friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

[Bigbusheyeyebrows]

My friend is single and will be child free bank holiday weekend while her (practically adult) children are at their dads. She has suggested me and her going away for the weekend

AIBU to think she's BU by asking her me to go away with her for the whole weekend, when I have a partner and younger (12, 14,15) DC at home ?

"Sorry partner & DC, amuse yourselves for the 3 days. I'm off for a jolly from the Friday. See you Monday bank holiday evening sometime"

I think it's out of order for me to just bugger off the whole 3 days and for my friend to think this is OK/expect me to go.

@Bigbusheyeyebrows 👀

I don't think that's selfish. I bet you do a lot for your family, that sounds really fun

You should go OP

@Bigbusheyeyebrows just as well you don't have a job where bank holidays are just like every other day then and you have to decide whether to use a day off for them or not (I won't be on early may BH as all my leave is booked til end Feb 25 apart from one day)

DH, DS and dogs will likely go off in new camper van for some exploration while I just have peace at home.

And if you're ok buggering off long haul for two weeks, this seems an odd reaction for a couple of nights.

My husband went on a 5 day stag do over the Easter BH weekend, honestly go if you want or don’t go. You’re BVU if you think the friend should know your weird rules about a bank holiday and not invite you!

Each to their own but there are what? 8 ? Bank holiday weekends a year?

I'd happily bugger off for one of them. Suggest my husband takes another one for himself and that still leaves 6 for family time.

You go away without your family for two weeks a year.

What is it about bank holidays specifically that make them feel like sacred family time to you? Did you do things as a kid with your parents maybe?

You are hugely over-reacting.
Of course she can ask you.
The sky won't fall in if you go away for 3 days. Lots of people do.

So you go away alone, I fail to see how she’s out of order asking you.

just weird.

Weird

Lol it's not like you'd be leaving a newborn behind. I'd love a weekend away!

I wish someone would ask me to go away. I would happily swan away.

It's fine that you think Bank Holidays should be spent with your family but it's not unreasonable or selfish or mean that your friend should consider a trip away with you at that time. It's just not sacrosanct to her so it's weird you are so offended.

😂😂😂 terrible parent over here. I have 3 dds aged 12-16 and if a friend asked if I wanted to go away one bank holiday I’d very likely say yes! Sounds lovely. Dc are perfectly happy with their very capable father.

Why not just go & have fun?
Your kids Dad can look after his own children for a weekend OP.

I had 2 lovely weekends away with friends last year. Friend 1 is married, with older DC than me, friend 2 is single.
In my absence, DH managed to cope perfectly well with our DC.

Recently DH had a weekend away solo, at a hobby thing. Prior to that he'd had a few days away with a friend.

I don't really see why a friend asking you to go away is a problem.

Why the drama?

I spent most of last bank holiday in B&Q and doing diy while dc entertained themselves. Am I doing bank holidays wrong?

Mine are much younger and I'd jump at the chance

Why is it selfish to have one weekend to yourself?

The kids are teens so presumably you haven't had a weekend away their whole lives?!!

Just go op. Honestly you'll have a nice time & might even chill-out!!

Just read your updates and find it even more bizarre. You don't mind going away for 2 week holiday without family but won't go away for 3 days because it's a bank holiday? I didn't realise there was something particularly special about bank holidays. Your friend is DEFINITELY not being unreasonable.

It is a massive decision OP

It really isn't. It's a weekend with a friend.

Absolutely fucking batshit.

If you don't want to go, then don't go! But to suggest that your friend is somehow in the wrong for a perfectly normal suggestion is just plain weird.

Fuck sake, imagine getting absolutely raging at a friend suggestion a few days away together 🤣

You can say no….. but she isn’t out of order for asking her friend if she fancies a break…. Don’t know why your so offended tbh

I find your reaction really strange.

1 - I would love to go away with a good pal for a few days - anytime! Kids and husband would be fine, as you said yours would be.

2 - I find it hard to understand how you go away for two weeks with your friends every year, and feel no guilt or concern about this, but are so outraged about the thought of leaving your family for three days!

Your kids are well past the young needy stage.

Everyone lives their life differently, but the contradiction between 2 weeks annually ok and a one off 3 days, causing such consternation is hard to understand.

I think your friend might be better off finding another travel mate. I wouldn’t be delighted to suggest a nice trip to a good friend and find them getting in a tizz about it on mumsnet rather than just saying, “Sorry BH are sacrosanct family time for us”.

It’s an invitation not a court order, just say no thanks and unclench a little.

YABU. Personally I think it's nice for your friend to ask, up to you whether you go, simples