AIBU for paying child caused damage out of wedding gift money?

[Toffifee1]

Let me start by saying i will absolutely always offer or even insist to pay for damage that my child (or I, I‘m clumsy) caused. But this one i thought was unnecessary.

My DC accidentally broke a plate - a regular, plain, rented plate, nothing fancy, no family heirloom - at a wedding. I apologised and cleaned it up. I did not offer to replace it because it was just a plate at a wedding venue, i thought those damages were kind of included.

Additional info: I know the groom was trying to safe every penny in advance of the wedding while the bride wanted everything extravagant and chic and the pair asked for money as gifts. The wedding was at an expensive instagram-worthy location(castle) but they saved money on everything regarding the guests like low budget food(not even enough) and few drinks.

The groom asked me to replace the plate in front of all the other guests. I was honestly a bit taken aback as i still had the envelope with enough money to more than cover my meal in my purse.
So i reached into my purse, took the envelope, took one of the two 100£ notes out and handed it to him saying „This should cover it, you can give me the change later.“

So basically everyone including the groom realised that i just reduced his gift money. Was i being unreasonable?

😂😂😂

Not really, it’s ridiculous for a groom to ask a guest to oh for a broken plate in front of other guests. Even if he was such a cheapskate he could ask later or in private so in my opinion her response was appropriate.

You are classy LEGEND OP

Anyone else starting to think after a while on MN that weddings just shouldn’t happen?

Honestly, the drama of the what’s app group to borrow things, the 25p rental plate … The whole wedding industry has turned weddings into something so far away from what they should be in spirit - then social media put the final boot in.

The groom was most peculiar to do as he did, but after all it was his wedding day so it was probably a bit of an overreaction to call him out so publicly. Couldn’t you have just said I’m very sorry, let me know the cost? I’m sure the other guests would have thought more highly of you - “poor lady, it was only a child and a cheap plate .” It’s only MN audiences that love a slap or a put down like that. In reality they are just stooping and a bit cringe.

Some people just aren't able to comprehend anything outside their own teeny tiny world.

They don't in England, it they do elsewhere

1st part: Couldnt agree more!
2nd part: thank you for your opinion. I asked because my gut told me that i wasn‘t as nice as i could‘ve been. Then again they‘ve taken and taken and taken and i propably should‘ve put my foot down way esrlier and less public, i was ob the spot and angry about the embaressment this added to my childs mess

He was very rude to do that. You were also very rude. You clearly don’t like them or approve of their wedding choices.

I agree with the poster above that it’s only on MN that rude put-down responses like yours are cheered, in real life people would cringe to see that play out. A shame that he spoiled the wedding with his behaviour and a shame that you joined him in that.

I never knew Scotland had £100 notes.

Are they as silly about accepting them as people are about accepting £50 notes in England? I don't know why we have them as nobody likes accepting anything over £20.

Misses point of thread completely. I also like your style OP! What a miserable git. A broken plate is a cost of doing business and it would have been outrageous of the Castle to demand payment from you or him.

Sometimes you have to meet rudeness with a certain level of rudeness.

I know this is off point but
£200 for a wedding present.!
Is that what people give these days.

Ps well done OP, love the way you dealt with the situation.
Think I’d be keeping that other £100 note now though

You think he spoiled his wedding over this behaviour? And that she was complicit in spoiling the wedding? Fucking lol.

Yes, I presume the toddler dropped his Chablis

I think you handled it marvellously - he should have known not to demand you pay for that publically, and he should have known that a single broken plate/glass/yacht/castle would not incur huge fines in the first place. His mental health issues are NOT an excuse to be monumentally humiliating and rude to a GUEST, in front of all the other guests!

That said he is family, I'd probably still send the intended gift and leave it at that, I think your response in the moment was sufficient!

I honestly can't believe that the venue would have even bothered mentioning a broken plate but I would have said to the groom, I will talk to the hotel and settle it. I think that was a bit unneccessary though mentioning it in front of the rest of the party...

I don’t blame you for not reading all the updates, but the dishes were rented from a seperate company, not the venue and they didn‘t even charge for the broken plate (which the groom found out later).

Nice one...I think you played a blinder to be honest 🥰

Bloody well done. I could only dream of such a clap back!

Oh friends son courted a Brazilian, what a firecracker she was. She cleaned him out then told him to ask his parents for more money. When no more money was forthcoming she dumped him. Broke his heart.

That’s a hideously sad story.

Not at all lovey, the way it was written as 100£ seemed odd, in all parts of the UK!

I would be the bigger person here and give him the money you were intending to. He's learnt his lesson and you haven't lost more than you were willing to give.

Asking people to bring plates of food to help out isn't something I think is a bad thing. I've been to a wedding where everyone was asked to bring a plate of food of some kind. Weddings should be within people's means and people should have the wedding they can afford. It's the event that's important, not how flash it is.

I do agree that making a fuss about a plate wasn't necessary but he's apologised about making the wrong call at the time. I wouldn't let it colour the future relationship and would try to move past it, assuming no other significant issues. Obviously you're important enough to them to have received an invitation in the first place.

I’ve read all your updates.
He’s still an arse and I applaud you.

You played an absolute blinder! Who actually charges a child for breaking a regular plate.