For refusing to move in with his previously aggressive dog...

[sarahmoore2]

long story short - partners dog has 'accidently' attacked and killed a small dog 7 years ago. Apparently it was the smaller dogs fault for being yappy? (Pitbull vs chihuahua)

I have a medium sized dog and I do not feel comfortable putting my dog around the Pitbull. Granted it was a long time ago, however I have recently seen the dog snap at peoples hand for no reason (at big events - maybe over stimulated?) and also snap at another dog over a bone.

Unfortunately it is the size that scares me as they are so powerful, my dog would not stand a chance against him. My partner has said we will keep them separate in the same house forever, but I think that sounds totally stressful, especially as we are at the age were kids are our next step. I just do not want to enter motherhood having to look after a baby and worry about separating 2 dogs. I really love my partner, but he has made it very clear that he is not willing to 'give away his dog' even though his parents have offered to take the dog so I can live comfortably (he will still get to see the dog). I have nobody to take my dog, and have no family nearby therefore I would lose contact with my dog if I rehomed him and do not have the option. We are at the stage now where we either get married and move in together, or break up. I am making multiple sacrifices to be in this relationship already; which is why I feel strongly about him making one. AIBU?

@ntmdino no offense taken. I appreciate different perspectives. But even in the scenario where you had a previously aggressive dog that was sometimes unpredictable, and a future wife that had a small dog?

That dog killed another dog for making noise.

Imagine if a person killed another person for making repetitive loud noises, they'd be beyond unreasonable. That pit bull should have been euthanized when it happened.

Dogs always being separated, away from their owners for lots of that time is incredibly unfair on those animals too. It's no quality of life. How would they get walked? You'd have to do it separately at different times, it's totally unfeasible.

Anyway, you've said multiple times How can I trust... I can't respect... etc.

On that basis alone your relationship is dead. You can't have a relationship without trust or respect, and you should trust your judgement here.

You said the dog is 9, I doubt the breed of dog lives very long so I'd just wait it out until the dog dies.

Totally on your side, I had a chihuahua which didn't like my son when he was born - dogs typically are more protective of kids if they've come into the child's life as a puppy, not the other way around. I gave the dog to my sister and it was all absolutely fine, it's insane he's not taking relatives up on that offer!

I think I’m conflicted because some people are saying the commitment to the dog is great and they would chose there dog but then other people are saying his judgement is off and he’s selfish. It’s confusing but I guess as much as you love a dog safety and common sense for all (not just you and your dog) needs to come into play.

To my mind, if I've committed to a responsibility for another life, then it's just that - not just something that'll do until something better comes along and the two aren't compatible.

There are many potential future wives/husbands out there, and I'll live longer than my dog...who's already here.

But choosing his dog if he’s at all sane means also choosing for you not to move in and not to try for a baby. Choosing his dog in these circumstances means choosing for your dog and any hypothetical baby to be at risk of being savagely mauled to death by teeth and claws. Thats not a responsible dog owner, thats an appalling human being.

@Codlingmoths he would say he doesn’t think there is a risk if they are never around each other.

But he would have to take complete responsibility that his dog is always completely unable to access any space your dog or baby is in. 100% accuracy on closing the right doors, gates, never leaving a door open behind you as you push through it carrying 10 shopping bags, then a child would get old enough to open doors… hes just saying stuff, he doesn’t in any way mean that he will take that responsibility.

No way would I move in with him. Even if his current dog were guaranteed to be out of the picture in the near future (either through rehoming with his parents or because it dies), I wouldn't want to tie myself to him. What's to stop him getting another dangerous dog? He's already shown that he has a skewed perspective and an inability to recognise (or care about?) the threat his pet poses to others. The dog could hurt or even kill you, too, you know. It's simply not worth the risk, imo.

There are other men out there who wouldn't expect you to risk your dog's life (or the life or safety of a potential future child).

How committed to the dog is he really?

Is he walking it several times a day? Has it been trained? Does he take it to the vet regularly? Has it been desexed?

This partner of yours sounds like an absolute wanker. Men that buy these big aggressive dogs almost always are weak, useless men who see the dog as an extension of their dick.

Hardly a man to want to be with 🤮 Pathetic really.

But hey ho he's putting his dick extension before you. Really tells you everything you need to know about your future.

To blame the small dog for its own death is lunacy. This alone should tell you to NEVER move in with this man.
If his dog attacked your baby would it be the baby’s fault?

tell him that you love him very much but can see that priority is his dog (despite his parents kind offer to have him) and as a result you’re ending the relationship. You’re not prepared to compromise on your dogs safety, your comfort or potential child’s safety. He’s in denial about the risk and gaslighting you, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy future relationship.

My sister and bil have a border collie. Sweet natured(but one man) dog. Except over food. She’s attacked my pup for being near her food and bit my sil twice when she went towards her food. Second time bil, who loves the dog, was in the car to the vets to have her put down. Sis begged him not too. Luckily no kids about. Imagine that but twice as big and powerful. Bil is knows that as much as you love them, humans come first. Ask yourself if your bf thinks the same. It should have been put down for killing the small dog.

Pitbulls are banned in the UK? Call the police and they will dispose of it. Find a new partner

@Grumppy OP has confirmed she is not in the U.K. and pitbulls are not banned where she is. I'm picturing redneckville unnided states of 'murica.

@sarahmoore2

OP I would have backed off already at a pitbull "accidentally" attacking and killing a smaller dog. That chihuahua must have felt like a rag doll in the jaws of such a powerful animal.

he just says we dont have kids yet so why would he think about that

I think you need to stop listening to what this complacent man says and listen to your own good common sense plus your gut reaction.

You know the scenario of moving in with him is highly unlikely to work a) for you, b) for your own dog and c) why would you think about having a baby in this environment with a man who's only thought of himself and his dog. The first "accident" could be catastrophic for your child.

You also say:

Granted it was a long time ago, however I have recently seen the dog snap at peoples hand for no reason (at big events - maybe over stimulated?) and also snap at another dog over a bone.

You know what you need to do - why are you trying to second guess yourself? 🌹