AIBU for paying child caused damage out of wedding gift money?

[Toffifee1]

Let me start by saying i will absolutely always offer or even insist to pay for damage that my child (or I, I‘m clumsy) caused. But this one i thought was unnecessary.

My DC accidentally broke a plate - a regular, plain, rented plate, nothing fancy, no family heirloom - at a wedding. I apologised and cleaned it up. I did not offer to replace it because it was just a plate at a wedding venue, i thought those damages were kind of included.

Additional info: I know the groom was trying to safe every penny in advance of the wedding while the bride wanted everything extravagant and chic and the pair asked for money as gifts. The wedding was at an expensive instagram-worthy location(castle) but they saved money on everything regarding the guests like low budget food(not even enough) and few drinks.

The groom asked me to replace the plate in front of all the other guests. I was honestly a bit taken aback as i still had the envelope with enough money to more than cover my meal in my purse.
So i reached into my purse, took the envelope, took one of the two 100£ notes out and handed it to him saying „This should cover it, you can give me the change later.“

So basically everyone including the groom realised that i just reduced his gift money. Was i being unreasonable?

I would have gave gone Greek and smashed everyone's plates.

Then feigned innocence... I'm so sorry, I'm sure you said.. Huh deaf as post me.

I've read all your updates.

You could have cut the guy some slack for being stressed. It was his wedding day after all. I think you were really spiteful and your disdain for these people really comes across.

I took it as being Euros.

I’m not the OP so I’m not sure what you mean?

I’ve been married twice and at no point did I find my wedding so stressful that I’d ask a guest (also a cousin, apparently) to pay for a broken plate 😆

Doesn’t seem like a very joyous union, tbh.

He got back what he gave out. Serves the fucker right.

You took it wrong.

Hth

I would have paid big money to see the face of that groom.

You are brilliant!

You've probably ruined your chances of being invited to his next godawful wedding.

Oh dear what a shame.

How convenient that he has now talked about mental health problems.

And I feel sorry for this South American bride who doesn’t speak much English and who doesn’t earn much, sounds like she will be dependent on him.

She's south American and he's Scottish. I think he may have bitten off more than he can chew there

He's a cheeky fecker.
You spend so much to attend weddings these days between travel, potential accommodation, drinks, gift, etc. It was very poor form on his part. You're a legend for doing this.
And in the £100 note drama, can confirm we have them in NI too.

He’s a dick. No crockery hire service is going to blink over one smashed generic plate. An expectation for the odd breakage here and there will be built into the hire costs. The clause he refers to would only be enacted if there was a proportion not returned for whatever reason, which is different to maybe 2 broken plates. That’s common sense. So he was being a dick. I’d just leave him with the initial 100. I think the only reason he’s apologised is so you will hand ver the other 100. I wouldn’t bother.

Bit of an aggressive reaction for a wedding imo. Though he was obviously wrong to call you out, especially in front of people, people get so stressed on their wedding day and it might have been a bit of a straw that broke the camels back thing. He was probably on red alert for extra costs if you say he's been trying to budget for it. Also as an aside I really hate the sneery way people say 'Instagram worthy' in this case about what I assume is a young women trying to have a wedding she wants. People have been getting married in lovely venues since the beginning of time. It's nothing to do with instagram. I'm sure all the guests got to enjoy being somewhere special too.

Good for you OP for having the balls to do this and call out his behaviour in such a great way.

How is it not painfully obvious to posters that this didn't happen in the UK, the OP is not from the UK, and lots of details have been changed, so really can't possibly be outing on this site.

Lol at the £100 thread derailment. For those asking £50 notes in Scotland are common. I work in a bar on weekends and don't even glance at 50 anymore than I would a 20. I'll be given at least one per shift normally. Especially on a Friday night. £100 notes less common but we do accept them. I'd probably mention it to the manager! Not sure why, if people see something that sounds unusual they don't do a quick Google rather than stating with confidence that this does not exist 😆.

OP - I'd not give the second £100. All the excuses sound like a sob story to me tbh after he'd been made to apologise

I think you were a star.
I mean if the plate needed replacing there thousands of way to tell you that without being in front of the rest of the people. I'm sure you gladly would cover it if he didn't make a show of it.
That is why I give you five stars. Well done.

It was also confusing to many of us with the '£' sign being placed after the amount.

In England, we are used to seeing it before the numbers - but this too may be different in Scotland, so I'm not going to make any more assumptions.

To be fair, you've said that you would mention it to the manager as something unusual, and others upthread have said that shops don't accept them, so they have to go to the bank to swap them for smaller denomination notes; or that they have to be ordered specially in advance with the bank.

Those of us who were ignorant of their existence now accept that we were wrong, but it hardly sounds like they are a common part of everyday life, even in Scotland.

At any rate, it sounds like any banknote counterfeiters wanting to maximise their 'earnings' now know that heading north is where it's at!

if i ever open another thread here, i‘ll be sure to mention a 1£ or €1 note or maybe a 500£$ with the €$£ on the wrong side of the number 😆

i worked at a wedding venue and the plates / glasses are quite literally ‘throwaway’ they get chipped, stained and stolen.

does the groom own the venue? 😂 and even if he did he should know they are quite literally <50p each.

I hope you used the other £100 to buy the hungry and thirsty guests a drink.

Can't stand stingy catering.

This would be a normal amount in Ireland for a wedding.

I'm guessing she's right not to be.

Maybe the issues only arose at the wedding...