” total strangers trying to talk to them.

This

I think ALOT of people would say "excuse me" before asking a stranger a question actually.

You were rude and are rude on this post.

@Bloopp If he had been leering at her she would have included that in her initial post and subsequent comments, it being very relevant to whether her response was rude or not. She hasn't, because he seemingly didn't. Nobody would ask if shutting down a pervert was rude because nobody in their right mind would think she was in the wrong in that scenario.

LOL at the bird shit comment.

"Your all being dense"

Oh the irony.. .

I've never just spoken to someone. I will always say excuse me first.

It’s not at all unusual if you’re young and pretty.

But what if you did need to ask someone something, and they just said"no" before you had a chance to ask the question?

I think it's pretty rude if you dont know what the person is going to ask you. Andim sure you would feel that way if you were the one asking the question.

Then they said 'no'.

We have no idea what's going on in other people's lives. No one is obliged to interact with us just because we ask them to.

You weren't polite for sure but I'm not sure I blame you for wanting to be annoyed by some randomer.
I hate when people call to the door for stuff, I've worked all day and am trying to entertain kids and cook dinner and some poor guy calls to my door trying to sell me rubbish I don't want and then tries to keep me there for longer, obviously having been told the longer you keep them there the better chance they'll buy, and they're asking me nonsense questions. So I just open the door and say no thanks and close the door again! I don't care if it's rude.

You didn’t even know what he wanted!!

You get cues before they open their mouth so it’s not like you have to shut down every single approach. And OP got this one right, as shown by the man’s entitled come back to her.

Men could clean up their act and then it wouldn’t be an issue at all. There is no reason a woman needs to open herself up to harassment at the bus stop to ensure the few men she misjudges aren’t traumatized.

You sound like a total knob tbh.

Tbf it doesn’t really matter if he wanted the time or to know if the bus had already left or to chat you up, if you didn’t want to speak to him that’s your prerogative. If he finds that rude then maybe he’s not wrong, but you don’t owe anyone politeness and he’s not entitled to your time or attention.

Very rude

There's not much difference between no and not interested, he was just pissed off you didn't comply and looking for excuses to be stroppy about it.

Oh, apologies. I certainty will try and keep a lid on my over excitement. I have a sense of humour you see, and that means that things do amuse me. But I will try harder to be more serious in future. I will aim to be like you and op🙂

You were rude, and your subsequent posts are rude.