To hate having house guests?!

[yellowr0se]

I am not talking about having people over for lunch/ dinner/ drinks/ coffee etc.

I mean people STAYING in the house. Family coming for a multiple nights etc.

I find it overwhelmingly invasive and an incredible energy drain.

Having to make continuous conversation..

Having to offer every time you want to reach for a snack..

Not being able to walk around in underwear/ revealing / old/ strange pajamas

Having to be seen and talk to people first thing in the morning.

Having to "entertain"?

Having to have awkward convos about "what do you want to watch on TV?"

Ughhhh just hate the whole thing. It's not them, it's nearly always me. I guess I am just a very private person. I socialise in very short bursts.

Am I totally unreasonable to feel like this or do others feel the same?

Ps- any tips for how to make it feel more manageable.

Is that you, Mrs Doyle?

Same hate it. I am very private and only feel comfortable with my own family. I try not to do it.

This is why I will never want, need, or attempt to get, a house with a spare bedroom.

I love my friends and family and spend a lot of time with them but the thought of using the loo after they've poo'd, or vice versa, is just unimaginably horrific.

We have plenty of spare bedrooms but I loathe having guests. I'm completely honest about it!

I hate it with a vengeance. My dh loves it ! We compromise but given we live in Spain its not always been easy. When we were first here it got ridiculous with virtually change over weekends!
We moved and its very rare now...thank god.

Same here!

😂

Never happens here. We don't have a spare room and most family and friends live close enough to go home. I couldn't bear it as I need my space in the evenings.

Exactly. We don’t ever do this.

No-one ever steps over your doorstep other than you and (presumably) your other half?

That is pretty unusual TBH. Do you have children?

Why don't you both downsize?

We do this as well.

Oh we are saved from staying in friends houses. We park our campervan on their driveways or nearby and sleep in there. It also allows us to have an extra glass or two of wine and dissect the evening on our own :)

YANBU.

We had some friends do this when we had a celebratory wedding anniversary. They had their dogs with them so it was easier for everyone. We just lent them the front door key for access to the downstairs loo.

Does anyone over the age of 30 really enjoy having people stay?

I love it. Three days is my limit though.

Im worn out with it all.

We have the biggest house within our extended family - which extends as far as Australia, and we live beside the sea and in an AONB, so everyone wants to stay with us

I feel like Im running a B&B between Easter and September and then New year

Im ok when its family, but then if its a niece/nephew/step/grandchild bringing partner/friend or some waif and stray it gets too much for me in that I feel I cant relax in my own home

With family, its you are here, we still have lives to get on with - theres the keys,get on with it. When its non family as well, then the constant "hosting" becomes tiring. Like stepson came last year, with WTB, her parents, her brother and her parents friends - 7 for two nights. Its not just the hosting its the ruddy costs, they were from Oz so felt cold so had the heating belting out all day, the hot water on constantly, the shopping bill and then the worse - the washing after - all that bedding and towels

I moan, but then I hate staying anywhere else unless its a hotel so I can complain if things are not perfect lol. And tbh I do enjoy the company and the fun it all brings. Theres some weeks we ( DH and I ) sit and say DOWNSIZE NOW, then the next we are saying oh so and so are stopping for the night tomorrow

Totally agree! So I don't do either one. Gives me a headache just thinking about it.

I would love to draw a Venn diagram. I bet there is a significant overlap between all the the people who hate guests staying over and all the people who don't answer their doors unless someone has been invited, preferably with 3 week's advance warning.

I will be happily in another bubble, offering an open house to my friends and making endless cups of tea for anyone who pops by on the off chance I am free!

Yes, HATE it. I always feel like I have to be “on” the entire time. And I’m a big chill and relax type of person. One day maybe two is fine but more than that I’m itching for them to go home so I can have my space back.

my sister wanted to come visit for a few days this month and I made up a work excuse cause she was here last September and more than one visit a year for days at a time drains me.

the only way I can handle it if I plan lots of activities so I don’t have to talk, but that’s expensive so I can’t do that for days on end

It depends who it is - my sister in law - love it, I live in a male dominated house and we get on like a house on fire. It's so refreshing to have her stay! She also couldn't care less about tidiness/what I'm wearing/what we're eating etc. Perfect houseguest

Other people? No thank you!

Yep! The only person who stays over is my younger sister and that can only be for one night. After that, I cba. I can never have family members (other than little sis) stay with me. It’s exhausting

No idea. I’ve never had an overnight guest nor have I ever stayed in anyone else’s house. Why don’t they stay in their own house or book a hotel?

I love hosting guests and regularly do. Usually for a weekend - 1-3 nights stay - but sometimes a week especially friends from overseas who use us as a base while they visit or deposit their teens (who are mates with my teen) while they go visiting family. Also hosted a foreign exchange student recently which was fun.

my survival tips include making the guests as independent as possible - own key, run of kitchen, clear understanding they sort out breakfast and lunch, and if they want to do tourism, they research and decide where to go (and we rarely accompany). And claim your private moments to wind down - dog walking, early to bed, gardening.

i do love it though- nothing deepens relationships like a couple of days together and relaxed conversations where you’re not trying to fit it all in. My kids get to spend time with kind, funny, interesting people and it improves their social skills too.

Yep I hate them with a passion. DP and I currently live in a very expensive holiday destination and have had to endure 3 stints of 3 weeks of visitors each (his siblings and parents). I hated. every.single.fucking.minute. I hated their very existence. I hate his sister now. They weren't particularly good guests either. I can't tell them to stay at a hotel as hotels here are over $1000/night. DP is sad to be so far away from my family so I put up with it.

We're moving to the UK next year and I can’t wait. I'm NEVER hosting again. We're looking at houses and DP wants a 4 bed. I say no way. I don't want people to be able to get comfortable at my house for weeks.