For refusing to move in with his previously aggressive dog...

[sarahmoore2]

long story short - partners dog has 'accidently' attacked and killed a small dog 7 years ago. Apparently it was the smaller dogs fault for being yappy? (Pitbull vs chihuahua)

I have a medium sized dog and I do not feel comfortable putting my dog around the Pitbull. Granted it was a long time ago, however I have recently seen the dog snap at peoples hand for no reason (at big events - maybe over stimulated?) and also snap at another dog over a bone.

Unfortunately it is the size that scares me as they are so powerful, my dog would not stand a chance against him. My partner has said we will keep them separate in the same house forever, but I think that sounds totally stressful, especially as we are at the age were kids are our next step. I just do not want to enter motherhood having to look after a baby and worry about separating 2 dogs. I really love my partner, but he has made it very clear that he is not willing to 'give away his dog' even though his parents have offered to take the dog so I can live comfortably (he will still get to see the dog). I have nobody to take my dog, and have no family nearby therefore I would lose contact with my dog if I rehomed him and do not have the option. We are at the stage now where we either get married and move in together, or break up. I am making multiple sacrifices to be in this relationship already; which is why I feel strongly about him making one. AIBU?

Absolutely no way.

Oh darling. Darling. Darling.

I wish you had a good mother who would come in and swoop you away from this awful relationship.

This has nothing to do with dogs and everything to do with him being a shit partner and definitely not someone you should move in with never mind to have children with.

This really stood out for me I am making multiple sacrifices to be in this relationship already

Why are you doing this? You can can get someone much better than him. You deserve much better than him.

Believe me. Please.

Or you'll be on here in a couple of years complaining he wakes you up to clean dog sick.

Nip it in the bud now!!! Walk away. No run! Run as fast as you can.

With my behaviourist hat on (and im sure you've posted about this before?!)...

Whilst there may be good, understandable reasons for each individual event, which could be addressed with the aid of a behaviourist...

Not on your nelly. Not if you paid me. Not if the dog were made of cake. No way would I move myself and my dogs in with this dog.

Because whatever the dog has or has not done, whatever behaviour he has displayed... the much more crucial factor is the behaviour his OWNER displays.

He isn't taking it seriously.
He genuinely believes that the dog will just 'get used to' another dog, a child etc etc.
He seriously thinks that living with a split household, with a dog that can NEVER meet another dog, or potentially a baby, is a reasonable way to live.

It absolutely isn't and in my experience (and thats 20+ years of working with dogs and people) it is a recipe for disaster.

He will not do the work necessary, if he was going to, he already would have and most of the incidents you mention would not have happened.
He will not take it seriously - he already isn't.
Management on the level he is suggesting, will fail. Guaranteed at some point, it fails and when it fails... someone gets hurt, a dog dies.

It is not worth it. Live seperately. Ideally, leave him for someone who is less of a twat, but certainly if you stay with him, live seperately.

Take a look at the "BanPitbulls" page on reddit - so many harrowing first hand accounts of people and pets whose lives have been destroyed by pitbulls. Other dogs, children and the elderly are particularly vulnerable, and the breed is known to turn seemingly without any warning whatsoever.

Why has he got a pitbull? They are illegal surely.

Oh and plenty of stories from people who have unsuccessfully tried to do as he suggests and keep dogs apart in the same house. One slip up can be deadly for the dogs and incredibly dangerous for people who try to break them apart.

I would never have a baby living with that dog. This is your hill to die on.

If you really want to stay with this man then you just can't live with him. So decide if he's not willing to regime the dog, if you'd rather leave him or have a baby but have him living away from you

I would rather have a baby with someone more responsible who was able to make compromises

I’m struggling to comprehend why you are in a relationship with such an irresponsible moron. You need to raise your bar, seriously, the man is a walking red flag.

This with bells on ^
Don’t even think about your 2 dogs under same roof let alone a baby between you.
Dear God! Are you mad?

Do not have kids with this man. I can’t believe he said he would train the baby to leave the dog alone. He’s a joke.

@VJBR i know, it’s like the dog comes before the child. It’s mind blowing.

@VJBR but he would say I sound like the crazy one, that I am trying to imply that he would put the dog first. When I say he is choosing the dog over me he literally makes me think I am crazy and laughs and says do I hear myself!!

It’s mind blowing it’s even more mind blowing that you want to be in a relationship with this imbecile.

I wouldn't move in with him or have children with him, unless he got rid of the dog.

Is the dog a pitbull OP? Ie an illegal dog?

In any case, as hard as this is, it’s surely closing time for this relationship. Thankfully before a tragedy happened - or you lost your mind worrying and trying to prevent one!

He needs to give this dangerous dog to a shelter. His parents won’t be able to keep your kids safe from the dog. He is putting his dog before you and future family. Time to tell him enjoy life with his dog and find someone worthy of you.

Do you want a baby with someone who prioritises his aggressive dog over you and his future children?

I just do not want to enter motherhood having to look after a baby and worry about separating 2 dogs.

Why the fuck are you worried about having to separate two dogs if you have a baby?

What you should be worried about is a baby in a house with a Pitbull with a history of aggression.

Do not move in with this man until his dog is destroyed or dead. Definitely don't have kids with him.

Break up. His dog killed another and somehow it's the little dog's fault. Same thing will happen when (not if) it attacks yours, or you, or any child you have. You can't do this to your dog, or yourself.

Is his dog one of those that's been banned? I wouldn't have anything to do with a man who kept a pit bull, let alone one that's already killed another animal.

No way. I'm with you. His dog is the danger and should go to parents.

It's obvious that his dog is a red line for you. You are right to be worried about your own dog, keeping the two dogs apart in the house sounds very stressful and unsustainable. It's no way to live, either for you or your dog. If he's not willing to give up the dog, you can either stay together but live apart or break up. That's ultimately a decision for to make OP.

You can't possibly have a baby or your own dog in a house with a dangerous dog. I'd be worried about you living with that dog as well.

Your boyfriend has no empathy, no common sense and is actually really stupid.

His actions will lose somebody's life

How are you still dating a man who prioritises a dangerous animal that has already killed another dog? Dump his deranged ass. He's a menace.

How did his pitbull escape being put down after killing the smaller dog??

You've given the context yourself in your posts

The man has a dangerous dog, he thinks a baby/child should be trained not to bother the dog, the dog has previous form, the man is prioritising the dog over you . Etc etc