friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

[Bigbusheyeyebrows]

My friend is single and will be child free bank holiday weekend while her (practically adult) children are at their dads. She has suggested me and her going away for the weekend

AIBU to think she's BU by asking her me to go away with her for the whole weekend, when I have a partner and younger (12, 14,15) DC at home ?

"Sorry partner & DC, amuse yourselves for the 3 days. I'm off for a jolly from the Friday. See you Monday bank holiday evening sometime"

I think it's out of order for me to just bugger off the whole 3 days and for my friend to think this is OK/expect me to go.

No. It’s a nice idea of hers.

Why is it mean though?
I honestly don't get it!
You say yourself that you don't really do anything special on Bank Holidays, or have any expectations of them.
I'd understand if you usually do something special on them.
If you're just pottering around at home, there's no reason you can't go
Unless you don't want to which is also absolutely fine
Just say thanks but no thanks nicely to your friend if you don't want to, I honestly don't get the drama

I would prefer to stay with my family - not gonna lie I agree with you
but you are being unfair for thinking your friend is unfair for asking .

YABU and very weird.
She asked.
You don't want to go.
Just say no, thanks, I've got plans with the family for the Bank Holiday weekend
The End.

YABVU. It was an invitation.

If you don't want to go or can't you decline. 'Thanks for asking, but it's not convenient for me'.

You sound very hard work, deciding she's out of order! Who knew it was offensive to ask someone if they'd like a weekend away?

If you don't want to go say so. But to have this attitude of how wrong she is says far more about you then it does about her.

So don't go.

Op you really got a bashing. I don't get why ppl are so shocked, you're just thinking of your family

no one is questioning the decision to stay with family - it is OPs claim that her friend is completely out of order for daring to ask her if she fancied a long weekend away. Maybe the friend was thinking she would like a break from the dh & dc?

Sounds like it was just a suggestion. You are massively over reacting. Just say you can't go & leave it at that.

She is not unreasonable to ask but you can just say no

You're definitely a "But I have a partner, so I can just drop my friends" type, aren't you.

It seems like bank holidays hold a really special place in your heart OP. Maybe you and your fella don't get much leave together, and this is one of the few days you do? With the kids off school as well? If you like to keep bank holidays as special times when you do stuff together, then obviously that's fine.

However, most people don't feel the same about bank holidays (as you can see from this thread). So I don't think your friend is in the wrong, because she had no way of knowing you would feel this way......

This post is very contradictory:

have family at home and cannot just swan off
is the opposite of:
I can go if I want

It is interesting you have got so cross with being asked. Perhaps you are angry with your friend because you feel you can't go, and her asking has revealed it to you.

Your friend is right toa sk you if you want to do something, and it is fine to say yes please or no thank you, as you wish.

No, me too.

Hold on, let's see if I've got this:

You think your friend should not have asked you in the first place, because she should have realised or known that you think (have the opinion) that its mean and selfish to go away on a BH with mates, if you have family at home.

Is that right?

If so, just tell her that. 100% guarantee she will never ask you again.

How strange I'm going away early may bank holiday, with friends, I have a five year old, see him every day, he'll be fine with his dad

I think it's really odd that your question was whether she was being unreasonable to ask you. As if she's put you in some sort of difficult position or caused drama somehow.

It would have made more sense to ask 'AIBU for feeling it would be selfish for me to go away during a bank holiday' because while the answer would still have been 'no, absolutely not if you wanted to' at least it would been a question about your own behaviour.

But to have questioned whether she was "unreasonable" to ask you is absolutely bizarre, and comes across as if you are judging her somehow.

Sorry OP, you're bonkers!

It's a lovely thing for your friend to do to ask you if you fancy a weekend away.

It's up to you if you'd prefer to stay at home looking after a grown man and three practically grown up children. If that's what you'd prefer, just decline the kind invitation from your friend.

I see no reason whatsoever that all 8 bank holidays every year need to be preserved for family time. TBH, the teens will probably be happiest left to their own devices anyway!

Unless she’s asking you to go away for Christmas then I don’t understand this “bank holiday” drama at all.

Loads of people go away for weekends and leave their partners and kids to it.

you could compromise - leave after lunch one day get back early afternoon next day?

Massive overreaction. Your teenagers won’t care it’s a BH weekend. It’s hardly like you have 3 toddlers at home.
your friend was nice to ask, wish I could go!

I know what you are saying OP.
We see weekends and bank holidays as family time and l would feel a bit bad going off with a mate for a whole weekend too.

What would you be doing on this particular BHol wkend that you wouldn't do on another weekend? There'll be another BHol along soon. You can spend that one with your family. Soon enough your teens are going to want to spend the BHol with their friends. Don't make them feel that they're selfish to want to go spend time with friends rather than spending the weekend with you.

Ooooooooh. I get it.

YOU have a family, SHE is a single mother with children who will be with their father.

Your relationship and children are sacrosanct, and she's just a random with time to kill who had the termerity to invite you along on her feckless time to herself.

You are not covering yourseof in glory in how you speak about her commitments and yours, OP.

You might have a point if you didn’t go off for 2 weeks every year without your family.

I’m guessing you don’t go away with this friend, hence your outrage at her daring to ask you.