AIBU for paying child caused damage out of wedding gift money?

[Toffifee1]

Let me start by saying i will absolutely always offer or even insist to pay for damage that my child (or I, I‘m clumsy) caused. But this one i thought was unnecessary.

My DC accidentally broke a plate - a regular, plain, rented plate, nothing fancy, no family heirloom - at a wedding. I apologised and cleaned it up. I did not offer to replace it because it was just a plate at a wedding venue, i thought those damages were kind of included.

Additional info: I know the groom was trying to safe every penny in advance of the wedding while the bride wanted everything extravagant and chic and the pair asked for money as gifts. The wedding was at an expensive instagram-worthy location(castle) but they saved money on everything regarding the guests like low budget food(not even enough) and few drinks.

The groom asked me to replace the plate in front of all the other guests. I was honestly a bit taken aback as i still had the envelope with enough money to more than cover my meal in my purse.
So i reached into my purse, took the envelope, took one of the two 100£ notes out and handed it to him saying „This should cover it, you can give me the change later.“

So basically everyone including the groom realised that i just reduced his gift money. Was i being unreasonable?

You weren't the asshole. Sounds like the wedding planning gotcha bit much for them but that's not your fault.

He was rude and you were ruder.

I think most of the guests would‘ve swapped place willingly!

You absolute legend 👏👏👏👏

You’ll be Bored Panda famous one day

Good for you!!

What do you suggest she should have done then? You say go high, but I can’t think of anything lower than letting him walk all over her and letting him belittle her.

OP, I think I would have been tempted to give him one x £100 note, told him to pay for the plate out of that and to 'keep the change - for your wedding gift' and then put the envelope with the second x £100 note back in your bag.

If your daughter had run amok smashing glasses and plates I could understand it, but for one plate? From the sound of it, there wasn't much food to put on the plate anyway 😂

edited for typo

I would‘ve taken an unreasonable vote but i was polite and apologetic and simply took the money that i still owned as i hadn‘t gifted it yet to pay him.. unreasonable maybe but rudeness is about how it was delivered and i was embaressed and did this quietly but everyone around was unfortuneately already watching..

In catering, one broken plate is nothing. It's to be expected and will be factors into rental costs etc. They will have spares.
In any event, even if the bride and groom were asked to pay a fee, what is the fee for one player likely to be? Pennies? A few pounds?
He was an arse hole and I hope he feels ashamed aswell as £100 lighter.

I hope you got a round of applause. What a twat

You’re my hero! That was f genius!!!

It was a lot less heroic and a lot more painfully embaressing quiet than everyone here imagined but it was all eyes on us from the moment the plate fell and some people helped handing me napkins to clean it up and thats how so many people heard and saw the rather quiet exchange between the groom and i.

I’m glad that he has now apologised!

Imagine getting married and you see your new husband behave like that.

@Toffifee1 yoir response was awesome! He could have asked you in private not call you out in front of everyone.

I bet he only called you as someone in the family recognised this thread and then and realised they were dicks.

I kinda feel sorry for him now I've read updates ....

Your response was absolutely spot on. I’d have loved to have seen that.

Me too!

Brilliant, OP 🙌🏻🙌🏻

Don’t feel sorry for him. He was rude.

Keep your money. He’s probably realised a quick apology can get him £100

That's brilliant

I love your style

YANBU the venue has insurance and spares because these things happen! Plates can break in the dishwasher, dropped by wait staff or from the chef having a tantrum. It’s just a plate.

Excellent response. I’m sure several guests are secretly in awe of your response.

Since he's family, and he has apologised, I'd probably still give him the full amount you were planning to gift him in the first place. If he normally has a good sense of humour I'd get one of the wedding photos printed on a plate and send it as an extra gift, but I suspect that might be taken the wrong way so you'd want to be very sure he'd think it was funny.

Sounds like a lot of unnecessary faff, when two fifties or five twenties does exactly the same job - especially if the PP's experience is universal that many shops don't accept them, so you have to take them back to the bank again to swap them for smaller denominations!

Not quite the same thing, but it reminds me of an old (Paul Merton) episode of Room 101, with Sanjeev Bhaskar as the guest. He complained about when grandparents would give him a postal order for £1, from which he had to pay for a bus fare to go to the post office to cash it and then also pay for a thankyou card and a stamp to post it, all of which cost him significantly more than £1! He had to send effusive thanks to somebody for effectively wasting his Saturday and costing him money!

I bet you £50 they don't make ten years together

😬

Oh please don't feel sorry for the twit.

The MH excuses are pathetic and come out when people know they have been stupid. A "get out of jail free" card. Apparently...

Using it negates ANY sympathy