friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

[Bigbusheyeyebrows]

My friend is single and will be child free bank holiday weekend while her (practically adult) children are at their dads. She has suggested me and her going away for the weekend

AIBU to think she's BU by asking her me to go away with her for the whole weekend, when I have a partner and younger (12, 14,15) DC at home ?

"Sorry partner & DC, amuse yourselves for the 3 days. I'm off for a jolly from the Friday. See you Monday bank holiday evening sometime"

I think it's out of order for me to just bugger off the whole 3 days and for my friend to think this is OK/expect me to go.

Also it seems strange to say you go away with friends for two weeks every year but Bank Holidays are sacred. Surely if you both use two weeks leave for holidays with friends that leaves you nothing for family holidays?

It's a bank holiday not Christmas.
Don't you ever go away on your own? I love a weekend away with friends.

Your feelings are your problem, not your friends.

As someone who also has a husband and three kids (2 are a lot younger than yours) and is going away with friends for bank holiday weekend I think you are a bit odd to think your friend is cheeky to ask. I have long weekends away with friends at least twice a year.... DH has a 5 day trip away every year to do a long sports weekend. It's fairly normal for most couples imo.

Your children are or are nearly teenagers? Why can't they cope without you for a weekend and why can't your friend suggest it?

You go away for two weeks, long haul, without your partner & DC? So leaving them behind to cope alone isn't an issue. That kills your 'can't swan off' argument, sorry.

Have you considered your friend might want to go away occasionally?

Personally I'd love a friend who thought enough of me to me to go away, DC free, for a few days. I've tried for years, but no one ever wants to go, so I've not had a child free night away since DC was born.

Poor friend, thought she was inviting you to a weekend away. I’m sure she didn’t realise how important bank holidays are to you!!

What she is suggesting is fab - a mini break!
no issue at all with the bank holiday .

She's done absolutely nothing wrong. She asked, you don't want to go. Not a massive issue. She hasn't been offensive after you've said no.

I personally see no issue with a trip away with a good friend.

You happily leave them for 2 WEEKS to go long-haul, but 3 nights is unreasonable because it’s a bank hol? You realise this doesn’t make any sense right?

Your friend sounds lovely and you sound… well, a bit odd.

The “how dare she” tone of your posts comes across as somewhat mean too. It is a very normal thing to do, as you can see from the majority of the replies. Not at all selfish.

Your friend only asked and it’s just for three days. I imagine as a single parent she often does not have the chance to go away and the bank weekend somehow worked out for her. Just politely decline or suggest another weekend. Try and see it from her point of view as well.

We have 8 bank holidays a year on top of annual leave. If anything, a bank holiday is the perfect time to go away and do something fun because you have time to relax a bit. Just think OP, a few days in Paris or Marbella, or even Edinburgh or Dublin, bit of window shopping, a museum or bus tour, maybe even stay in a spa hotel where you can have a massage and a swim before getting all dressed up to go for cocktails, dinner and dancing - even better if it’s somewhere warm where you can laze on the beach and have a dip in the sea. Your DP and kids will have a great time eating pizza, watching movies, and staying up too late. Now I want to go away for a mini break!

DH is off on a boys weekend for May Day; should I LTB for not understanding it is a sacred holy family weekend?

(I'm bloody excited about having a BH to myself to do whatever the fuck I want)

My thoughts exactly @Peaceandquietandacuppa

Explain why you think it's such a big deal please.

Weird reaction to the suggestion and weird thoughts around bank holidays OP! I find it stranger that you take two weeks out to go long haul with friends with family at home but each to their own!

Don't go then.

I haven't bothered reading 20 odd pages, but like those, you sound a bit odd.

Are you jealous that her children are older? Are you jealous that she can just hand them to dad and Swan off?
You can too.

Very strange. I hope your friend has a lovely time with someone who can relax with her.

go! Have fun! YABU

15 pages, my apologies.

I'd LTB forever 😂

Every day is bliss when single. Although sometimes I have to create a fight with myself to feel like others do.

Stop leaving that fucking cupboard door open!! How many times have I told myself??!!!!

Everyone is different. I would hate to be away from my kids for 2 weeks straight. But a 2 night break every now and then? Yes please! Especially if I went for the Saturday Sunday and still saw them Monday afternoon- that’s better than a normal weekend

It may not be intended, but you're definitely giving off vibes of "I'm better than you."

By your own admission, you can spend time away from your partner and kids, you're just choosing not to. Which is fine, but don't put this on her. She asked if you wanted to spend time with her because she likes you. She didn't put you under any pressure. Instead, you've gone on this weird diatribe that anyone with a partner and kids cannot possibly leave them on a bank holiday weekend.

You're not wrong to go, but if you don't like your friend, maybe you can tell her or start ghosting the friendship as she clearly is closer to you than you are to her. It feels like you're judging her for having childfree time, and that's not what friends do.

Why can't you swan off and leave them for a couple of days ?
I would be packing my case now given half the chance 😅

Misses the point totally but can i go instead

kids and husband won’t give a shit they’ll love it that mum is off on a jolly so have interesting tales to tell. It’s healthy for all I say.

It’s a perfectly reasonable thing to ask (your kids are quite big) and perfectly reasonable for you to say yes or no.